ive asked before but couldnt get many answers?

Question

am 24 married for 2 years and hav 1 year old. anyway itss embaressing but i do not enjoy sex anymore. i hte when my husband touches me.i get disgust if i see sex on tv even kissing. i started to find excuses for not to make love with my husband..i hate it sex is disgusting and when i do it i hate myself and feel guilty even i am married. whats happening to me. i am scared my hubby will cheat me at the end
ps no i havent been sexually abused before.. but i had very strict dad who believes boys not meant to be friends.. never had a bf before only my husband

sex is just disgusting and i feel like an animal when i do it.it makes me sick really sick

Answer 1

Sex is not a nasty bad act. Is there any one thing in sex that you don't like? Oral, Intercourse or everything? You need to turn your self loose and just go wild one time and just do anything you want. Try a swingers club or get some toys and face your fears and just do it.
Not to be rude but, if you stop doing him he will do someone else.

Answer 2

You need to get two kinds of help marriage counselling and perhaps medical.You may actually be experiencing an extended type of post partum depression or at the very least some hormone imbalance. A doctor could help you out and even guide you in the right direction for some counselling.Remember your baby is still young . You are probably tired out and busy on top of everything else. Marriage will be up and down in terms of desire and sex and stuff. Just try and stay in tune with your partner's needs but don't feel guilty.Marriage is more than sex but you need to get over the repulsion and that may take time.

Answer 3

You say that you do not enjoy sex anymore suggesting that you have at sometime enjoyed it.

Do you think this cold be do with the birth of your baby? This feeling could have its roots in post-natal depression in which case the best person to speak to is your GP. Did you have a traumatic birth or a bad pregnancy? Are you scared of becomming preganant again? In this case I would say a counsellor would be best placed to help you.

If your up-bringing was religious this might have some bearing no your feelings and agin a counsellor will help you get to the bottom of this.

Or it could be just that now the first passion of being married has given way to living with your husband that you just aren't sexually compatible and that has made you feel negative about sex. Does he only kiss you when he wants sex for instance? Is he loving at other times? If this sounds more like the root of the problem then you need a marraige guidance counsellor (in the UK try Relate).

Funny how dads think that their little girls shouldn't have and enjoy sex with anyone completely forgetting that the women they enjoy having sex with (even your mum) are someone's daughters too!

Good luck with getting the right professional adivice.

Answer 4

at 24, and married 2 years already, with a child, is a lot!
One, is a difficult, time consuming age. Sex, may have seemed like the cause of this, and so there's a mind connection, not wanting it to happen again...also, hormones, do not just go mad after birth, the first 5 years of this new life, are an adjustment.
It may simply be, you dont fancy your man, and feel trapped, your body is rebelling, before your mind realises this. This is all natural, and has to be worked through. You may be 24, but with a strict upbringing, still a teen, and then there will be a felling of missing out, natural promiscuous feelings, revealed in hate toward your man, and general hate of sex, as its a denial thing.
you are not, un normal.

Answer 5

Go see a therapist. There may be deep rooted problems there. Sex is the most natural, beutiful thing between two people who love each other. You don't know what you are missing! I too had the same prob. a few years ago. It's quite normal, especially after kids. Talk to your hubby about it and see if he will go see someone with you, if not, go on your own. Also, your hormones could be in-balanced, which also causes these feelings. Talk to your GP. There is medication out there that can get your hormones racing again! Do yourself a favour and just try. I can't imagine going without it since I got help!

Answer 6

I really feel for you , it sounds like having the baby really took it's toll on you. After I had my first baby I felt the same I think it is because you put all of your energy into being a mother that everything else seems insignificant.I think you need to go and see your doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling as it has already been a year and you still feel this way otherwise the longer you stay in this situation the harder it will be to get out of it.I wish you the best of luck as I know it is very difficult to see yourself as a sexual person again but you can get help, the fact that you have a strict father has distorted your thoughts about enjoying men , I hope it all works out for you.........

Answer 7

I'm presuming from the phrasing in your question that previous to becoming a Mother you enjoyed sex. And now after giving birth and becoming a Mother you no longer want sex, and find it repulsive.

You probably have Post Natal Depression, you need to see your Doctor with regards to this, Post Natal Depressin is very serious, and manifests in different ways. One way being a repulsion to sex, and pushing ones partner away. A Doctor will look into the best way to treat your depression. I feel for you. You need to let your Husband know how you feel, he probably feels very confused and isolated at the moment. Together you can work through this and make your relationship stronger.

Answer 8

I feel terrible for you, Sweetie! I think that you need to look into getting some counseling. There is obviously an underlying issue that is making you feel "dirty" when you make love. Sex is a natural act, something that should be comforting and enjoyable, but it sounds like it is the opposite for you. Have you always felt this way about sex? Is there anything you can pinpoint about when you did start to feel this way...maybe something you and your husband did in bed that really turned you off? Anyway, you really NEED to go get some professional help for this, because it's not good for your marriage and it's definately not healthy for you! Good luck!

Answer 9

I am 23 and went and still going through the same thing, After I had me first child I hated the thought of sex, I hated him kissing me and touching me, I pushed him away and I think it was due to postpartum depression or just plain depression. Now all men arent like this but my husband did cheat on me 11months ago. I really beleive him though when he said he regreted it, I dont know if the thought of losing him scared me or what but it snapped me out of it, I am not saying to let him in cheat on you but just think of what it would mean to you if he did. Let him love you and just try to get into it. Try to Spice things up. One thing I just learned recently is that Birth Control pills made me be depressed, I have been off them for one month and i feel like a diffrent person. I am no longer tired and have more energy.

Answer 10

Get therapy fast! See your medical doctor - you are probably experiencing a form of post-partum depression. That doesn't necessarily mean you need to go onto anti-depressants or medications but you will experience some relief just from knowing that it is a common occurrence and that you are not alone. It could also be that you are having problems separating your role as mom from that of wife. This happens very often to new moms - they go into total mom mode overdrive and sex becomes dirty and disgusting to them. You have to bring both roles together, through therapy, and you will be a much happier person (as will your hubby).

Answer 11

It's a combination of your father's negativeness of guy friends. He has taught you that guys are only about sex.
You have to be comfortable to enjoy sex. Live in general can get you so up tight that sex becomes a chore instead of a pleasure.
Sex is not a bad thing. It will take you many years of work AFTER you relize this. You will have to watch your thoughts every second of every day to correct your thinking of sex.
Hopefully, your husband is sensitive enough to help you work thru this. I'm not a fan of this but...maybe you could allow him to have a fling just to give him a release somewhere.
Make sure he knows all of the things you said above. BE CLEAR about it...Guys can't mind read. He will take it negatively if you don't tell him how you feel.