but i know i wasn't, this guy pressured into having sex with him, i said no b/c i was a virgin,i'm 19, you'd think i wasn't a virgn but i wanted my first time to be with a guy i really like, unfortunenately i gave him b/c i 'm stupid and coudln't say no, it wasn't great at all, the guy is cute, but that's it, it kinda hurt and it lasted about 2 mins and i did not even bleed, than after wards he said i was wayy too tight. i hate the way my first intercourse experience was horrible, any advice on how to deal?
2006-10-23 12:19:14 · 20 answers · asked by soccerqt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he pressured me into having sex with him,and i kept saying no until i gave in b/c i didn't know what else to do and i didn't want to get him mad..
2006-10-23 12:20:41 · update #1
Oh for gosh sakes, just deal with it!! That was NOT rape!!
2006-10-23 12:48:25 · answer #1 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you were raped, then you were. You said no, he kept pressuring, you then had sex against your will. That is rape, even if he convinced you to consent. Especially if you were a virgin, you lack the experience to make an informed decision. Then he tries to blame you for a bad experience, to take the blame off of himself for soemthing he knows was wrong. and of course you were tight, since you're a virgin, and not really "into it" in the first place. Don't let him make you feel bad. He was the one in the wrong, not you. It's a shame your first experience was not a good one. Sex is a wonderful, amazing thing that can be an incredible experience between two people, and don't let this A**hole ruin it for you. If you still feel upset, a little therapy might help, or becoming active with a local chapter of "Take Back The Night". Good luck, sweetie, stay strong, be powerful, it's the best revenge.
2006-10-23 12:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by orphanannie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only advise is get as far away from this guy as possible. Step back and take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and say, I am wonderfully beautiful woman; I deserve to be loved for what love is not for what it isn't. I will not let this hinder me in anyway and i will recover and get over this. I will not hold any grudge on myself or this boy that I was with because it was both of us that said yes, not just one. I will not make another mistake like this without thinking about this comment. Is is worth the rest of your life????? I don't think I have to tell you the things you can get from having sex with a partner that you hardly know. But no one really tells you about the emotional roller coaster that you will go on for years to come. Especially if the experience is a bad one.
I wish you a lot of luck and best of all I wish you a lot of wisdom. Not that your not wise, but I am 36 years old and I am still learning and gaining in wisdom. I have been in your shoes, and I wish i could give you the wisdom I have learned thru the years.
Take care,
gamags
2006-10-23 12:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by gamagnolia35 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never feel bad about telling someone "NO!" I hate that you had your first experience that way. You better tuffin up because if you let him get next to you because you didn't want to say no. Well, lady I have news for you. It's gonna be more coming around now trying to apply the same pressure. Do you know why? Because he's got to go tell his friends. You better hold your head up high and straighten your back and say "Hell To Tha Naw!" If not you'll be worn out before you get 21. You still can wait from this moment out until you get married. Life is full of mistakes. You didn't make the first and you want make the last. Just don't make the same mistake twice. Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!!
2006-10-23 12:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him. He should NEVER have pressured you, or made you feel like he would be mad if you didn't give in. People say that the first time should be good...but ask anyone, 9 times out of 10...it's NOT. At least for females, anyway. Just see it as a lesson learned, try not to dwell on it...you'll have many amazing experiences in the future. Just don't let a guy make you feel bad or change your principles for him. My first experience sounded very much like yours. You'll be fine and realize he's a jerk and you were just being naive. Keep that chin up! :)
2006-10-23 12:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by circa 1980 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time, don't let ANYONE pressure you into doing anything you don't want to. Consider it a mistake, learn from it and stand your ground next time. I had a good friend that always got pressured into having sex because she wanted the guy to like her and she thought that they would be a couple afterwards. By the age of 21. she had slept with over 100 guys. She didn't stand up for herself.
You don't want to end up like that.
Decalre yourself a "born again virgin". Just make sure that when you have sex the next time, it is because YOU want to...and use protection!!!
2006-10-23 12:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by lion75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you are over the age of consent but there is a legal term called undue influence. If this gentlemen, a term i use loosely, was in a position where you were alone with him and he kept pushing after you said no, but felt there were reasons you couldnt leave the situation you may want to call a rape hotline or talk to a consoler. I doubt you will get usable answers on yahoo, because it varies state to state. Really ask someone who knows
2006-10-23 12:30:46 · answer #7 · answered by NightlordWizard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he got mad then there's something wrong with him. It was probably so bad because you didn't really want to do it. You need to tell him that he needs to back off when someone tells him no more than once. Then tell him you were too tight because that's what a real women feels like. Do it in front of people it will embarras him. Just like he embarresed you.
2006-10-23 12:27:15 · answer #8 · answered by adriennejimjr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's one thing ive learned..... never have sex with anyone just to please them. If you do that you will end up hating sex in the end. Next time you are in a situation like this, Just get up and walk away. Who cares if he gets mad? If he cant respect your decision then he's not worth it anyway. And you dont want to be with a guy who doesnt respect you do you? I'm sorry this happened to you.
2006-10-23 12:29:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For us females, the first time isn't that magical experience we all hope it to be, just learn from the experience and move on, it will get better!! I've been in the same situation and others that I truley regret, but that which does not kill you will only make you stronger. Keep your head up! :)
2006-10-23 12:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by jackie_hinson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry u had to go thru that but i respect u because u have respect for ur body and waited that long when theres lil 13 year old girls getting pregnant and s h i t even tho it really wasnt ur choice.....only thing i can say keep ur head up and as time goes by the pain will go away
2006-10-23 12:25:17 · answer #11 · answered by bigboss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋