I am 21 years old and happily engaged to a wonderful man, however since I was 15 I have lived with a secret that continues to haunt me to this day.
I am in love with someone else, and he is my cousin. I would never do anything about it, after all...we share the same genes.
But I cannot help feeling this way about him, I wish I could but I can't.
Is it disgusting even though I would never sleep with him or whatever? I feel horrible every time I look at him and get that feeling of total infatuation.
I have been in love with him for so long now it's not funny, and if he wern't my cousin he would actually be perfect.
But since I would never act on my feelings, how do I make the love go away? I have tried telling myself that it will never work, but that doesn't help.
Please help me....I feel like a freak
2006-10-23 12:21:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Not even in your country...so no...not the deep south
2006-10-23 12:29:19 · update #1
He is my first cousin
2006-10-23 12:44:31 · update #2
You didn't say what cousin his he?? 1st, 2ND, 3rd or fourth? Add details and i will answer from my other screen name, OK? Don't feel like a freak!!
2006-10-23 12:41:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first thing to do is to understand that you are not a freak or a disgusting person. I am not a psychologist or anything but I guess you should start by going back to when you first became infatuated with your cousin. Is there anything actually wrong with your fiancee? Do you think you are leading your fiancee on and he does not deserve to be treated this way? Do you think your cousin feels the same way about you? How often do these feelings haunt you: random times of the regular day or just when you see your cousin?
I don't really know what to say but just know that you are not a freak.
2006-10-23 19:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, the good thing about you is that you're not even considering acting on your feelings. I am wondering though whether your feelings for your cousin is affecting the way you feel for your fiance. You did say that your fiance is a wonderful man, but you never said that he is perfect. He may be a wonderful man, but is he the one for you? Trust me, I'm not trying to be a homewrecker, but it's something to consider. I think that you have had your cousin as the embodiment of the perfect man since you were 15, but now it is that you're engaged to someone else who is different from your cousin, and this will obviously make things hard for your fiance. My thing is that you should try to concentrate more on loving your fiance... Maybe you need to convince yourself that even though he is a wonderful man he is also the PERFECT ONE FOR YOU!!! Good luck, and I wish you a long and happy marriage with your fiance!
2006-10-23 19:45:56 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if you would be classified as disgusting, because
you have feelings for your cousin. If you act on those feelings, and take it further, yeah. I think you have to realize the implications of having an incestuous relationship could have.
Think of the genetic problems that any baby you have with a blood relative could have. There's a reason why incest is considered a taboo. I think you need to get professional help.
2006-10-26 12:21:04 · answer #4 · answered by Answerer17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not disgusting. Most girls have a favourite cousin in whom they become infatuated. This doesn't mean you are in love with him. If you feel you can relate your infatuation to your fiance, then you may be marrying the right man for you. Why don't you try telling him and see how he reacts. If he reacts badly, then you have chosen the wrong man to spend the rest of your life with. If the reaction is positive, then he will understand, and possibly, will tell you about the crush he had on one of his cousins.
2006-10-23 19:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Leah M 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all you can't marry your fiancee because clearly you don't love him!! your marriage would fail if you love someone else so you must break off your engagement to him, it is not fair to him.!!
You are not a freak but I don't think you should say anything to your cousin or the fiancee about your feelings for him.
you will cause all sorts of problems in the family & that would be so bad for you & all
you can plain make a choice to tell your self it would never work
& when you find your self thinking of him force your self to think of something else
its that simple & one day your will fall in love with another
good luck
2006-10-23 21:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Disgusting no. I know someone that is with their cousin. Not southern either. However apparently you havn't found someone that your truly in love with outside of this. If you have these feelings you are not being honest to you or your finance. Time, distance and meeting the right person will be the only cure for it.
2006-10-23 19:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tommy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Really I don't understand this culture. What's wrong to love your cousin or even to marry him. He is not your BROTHER. If he feels the same way to you . Go ahead and marry him. You are very normal. But unfortuanatly people makes the culture against nature sometimes.
2006-10-25 23:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by ahmedragab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the biggest crush on two of my cousins growing up. Time went on and it faded....give it time. I also lived 500 miles away from them so it wasn't so hard to get over them...don't listen to the chick's answer above me....she's obviously one of those annoying christians that can't seem to stay away from us...your not a freak hun....
2006-10-23 19:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by Lipstick 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
ok to tell you the truth i really don't know what to do but i can try and give you some advice.ok,soyou have feelings for him and you can't show your feelings ok what i would do to make the love go away is............i would problably have sex with some one that loves you and you love them eccept your cousin just try it do it with your fiansay and it MIGTH help.you just might have to deal with it for the rest of your life and no you are not a disgusting b!tch
2006-10-23 19:35:56 · answer #10 · answered by sexy_red 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋