My husband and I will be married 11 years in November. We are Best Friends with out a doudt, although it feels like I am living with my bestfriend (like roommates) There is no passion he have never "made love" we just have sex. And I am wondering is a good marriage about being best friends? Him and i have both come from broken families so we really don't have anything to go by, however we do feel there is something missing. Just wondering if anyone out there with a good marriage can help us out here.
Thanks
2006-10-23 11:46:40 · 17 answers · asked by catzbak1104 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay don't get me wrong, our sex life is GREAT there is just no passion, intamacy, and such.. not just in the bedrrom but also in our life. There isn't that feeling of a relationship with a spouse, or a lover. It is more of a relationship with my best friend. But then I don't know if that is enough.
2006-10-23 13:13:20 · update #1
well i don't have the best marriage, but yeah i think you need to be friends too, but there are times when you don't want a friend you want a husband it sounds like maybe you guys need more communication as husband and wife
2006-10-23 12:12:07 · answer #1 · answered by BROWNLYN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not just about sex. There are so many other things that make a marriage. Like companionship, affection, and being best friends is a wonderful thing. Its great to be able to communicate with someone like that. Yes, if u feel like u need something different maybe u should try sexy lingerie or watching an adult video with him or maybe even using a toy in front of him this might spice things up a bit. Maybe u could get a makeover and that will help u feel better and it will be something a little different for him as well.
2006-10-23 12:58:32 · answer #2 · answered by Laura J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is important in a relationship, maybe you just need some things to spice it up a bit. Sex can become boring after a few years of marriage. Buy toys, or games, or chocolate... Try to make it fun, silly, naughty... Spice it up. As for being such good friends, you are old and gray and have not had passion for many years, does sex sound like something you want or a good companion to sleep with?
2006-10-23 11:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right...and right. Marriage is about being best friends, but if you feel something is missing, then you need to talk about it. My husband and I have a fantastic marriage, we are best friends, but we've had our bumps along the way too. Whenever we feel like our bedroom habits are becoming....boring, we try something new. If you are both still feeling shy about having some fun in the sack, or you maybe feel a bit self-conscious about getting passionate, then that's something you can get over by communicating and trusting each other. We didn't always have that level of communication, but we both put ourselves out there by being really honest about what we wanted, and it has paid off. Sometimes even online tests and quizzes can help you get started in getting to know each other better and getting to know your fantasies. Good luck! :)
2006-10-23 12:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The basis has to be friendship... your foundation has to be more than sex... but sex is an important part of it too. Date each other again... by that I mean take each other out, do things together, get reaquainted, watch sexy movies together, go to dinner or shopping together. Maybe marriage counseling could help, as you say you've never "made love" with him just "sex". There are also games you can play like, touch one another but not "down there":just everywhere else... make a rule that the first night thats all the farther you can go... then the second night make out... the third night get to second base... let it go on like that til you cant stand it anymore... Or make a cd of romantic love songs, light candles, set a romantic mood...
Good luck!
2006-10-23 11:59:14 · answer #5 · answered by cartmansmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the basic is trust but being best friends with your husband isnt bad but how friendly are yall? Are yall turning into sisters and brothers or is it just a close friendship? I would be better to sit down and just talk about how you feel and he might take it into consideration. It might feel hard but I know you dont wanna be friends for the rest you want a real realationship with him and have passionate sex that seems like this is right. Well I hope I could of helped alittle atleast but I think it will work out you just have to believe.
2006-10-23 11:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by sascheer1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God could be missing!
And as far as the sex part that is the intimacy that God meant for husband and wife so it should definitely be more passionate in order for you both to feel satisfied. Have you asked him to be more passionate? If you and him have such a good relationship it is time to discuss this.
2006-10-23 11:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by brm1981 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sexual relationship is like a dance. You can either step on each other's toes or you can glide gracefully as if your were being guided by some force greater than both of you. It takes practice and experience to dance as if you were one body; it takes understanding, dialogue and time to create sexual unity.
The understanding part of the equation is that men and woman move to the beat of a different drummer and experience pleasure differently. A man becomes sexually aroused more quickly than a woman and is more focused on genital pleasure. A woman needs time and emotional contact in order to experience strong sexual feelings. Both partners need to learn about each other and understand each other's respective needs.
Through dialogue a couple can learn what each other’s needs are and how to meet those needs. There’s no avoiding it. If you want to rehabilitate a dull sexual relationship, you need to tell and show your partner, "I need to be touched here and in this way. This is what turns me on." Also, don’t be afraid to ask your partner what he or she needs.
You want good sex? Be prepared to take the time to make it happen. There are no quick fixes to sexual fulfillment. It takes patience and practice. Commit yourself to do it and I’m certain that you’ll bring passioninto your lives. Good luck and have fun.
2006-10-23 12:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basis for good marriage?
1. Respect
2. Deep, unwaivering trust
3. Loyalty
If this man is your best friend but you both agree something is missing in your sex life - there are many things that can be done to spice things up and bring new appreciation to one another. See a relationship counselor or a sex therapist. Try to set aside time for one another and have fun!
2006-10-23 11:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are also on our second Marriages, if we both learned from the firsts, if we didn't we would not be happy. We have SEX and make love, depends on the mood, You and only you knows when you heart hurts, don't expect him to guess that is where good communication works. A good Marriage is every feeling you feel together a bad Marriage is every feeling you feel alone.....
2006-10-23 11:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by nfgatcer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They always say the grass is not greener on the other side,believe them.I have been married to my husband now for 24yrs.All though my husband is not a great lover,and a great provider,his job takes him away from home weeks at a time.Trust me ,I have so much time on my hands to mess around, I don't.Once upon a time we was going to get a divorce,we split up,he went his way,and I went mines.We stayed apart for about 3 weeks,then we got back together again;and haven't been anywhere since.I LOVE MY HUSBAND DEARLY.All y'all need to do is talk,that's what we did.
2006-10-23 13:10:53 · answer #11 · answered by Kevin B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋