My husband and I have been having problems he gets upset when he thinks I'm not respecting him, with little things like him being on the computer and me bugging him asking him thingsl ike what webpage he's looking at etc,, or me asking him what he's doing during his d. Lately i have notced that he doesn't like me getting into his business, or as he feels having a leash or something on him. All I do is ask him questions about his day, but it seems he's hiding something. Well yestarday in an arguement he said "There are people out there who DO respect me." and he left it at that. He very much wants me to respect every little thing he does not like, but what is he getting at when he said "There are people out there who respect me.?" I don't want to assume its another woman, but in the situation is he referring to general people (like people in his unit at the Marine Corp?) or does it sound more like another woman? Why would he just throw this out while in an arguement with me?
2006-10-23 12:53:55 · 26 answers · asked by ilih2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I get nit picky about saking about the day like who did you talk to, who did you eat with, etc..
2006-10-23 13:01:27 · update #1
It's quite possible that he is referring to another woman, especially if he is getting secretive, and wants you to stay out of his business. He may even be communicating by email. I know you want to go into denial, but he is giving you hints, and your gut is telling you that something is up. If it's not another person, then it could be a personal problem that he is too ashamed to talk to you about. Either way, if he doesn't want to communicate with you, there are avenues for you to get personal counseling, as a military spouse, through advocacy channels where you are stationed at.
2006-10-23 13:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by macfifty06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun my husband done this to me a little over a month ago. Needless to say there was a lot more to just the computer than i thought. I had my suspensions but was only proven a couple weeks ago. Now I'm sitting alone in a new apartment awaiting divorce papers. Protect yourself make sure you are taken care of financially and can stand on your own then be front and ask him. I know it's scary and hard but hey you deserve to know the truth and be able to take control of your life instead of being pulled around. Besides if he respected you he wouldn't mind you knowing how his day was and what he was doing on the computer. Think about it. Recently there was an article in my home town paper how many marriages are resulting in divorce because of the computer.
I wish you luck and will keep you in my prayers. Maybe your outcome will be different than mine.
2006-10-23 20:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many reasons first men don't like to be nagged at. If you are harping on every little thing he does during the day it's like you don't trust him and your spying on him. Instead of asking what did you do today, ask How did your day go? Far as other people respecting him that can mean anything. You also have to realize if he is in the Marines, there are things he does at work that he can not tell you about. Besides you don't have to ask him what web page he is on, all you have to do is look at the history file.
2006-10-23 20:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think i'd be afraid to ask him if it is another woman, judging by his attitude, although that seems...well, it seems like a probable cause. Maybe you should tell him you feel like you two are losing connection, or that it's not you trying to pry into his life, just wanting to see how he feels and how his life has been outside of you. tell him that IS respecting him, because you care for him and want to know what's up. Not respecting him would not be caring for him at all, and not bothering to ask how his day was...
you could always check on the computer to see what he has been looking at... just go to start, my computer, windows, temporary internet files, and it usually shows pictures/web links that have been looked at...or just the history.... that may not be respecting him, but it may give you insight as to what he is doing, which can clue you in on to what he is thinking, in case you are afraid of approaching him with the topic of there being another woman.
2006-10-23 20:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by UNCBballGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think he means exactly what he is saying. He doesn't feel as if you respect him and in his life outside of the home there are people who he feels respect him. Whether its his privacy or the decisions he makes on a day to day basis. Asking a person too many questions can make them feel harrassed. He may feel like you are nagging him, even you said you are buggin him. Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel the need to be invasive and talk to him about what is going on with you. A man needs to know that his wife respects him as person and she doesn't feel the need t check on his every move.
My mother used to say if you look for something hard enough you might just find it. He could possibly be hiding something, but there is a great chance that he is not. Instead of asking him questions about himself ask him a question about you. Like, if you could change one thing about me what would it be. Or just try talking to him and not at him.
2006-10-23 20:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by goody 2 shoes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one. don't assume its another woman. but sit down and think for a min. you said that he gets upset that you ask him things about what web site he is on and things like that. well, why do you? now ask your self when he is done with his day does he come right home? does he go out all the time leaving you at home. if he does not do any of this stuff. then maybe you need to back off him some. maybe, you are tightening the leach. but, on the other hand if he is doing the things you have already asked your self. then i would lean towards another lady.
2006-10-23 20:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have time alone with him or ask him for some time to just sit and talk ask him what he meant. It is to easy for others to read into his message and he is really the only one who knows. I was in the Army for many years and know what it is like to need some personnal time to unwind from work- alone but he needs to hear from you also that you miss him while he is away and just want to be part of his life when you are together. In an argument couples will throw out a lot of things that may not have any meaning behind them except to invoke an emotion- conversation is the best oral stimulous for a marriage. Talk to him.
2006-10-23 20:03:39 · answer #7 · answered by schlepp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be VERY, VERY suspicious. I had the same thing happen to me years ago with my husband. It was another woman. If you can afford it I would get a private detective. I wish I had done it. Would have caused alot less grief and self blame on my part. He may be talking to another woman on the computer.(emotional cheating) Or he could be corresponding with a woman right in your home town. (cheating) You are everything that is wrong in his life right now. Or so HE thinks. What he is doing is wrong and you do not need to put up with it one second. If he indeed is cheating. Protect yourself.....anyway you can that is legal.
2006-10-23 20:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is why the internet is so dangerous. I think he's been getting attention from people who only see or hear things he's telling them. It sounds like he's making distance between the two of you. You should just back off for awhile and see what he does. Also, check out the sites he's been on by clicking on history... it will bring up all the sites he's been on.... if the history has been cleared than you know he's been up to no good. Sorry about this.
2006-10-23 19:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by DanoMD 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good no matter what he means. Hopefully for you it is the people at the marine corp and not another woman. Maybe you should try to sit and talk with him and ask him to elaborate on the subject. Just be careful what you wish for. You might not wanna hear the answer. good luck
2006-10-23 20:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by tray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋