was kinda crowding him, and i know that, and i think i've learned my lesson, but he won't be with me again until he figures his stuff out. We are still really good friends, along with friends with benefits, which believe me is fun, but i still kinda look at him differently when we are together and you... active with each other. I love him more than he'll ever know, and i know he loves me as well, and he told me we'll get back together just not right now, because he has to sort things out. And i completely understand that and i respect his decision. But there's a problem...He's moving to Denver in 3 months to upstart a business, and is leaving me here. And it hurts that he's leaving even though he says he can come see me all the time cause its only a day and a half trip, and i can come see him as well. But since he's moving there even though he's said we still might get back together... it kills me cause that means to me we are most likely not to get back together, i need opinions..
2006-10-23 11:21:46 · 13 answers · asked by mercy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Val if you look at this again email me @ Katie_bug358@yahoo.com... i need to ask you something else...
2006-10-23 11:29:38 · update #1
ok... for everyone saying he's using me for sex... he's not i suggested the friends with benefits until we get back together... becaue i'm horny. And can you be using someone for sex if the other person wants it to?...
2006-10-23 11:33:38 · update #2
All right... I'm not going to have anyone saying that I put her on the back burner, or I'm just using her... First of all I love her. Do I have issues? yes... But I am tryingto work them out... I'm not having sex with anyone, nor do I currently have the wish to. As for being friends with benifits... We do't have sex. Other things? yes. but not sex. I am not using her or leading her on. I just have a lot on my plate right now. Does this make me a bad person that I can't seem to take care of myself at the moment? Because If I can't take care of myself, how will I ever be able to help her? We are broken up yes. Do I plan on getting back together with her? It depends... Yes, I am moving to Colorado. And this isn't going to be easy for me either. But I have to do what I have to do. And it hurts me too... that she hasn't really talked to me a whole lot about the situation... All I want is for her to be happy... That is the most important thing for me because I love her. And you can think that everything I say is BS or whatever bacause what someone else said and it didn't work out. Or you can think that I'm using her or whatever... Because I don't care what you think... People have thought things about me, and assumed things about me... and categorized me as something I'm not, And that... I don't care about. Because no matter whatI say, you're going to think that, and nothing else I say will matter... but the only person that this should really matter to is her.
And she knows that I love her. If being with another person would make her happy, I may be hurt, yes... But I'd still support it because she would be happy... And as I said before... that's the most important thing to me... She has to this date been the most important person in my life, Other than my mom, and she understands that as well. She also know's that there is no way that I can handle all of this and just everything... without seriously crashing and burning... So she's trying to give me space. Going to Colorado, doesn't mean it's the end of things. But at the same time, it's just not going to pick up where everything left off either... Some of our relationship has been the best... And both of us have seen some pretty hard timmes too... And still through everything, I'm here for her... A phone call away... to listen to her, and give her advise... And to try to help her out anyway that I can... Sometimes it's still hard for me... But I'm still there. Becaue I told her that I would be... I promised her that. And I'm not going to break my promise... She is still involved in my life... I'm still involved in hers and we both still love eachother...
I don't know... I'm not going to defend myself anymore... so here I am. take your shot... tell me what a terrible person I am
And tell me how I'm just using the person I love...
How I just use her for sex, when we haven't had sex in more than 6 months...
How I have my cake and eat it too...
Because this is no effing cake walk for me either...
But think whatever you will. Throw your rock at me... I'm used to it...
2006-10-23 19:14:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a guy says he needs a break, it means he needs a break from you. When a guy tells you he wants you to date other people, it means HE wants to date other people. My best guess is that you've known each other since you were teenagers, got married before he went into boot camp, you had your baby while he was gone and now he's recently back from overseas and is a little confused. This happens A LOT with people who go to a war zone where there's combat. Was he sent into action? If he was, then he probably is not the same person he was before he left, and you would do well to get some counseling and find out how best to cope while he figures this stuff out. My thoughts are that he never got the chance to 'sow his wild oats', if you will, because you got married so young ... and now that's what he wants to do. He doesn't want a divorce, but he can't be monogamous, either (at least, he thinks he can't be), so his best solution is taking a break so he can go and see what he finds out there. Were I you, once he's made up his mind, I would insist on protected sex for the first few months, and that you both get tested for STD's immediately after he comes back. If he won't do that for you as a way of protecting you (even if he swears he never did anything with anyone), then you know where you stand. *big hug* and best of luck to you
2016-05-22 02:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie if you are still having sex with him he is getting his cake and eating it too. If you two are broken up, you need to be broken up which means no physical activity. If he really loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you, then that will happen, even if he does move away. Sometimes being apart can make a big difference. So as hard as it may be, stop having sex with him. Good Luck.
2006-10-23 11:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um honey, I heard the same line. He is wanting to go and do his thing and still have fun with you without being attatched to you. Sorry, but my ex husband said the same crap to me, and he was with his current wife while we were still having fun. Maybe you should step back and take a better look at things. Get some close friends opinions on the situation.
2006-10-23 11:26:10 · answer #4 · answered by firey_cowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it comes down to if you are willing to wait, and how long. If you are willing to wait for the one you love, then you must give him the space he's asking for, and don't pressure him. However, if you don't think you can do that, or if you begin to feel like he's stringing you along or using you for sex, then you have to cut yourself loose.
Everything happens for a reason.
2006-10-23 11:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oral Sex to completion, and not just in bed, outdoors, in the car movies, in front of a porno at home, basically anywhere he wants it, Anal sex, if you are not doing it...get with it or someone will and you will lose him, BDSM, public sex, suggest dogging...loads of sites on the net..basically a happy man does not stray.give him sex whenver and wherever he wants xxxx you will be his Queen I promise you....oh! Ignore the religious nutters and fat puritan bitter singletons that post and the nerdy guys..they are creepy xx
2006-10-23 11:25:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been put on the back burner and only time will tell if you will be moved forward again. Just leave things as is don't push and time will tell.
2006-10-23 11:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to be that way, then he should be that way without getting sex from you, if he really loves you, then wait till he is committed to you again, if not then don't let him use you
2006-10-23 11:28:57 · answer #8 · answered by rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like the others said, he is getting his cake and eating it too. dont let him make a fool of you and use you. i have been there before and its not cool to allow this to happen to you. at this point, i would question if i was ready to deal with this just to have him in your life.
2006-10-23 12:00:13 · answer #9 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what exactly to say. But if you need a friend. I can be one to you. Let me know.
2006-10-23 11:26:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋