She plays head games and manipulates me and tricks me all the time. But, I have to take it. The law says I can't use my man strength to set her straight. What gives ladies?
2006-10-23 12:44:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I told her to stay away but she keeps coming back and calling me... Then I get sucked back in... How can I change - She is no-good
2006-10-23 12:48:23 · update #1
You need to make up your mind and leave her alone. If she is no good for you why do you keep dealing with her. This has more to do with who you are and less of who she is. If you are aware that she is not good for you, be strong and make yourself realize that you deserve better. Good luck and God bless.
2006-10-24 01:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit getting sucked in.
She is manipulating you because you are allowing her to.
Phone the police and get a restraining order against her AFTER you pack up anything she has over at your place, get a friend to deliver it to HER doorstep so she has no reason to come back to your place, and making it completely crystal clear that you never want to see her again. The friend delivering it ensures you that you will not have to see her face to face.
Mail her a non-insulting impersonal (don't get all angry and emotional, or bring up past memories, let a friend proofread before sending.) letter stating that you will not allow her to mentally abuse and manipulate you anymore, and suggesting that she get a therapist to teach her how to treat men, and tell her when the restraining order will be in effect. Get the police to coach you on how or even if you should even contact her by letter. If you get the go-ahead, keep a copy in case theres a court battle of any kind (say, if she breaks the order). And keep a record of any instances that you see her near your place.
The friend that has been delivering and proof reading for you should also be the friend that you make a pact with, stating that if you ever see this girl again, mention her in a I-wanna-get-back-together sort of way, or in any way take steps toward rekindling the relationship, beat you up by whatever method or weapon he sees fit.
Then, you avoid dating anyone, or getting involved with any girl for at least six months. You need to rest from this roller coaster you've been on and just be you for a while.
2006-10-23 14:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say "But, I have to take it."
Walk away and never look back. If she follows you, get a restraining order out. Make sure you have witnesses to back up your claims as it is much more difficult for a man to get help with abuse than it is for a woman. At no stage should you react with physical violence as YOU will be the one put away.
Quite often if a man has been abused people will turn around and say "well he obviously did something to deserve that" when in actual fact they are the innocent party. We don't go around blaming women for getting beaten up, do we?
It's a double standard really. Society looks upon women as "the victim" and men as "the perpetrator". Until this thinking is corrected by a general attitude change in society, there will always be a problem.
2006-10-23 14:02:16 · answer #3 · answered by littlyau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a personality disorder or some kind of mental illness. Not all women have one. You may have had a mother with problems like this (or a father) so it feels normal to you. It is not. You must get away from her and stay away. That way you will be getting yourself ready for a nice girl...there are many of us loving and sweet women around. And while you're waiting for the right one, make a list of the qualities you would like in the perfect woman. go ahead..just like ordering something at a restaurant where they will fix it exactly the way you want it. This and some love mojo will bring her to you. There is only one catch. You must have the same qualities yourself.
Good luck with this and don't settle for less than you have.
2006-10-23 16:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by Greanwitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know how you feel and if that doesn't work, then do what she does to you. You don't have to put up with it you know. I'm not saying you have to go at her (Trust me, I would never encourage that) but you can't let her do that to you man. If she plays mind tricks on you, then play mind tricks on her. She only does that because she knows that you'll always come crawling back to her. Scare her, act like you won't crawl back and then, I think, she won't take you for granted. You got to let her know that you're not some kind of boy toy that she can throw around whenever she wants, stand up for yourself. If she's treating you like that I would consider you're relationship; a good relationship isn't built on one person being in control and treating the other like crap but on both people learning to compromise and respect one another. From the looks of it, she doesn't respect you, she takes you for granted. Well, there's nothing more that I can tell you, so good luck.
2006-10-23 13:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Eaglegirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One cannot be manipulated unless one agrees to the outcome same goes for tricking and mental abuse.Choice #1 stay and change how it affects you or #2 leave and cease all contact completely or # 3 stay and whine about it or #4 respond physically and end up in jail....that`s it. There are no more choices...choose one you can live with.
2006-10-23 12:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Therapist King 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up for yourself. Don't answer her calls, get away from her.
And, your "man strength"? Hitting her, even if it were legal, wouldn't solve your problem which isn't so much her, but your allowing her to come back into your life and manipulate you. You do need to change, not only to avoid her in the future, but other women like her.
2006-10-23 15:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by sweetwickedgrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Scouttste, Believe me,all women are not like your so called GF. It's time to move on with your life.no guy or gal should have to put up with mentally abuse or being manipulate.you just need to find the right girl,someone you will get along with,and someone who will respect you as a man,and your feeling.soooo grab your hat and run my friend.
Clowmy
2006-10-23 12:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What gives is that you don't have to take it. You're right, the law says you can't use your man strength to set her straight, but you can leave, change your phone number, etc. Just because you can't beat her doesn't mean you have no power.
2006-10-23 12:50:53 · answer #9 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you obviously have no will power if you go back to the all the time.
By law you can't physically abuse her, but it's the same with her, just coz she's female, she can't abuse you either.
If she's as psycho as you make her sound, you need to get a restraining order on her, move away and change your phone number to a silent one.
2006-10-23 12:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, dump her and keep her dumped. You don't have to take her manipulations, but you do have to get out of that relationship. This is not a case of "oh, women have it so much better". This is a case of you needing some help to get out of an abusive relationship. See a therapist, call your friends, and get away from that jerk.
2006-10-23 13:32:10 · answer #11 · answered by random6x7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋