pain? help is apprecciated?

Question

my sister died recently, and i'm finding myself incapable of containing my anger, what should i do?

i'm a big guy, so when i get angry it is potentially dangerous to others as well as to myself

i'm only 14, my sister was 25

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that...the only thing I can do is to offer you my sincerest condolences for the loss of your sister.

I hope you heal quickly my friend.....

Answer 2

im deeply sorry for your loss... unfortunately theres nothing much anyone can so or do to change the circumstances. my uncle also died afew weeks ago unexpectedly. Are you keeping it all in, cos if you are this could be the problem. i found that spending time with my family and his friends really helped me alot. Also visiting his grave helps, although i break down each time i go, i walk away feeling better.
People will excuse the way you treat them for the time being... u have every right to be mad, but try your best to contain ur anger, and Gym is deffinetly a good idea... put ur energy into exercise. And if u need to chat, dont be shy :)

Nothing will take the pain away but time will make it easier even though it probably doesnt seem that way at the moment,

Answer 3

I'm so sorry about your sister. Most of us have been there, dis-belief, grief, then anger, then more grief. It's a road we have to travel, and sometimes we don't know if we'll ever reach the end of it, but we do. Your anger is understandable and a normal reaction. It will eventually fade and you will be able to smile at memories of your sister. You know that's how she would want it, no anger....just think of your sis, what she would say. Good luck.PS...just read you're only 14. Can you see a counsellor,connected with the school?

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your loss. Try talking to a grief counselor. They can really help you get past this hard time in your life and move on.

Also there are lots of support groups with people that are going through what you are going through. Dont shut it all inside. Talk about it to friends and relatives. Many of them may be feeling just the way you feel about the loss of your loved one.

Another thing you could try is taking up a hobby or sport to get rid of your repressed anger. Try kick boxing or basketball. Local YMCA's all over the US have many different classes and activities to help you. Some other ideas could be martial arts, tae boe, football, boxing, soccer, and it doesnt even have to be a sport! They have games and activities that can benefit your own personal intrests! Good luck hon and it will get better. I promise.

Answer 5

I am so very sorry for your loss. Anger is normal especially if she was young. But if she has any children focus on them & if she didn't think of all the happy memories & the times that you laughed or got in trouble together. Remember she would want you to be happy & if possible every time you do not lose your temper think of it as that shes trying to help you from above. I hope anything I said helps & again I'm sorry for your loss

Answer 6

Not sure if it will help but in Japan when employees get angry with managers they put a picture of the manager in a room where the employee can scream at it and/or even pound on the picture. IMPORTANT! don't pound on real people.

Another possibility is to read the book "Saved by the Light" by Betty Eadie.

Last but most important - keep the faith - I believe you sister is now watching over you and will be there to greet you when you cross over to the heavenly kingdom promised to us through Jesus Christ.

And by the way - the kingdom of heaven is within us/you as stated in the bible.

Answer 7

See the 5 stages of dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. There are several books written by Kubler-Ross, who died a few years ago. Anger is one of the stages that not only the dying person experiences, but also family and friends of dying or deceased person. Sorry for your loss. It may not seem as if the pain will subside but it will, with time. It's okay to be angry and it is certainly okay to grieve. It's all part of the healing process.

Answer 8

Anger is a stage of grief. Write a journal and it will help bring some perspective to your feelings. Write a letter to her and tell her why you feel so angry that she left you. Allow yourself this outlet now, and you will not have to deal with it later.

If you can, find someone to talk to about your feelings, someone you cannot hurt with strange or unkind remarks. During grief, we sometimes find we held a lot of resentment towards someone and never thought about it.
I could go into detail about all the different things that have happenned to me when I denied myself any formal grieving of relatives, it led to me isolating myself, distrusting others, and deep depression. It does not have to be that way. Death and loss occur daily, but when it happens to you all of the personal twists and turns of that particular relationship color your grieving.

Go to grief sites, read up on the subject, write to yourself, bring up the subject with whomever you feel comfortable with ... and you will find that what you are feeling is not uncommon. But it still hurts. It will not hurt so much if you can turn it into something positive.
You gave no details about age, cause of death, or how sudden or prolonged it happenned. So either you need to give more details to get better responses here or you need to type grief into any search engine and find a wealth of support out their. Death can be a very good thing in instanses of very painful illnesses and some abnormalities, but the survivors lives are always impacted. With support your pain can be turned into a healing proccess. Go find that support.
If I could I would give it to you myself. Death of someone so close to us that they could finish a sentence is never easy. But you do have a reason to live ... in memory of that very special person or in order to insure others do not needlessly die as she did, or ..... (fill in the blank). Don't be helpless, be helpful. I think we all feel for others' loss, its a universal fact of life.
The ultra religious, and those of faith will reassure you that you have not lost the person, they will always be with you in your heart and memories. They are in a better place. They are watching out for you ....
But that isn't much solace at first. First you need to sort out things.
Good luck and may the peace of mind you need so desparately right now, be found.
This site has publications you can send of for : http://www.aarp.org/families/grief_loss/a2004-11-18-pubform.html
Your local library has publications and books on the suject. Most churches have grief support committees whom will even come to you home to help comfort you.
Seek and you will find some peace. Time helps a lot too.

Answer 9

I know this sounds corny, but it works. Focus your energy on doing good things for people in her honor - volunteer time at a food bank, homeless shelter, or any of a thousand community programs.

Whatever you do, don't just sit and stew over it.

Very sorry for your loss. The loss of my Dad was pretty hard, this is how I got through it. Good luck!

Answer 10

I like everyones answers... so go to the gym and beat up the punching bag. Then go volunteer for something you believe in. Then if that's still not enough, to find a grief therapist.
Good luck. My condolences.