My husband and I have sensed problems in our marriage for several years ( 4 or so) but time has passed quickly due to illnesses and family deaths etc and now he has just begun therapy as he realized he has lots of luggage from his past that he feels may have effected our marriage.
I see that the changes that I am looking for may not be the pesron he really is. Like I would like a husband who will attend events and family functions with me and he never has (always comes up with an excuse) and I don't think that will change. There are some issues that I think may get worked out but there are some fundamentals that I think I looked past (we got married fairly shortly after we met) and I think I missed it in the "love haze".
Things like he feels that his business and financial descisons are his and none of my business even though they effect us both. His manic depression has got us into major finacial problems and yet he still feels I should stay out of "his business".
2006-10-23 12:36:44 · 12 answers · asked by Sandra C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Am I fooling myself to think that some things will change? How long should i wait to see some changes in the issues even he knows are problems. I wan't to be patient but after this many years it is hard to see the trees for the forest.
Anyone be there? Yes, I know, in sickness and health but we are talking fundamental personality issues here.
2006-10-23 12:38:23 · update #1
Six months is enough time to get the changes into effect
2006-10-23 12:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋
Manic depression means bi-polar, and people who suffer from bi-polarity are often unsuccessful with personal relationships. Bi-polar doesn't mean one minute he's up, the next he's down. It's a very complex and very difficult disorder. He may not even know why he does some of the things he does. The end result - you can't win. If he doesn't seek medication and take responsibility for his share of the problems in the marriage, you're fighting a long, exhausting, painful, lonely uphill battle. Read up on manic depression and bi-polar, it's an eye-opener. Good luck.
2006-10-23 12:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question has ever been the type to go to all the events and family functions? If the answer is no, then why would you expect him to want to do it now
*Read "proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr. Laura
I usually don't like her radio show but this book was great.
*Good Luck, hang in there at least until you read that book
2006-10-23 16:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by COLE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I don't know how long you've been married but I think you've put in your time. You've been thru alot and I don't think its going to get any better. I am there too only mine isn't going thru therapy. His problems he sees (alittle) but is doing nothing to change. If there is no change, how can things work? I know its in sickness and health and all that crap but really, life is short and if your not happy, why stick with it? I hope you make the decision you can live with and are happier. Good luck honey!
2006-10-23 12:44:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well his business is your business. You are married and the decisions he makes do affect you. Maybe you should try going to counseling with him. That may help both of you. Be supportive and stand by his side. And don't worry about what will happen in the future, worry about the here and now. I hope it all works out for you.
2006-10-23 12:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by sea shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's manic depressive he won't change. You can't reason with a person like that. You'll have to figure out a way to make your life better. You should go get counselling as you need some support.
2006-10-23 16:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must stay with him..Just stand right next to him in every situations,cause you don't get enough time to love each other and soon decided to marry.Well Life without financial problem?How can you imagine..Accept the challenges,so that you will feel the exhilaration of victory.What we see depends mainly on what we look for.are you willing to sacrifice to accomplish?
2006-10-23 12:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by precede2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of baggage from past relationships, but never "luggage". lol
Sounds like he has a lot of problems alright.. Only you know if the good stuff is worth it.
2006-10-23 12:39:38 · answer #8 · answered by Phil S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either get HIM some help or get a Divorce if you stay with him without him getting help you will just be miserable and I'm sure you did not get married to be miserable.
2006-10-23 12:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by orlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old truth: women marry hoping that their husbands will change; men marry hoping that their wives won't - both will be disappointed.
2006-10-23 12:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by Perplexed Music Lover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋