If because you were crippled by someone you had no future other than to be cared and paid for by others......?

Question

would you consider prison as an option ?

This would allow you to take revenge and remove the need for you to be a constant drain on the resources of the people you care about .

This question comes from my B/F he was crippled by the stupidity of someone else who is above legal action , he is capable of pulling a trigger and says he does not feel sorry for himself he just thinks that it maybe the only useful thing he might ever do is make sure that the same thing does'nt happen to someone else ,

ps he has been to prison before for fighting and the fighter is still alive inside even if the body won't allow it , and he considers benefits similar to begging on the street .

Answer 1

If he puts benefits on par with begging, then maybe he should rethink the situation until he realises that benefits for being disabled/unable to work are fair and justified. He's not claiming out of laziness, obviously.

Answer 2

Helen, read this answer please and I hope it helps you and your boyfriend and read the other constructive ones on here. Your boyfriend obviously needs help and so do you- being crippled by someone else's action is a terrible thing but equally hurting them won't change that. Taking benefits is not a crime and is not the same as begging- its the same as being given a hand up if you've fallen over- there is no crippledom that is so severe that you cannot do something.

Even if he can't work at anything, remember that there are so many things of beauty out in the world- even if you were in constant pain, it wouldn't be worth going to prison. Think of the plays, art, music, books, people that you could see, read and think about. Think of the wonders that you can see just going down the road and contemplating nature. I know this seems useless but these are the pleasures of life and without them we are but pigs in a sty. Furthermore if he is so crippled he can't do anything- just loving another person is enough to fill an entire life with- loving his friends and family may bring rewards that he would never have had if he had remained uninjured.

I hope he gets over what he is feeling at the moment and I hope you can help him- but revenge isn't a way forwards.

http://gracchii.blogspot.com

Answer 3

Helen, you are hurt but dont be revengeful. Life has a habit of hurting us all somehow or other. If you are in England and under 60 you can get benefits and your carers would also get a carers allowance so you dont need to be a constant financial drain on anyone. Try to learn something useful....something that will help others less fortunate than yourself. We all think that we are worse off than everyone else but if you look around there will be someone a lot worse off than you. I think you are feeling depressed right now but the depression will wear off. Perhaps you can get some counselling to help you. See a doctor and tell him that you need to talk to someone...to get these hurt feelings out of yourself. I know how you feel because in the past year so many things have happened to me and I have felt like giving up on many occasions. Just remember this....A man was walking in the desert and he did not have any shoes and the sand was burning his feet so he calls out to God...."Why do you make me suffer like this? The sand is burning my feet" and then as he is walking he sees a man with no feet at all and so he calls out to God....."Thank you God. It doesn't matter about the sand burning my feet..at least I have some feet", don't worry things will get better. Dont think bad things and try to see if the outcome of everything brings good. I recently had a water tank burst and my house was flooded so I called the insurance people and now the whole house is being redecorated. I would not have been able to afford all the work done on my own so see from bad came good. That is only a minor incident that has happened to me in the last few months. I have had one incident after another and I started thinking that life wasnt worth living but now I am turning the corner and trying to make the bad into a positive situation. Good luck. Please dont get so upset, At least you have people that love you and care for you. Some are crppled with no one to love or care for them. :)

Answer 4

If i read the question and the details right your friend is considering killing someone so he will be arrested and incarcerated to take advantage of the free healthcare in prison. I don't know what state you're in but it would be premeditated murder and he would face the death penalty in many states.

If it is revenge more than anything, then give it up. It will harm him more than anyone else.

He has been incapacitated and has to accept what happened and learn to live with it and adapt.

For inspiration read the story of Hellen Keller, Steven Hawkings, Beethoven, etc.

Sometimes God brings things down upon us because He needs our undivided attention. When the body fails (by trauma or age) our mind and spirit are what we are left with. This is the greatest power on earth.

I pray your friend will release the pain and anger and hate and know the joy and happiness that can come from learning to love others

Love is the greatest force in the universe and if you embrace this thought then love will be given you and you will live forever.

Answer 5

i now understand why you feel the way you do.

if i were in your position i probably would feel the same way.

i feel sorry for your boyfriend, but any retaliation would mean his suffering would be for nothing.
if you or he were to take actions against this person, then all it would achieve is another person in prison, who should not be there.
it is always good to wonder - what if
but in reality you would not be together, you could not show your love for him, the way you do now - by caring for him, by being there for him.
if you or he did something stupid - in the heat of the moment and took revenge (or even took a life) could you actually live with yourselves???

prison does look to be an easy way of life but it is not that good.
TV shows just let you see the good side or an exciting side.

i myself was sentenced to 12 months for a crime i did not commit.
i lost all that time, away from the people who i love and friends i wanted to be with - and instead got beaten, bullied and threatened nearly every day i was there.
i would not want to wish that on anybody.
yet i did not take revenge on those 'so called "friends" of mine'.
i couldn't bring myself to be in a position where i could be sent back to a place like that.

i can only hope that i am never put in your situation, and my heart goes out to you both.

Answer 6

Er.. as I am probably what you term 'a cripple' I feel suitably qualified to tell you to FRICK OFF!!

So I can't walk around the block, SO FRICKING WHAT!!??

When my husband was asked how it felt to be 'encumbered' with all it now takes to help me, he replied that "She's done it all for over 20 years, I figure it's MY turn now." Thank God I'm married to HIM and not a heartless bastard like YOU!

Thanks for the 2 points...you can shove the 10 up your airse!

Sorry for that...I get your question now; initially you made it sound like you were advocating prisons as the best 'nursing homes' for disabled people!

Now - if I understand your question right - you are asking

"If your disability were caused by someone who feels no remorse, would you accept prison as the price to pay for blowing the flicker's head off?"

If that IS indeed the question, then my answer would (probably) be no...I can't imagine ANYTHING making me feel okay with taking another life.

The Bible does say "An eye for an eye." BUT it also says "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord." I take this to mean that whilst I may choose to 'turn the other cheek', God will exact the vengeance due - on my behalf.

Answer 7

It would be much more of a drain on the people you care about knowing that you did such a horrible thing, that would land you in prison for a long period of time. Let the people close to you show you they love you, serve them by being thankful for having them in your life. Revenge is selfish and in this case it would bring lifelong shame on the people who love you. Think of the questions they would have to answer. What if it where parents wondering where they went wrong raising a child who would grow up to take such actions, what failures they would consider themselves. Or a freind or sibling or lover that thought you would rather be in prison than with them. Look for examples of people in your current situation that have lived on and contributed beyond themselves. You can still love your life.

Answer 8

Why should being disabled be a crime?
How would going to gaol allow you to take revenge on anyone?
If racism is unacceptable why should disablism be acceptable?
My son has a specific learning disability but his biggest disability is people like you.
Several of my friends have physical or sensory impairments; they all work for a living in jobs ranging from social work to training, from research to TV producer.
Famous people with disabilities
Sarah Bernhardt; Mohammad Ali; Stevie Wonder; Ray Charles; Michael J. Fox; Ian Drury; Christy Brown; Lord Byron; Vincent Van Gogh; John Milton; Winston Churchill; Stephen Hawkins; Jack Hawkins; Tycho Brache; Cervantes; Christopher Reeve; Franklin Roosevelt; Goya; Helen Keller; Richard Prior; Horatio Nelson; Beethoven; Douglas Bader.
If I did a little research I could come up with a lot more.
Try some of sites I found with a quick search

Your boyfriend sounds like a very violent bitter person; try and get him into therapy or counselling of some sort. You should be able to get some info from your GP.
I may be jumping the gun here but if he displays violence towards you, get help. Even if you don't want to leave most refuges have outreach workers. Being disabled doesn't give him the right to mistreat you.

Answer 9

how would you end up in prison? if you have the ability to do something that would land you there (and that would mean a crime and crimes harm people) anyway, if you have the ability to get up and do a crime, you also could do something good to help yourself. also, why would you think being in prison would remove you from being a drain and a use of resources? you would just be a drain on people you dont know, who end up paying threw taxes for you to be there,,,,,,, finally, who do you think you would get revenge on? the person that crippled you? no,,,,, so i cant say i see your point at all

Answer 10

You've obviously never been inside a prison if you think that any person crippled to that degee could contemplate serving a term of imprisonment. Who'd look after you inside? How vulnerable a target you would be! This is not a realistic proposition!