ok, wife and i did a little swapping w/ a couple ,who are now still friends, but I wasn't as attracted to the woman as she was to the husband. We stopped seeing them swapping, but my wife continued to talk w/ him, behind my back, and contuinued to lie about it when i would ask her if in fact she was. I found out a month later while paying the phone bill and seeing his number. she would call him sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. how should i react, she said it was nothing.????
2006-10-23 10:52:02 · 15 answers · asked by m t 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ask her if there is anything going on between the 2 of them. 3-4 times a day seems way more than just friends.
I hate to say it but when you swap partners, things like this was going to be inevitable. You really should not of even thought about the idea in the first place
2006-10-23 10:55:18 · answer #1 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was not dicussing the swap thing completely and relializing the complications that may arise from this. You were probably thinking "allright I may get to see my wife with another woman & I can get it on it too!!" Sorry dude that's not how it works. If you choose to swap you have to be prepared for anything that may happen, even the chance your partner may stray...remember that door has been opened now.
So what to do...talk to her about it. Don't freak out, if you want her in your life listen to why she feels she has to hide this from you. Maybe she has found her "bi" side & is actually meeting up with the other wife...who knows there are many possibilities.
And maybe she has found a kindred soul to share her thoughts about the whole "swap" issue. Not like you can discuss it with your Mother or best friend. So be upfront, let her know you are hurt and why.
Good Luck to you!!
2006-10-23 18:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask for rain and then complain about how wet it is... This scenario has got to have crossed your mind before you swapped. Your wife found another man attractive. What's worst is she doesn't have to picture what he's like in bed. She already knows. And she liked it. And still likes it. And wants it again.
If this bothers you, you should have thought about it before swapping.
2006-10-23 17:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by makawao_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont understand open marriages but if you can watch another man have sex with her then I cant imagine her talking to him should bother you. I get that its probably the fact that it was done behind your back that bothered you and her lying about it but Ive always said if a couple wants an open marriage there is something wrong with the marriage to begin with. Its ironic isn't it ? Open marriage and they still cheat. Damn this world.
2006-10-23 17:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three or four times a day!? There's something going on there. And it's probably not "nothing." Looks like the swapping backfired on you. In othe words, yes, be mad.
2006-10-23 17:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooohhh thats a tough one. Part of me wants to say that you allowed her to be with another man........your bad.
The other part of me wants to say that IF she continued
to talk to the man behind your back.......chances are they are
still sleeping together...which means YES she is lying to you.
Are you sleeping with anyone other than your wife?? If not,
then you need to talk to her and tell her you aren't stupid...
she is clearly talking to this guy 3-4 times a day and that
really only means one thing.
See what her reaction is and go from there. If this was a one or two time swap and you both decided to stop then she should be respectful of that.......just as you should.
I say STOP SWAPPING and learn to please each other!!
If you two aren't able to satify each other sexually....then maybe
you need to call it quits.
Just my opinion.
2006-10-23 17:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call A.D.A.M. that is the american divorce association for men...you are gonna need it...and then get counseling so you can learn that swapping is a really stupid idea for a married couple for this exact reason. He must have given it to her a little better...
2006-10-23 17:54:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't respect the fact that you no longer want her to talk to him...threaten divorce and see what happens. That's why you don't engage in other people for this reason.
2006-10-25 14:20:52 · answer #8 · answered by shyone911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess these are the consequence of allowing another man to screw your wife.... she likes it. Be mad if you think it will help, but your marriage isn't really about "love, honor and cherish" and "forsaking all others", is it?
2006-10-23 17:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that it isn't 'nothing'.
Guess the reality isn't as good as the fantasy after all
Be mad, and sort it out or end it with your wife.
2006-10-23 18:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by DMar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋