I have known this guy for almost 4 years. We have had a very connecting relationship. We seem to understand each other better than anybody else has ever understood us. We really care deeply for each other, but, on the flip side, he is very emotionally unattacthed, especially when I tell him how I feel. I would tell him him very deep things through my e-mail and I would not get a response. Why is that? He and I are still very close. I often think of him as my soul mate. He knows that when I tell him the things I do, he seems to shut me out and he knows it bothers me. He still does it. He would pull me in, and push me away. I feel it's time to move on, but, it's really hard. I can't let go of this guy. I just wish I could. I do nothing to him to warrant this. There are lots of other guys, and I know this, but why can't I get passed this paticular guy? I am ashamed of myself for feeling like I do, it's silly, and not like me at all. What is wrong with me? Are these mind games?
2006-10-23 13:01:06 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't understand how somebody can really like somebody, push them away, pull them back in, and then ignore emotion, and expect emotion. I'm lost. Help!
2006-10-23 13:02:41 · update #1
Am I sucker for this kind abuse? Is this abuse?
2006-10-23 13:03:54 · update #2
Either he is a gemini or he is playing you, or he truly doesn't know how to respond to your feelings. It could be mind games, or it could be a real problem for him. Have you asked him why? It doesn't have to be life or death - just curious. Is that something with you or do I make you uncomfortable or maybe you just didn't get the emails - just clear the air.
And let me just say, before you do that - leave a way for this to work out. Think of an answer that he can give that you can live with. Imagine this being just something that needs to be talked about and once you do, you can go on to have a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
So often we imagine the worst, we dread and we fear. Either we are making ourselves crazy over nothing, or maybe we create the negative experience because we couldn't see any other way for it to work out.
This man has feelings for you - you have a personal relationship with him for a long time - there is a way to work this out. Just talk to him. A positive outcome awaits your fond expectations!
Peace!
2006-10-23 13:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really cannot know for sure, unless your friend opens up to you. So, the best thing you can do right now is to try your best to distance yourself from your friend. You have to get used to this somehow, as painful as it may seem. Because your emotional state would just worsen if you don't. I don't think you're in it for the abuse. I think you just want to be treated the way you treat him. Sadly, there are just times when people push and pull you in for no apparent reason. And in times like this, you really need to let go. Just give yourself more self-worth. Who knows, once you do this, your friend might realize that he is losing you. And that just might be the whack in the head that he needs. Best of luck!
2006-10-23 20:26:08 · answer #2 · answered by - iceman - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you ashamed for feeling the way you do, your no different to any of us.You will never forget any of your friends in all your life ( at least until you get old then your memory f**ks up anyway). Man he wants to move on and your just part of his lifes experiences as he will become one of yours. Move on to new friends and if anything is meant to happen between you two then it will. Its obvious that at the moment he doesnt want to be your close friend, but as you move on these feeling for him will fade a bit and you will meet exciting new guys, if you dont move on then you will fall in a rut. You sound like a very nice guy so you should move on so we can meet guys like you in our travels. Goodluck Mr niceguy.
2006-10-23 23:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to spend time with yourself. Really think about what you want out of a realationship. The ones we love the most are the ones we can never really be with. It's hard, but he has his own problems right now that "he" needs to deal with.
2006-10-23 22:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by aza_424 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin' You got to love yourself First!! and MOST!!. Keep him as a friend, (or not) but you need to move on!! He is undoubtedly having some kind of "identy " problem. Let him work through it... Just be there for him.... BUT!! YOU need to move on. GOODEST LUCK!! and Much love to you!!!
2006-10-23 20:08:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, is he an Aquarius? Sounds like one.
2006-10-23 21:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard but let go.... spend some time by yourself before you jump into the pool of mens again.. let time heal the wound he's created...
2006-10-23 21:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by Chef Shortie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋