my wife has a friend in her class that offered her to hang out with him if she needed to get out the house becuase recently i have told her i wanted to seperate but not till march. He told her he goes to church and offered to hang out with him and his church friends. Should i put my foot down on this?
2006-10-23 10:37:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a grip man!!!
I'm amazed you're even still in the house...I would have packed your bags NOW not waited til March....You want out, get the hell out then.
You have no further say in anything she says or does.
2006-10-23 10:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by DMar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your wife asked this question, I'd advise her to not hang out with the man until you're separated, because it can stir up other issues. However, since you asked the question....
You asked for the separation. If so, why don't you leave now? Why wait until March? And what right do you have to put your foot down about anything? You're the one who wants to separate. Your decision is made. She's entitled to make her own friends now. So, yes, it's okay for her to do so.
2006-10-23 10:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! If your splitting up it doesnt matter. And why are you waiting? That doesnt make any sense? If you want to seperate then seperate. I hang out with my "male" friends all the time and im married, my husband is understanding about it and were NOT spliting up. I think you should tell her to leave and have fun!
~Good Luck~
2006-10-23 11:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by armesia_combs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, if you are "planning" a split...you should put this time and effort into saving your marriage. If you are serious about splitting, y'all need to just change the addresses now. If there are children involved you definitely need to try to save it first..but if you've already gone through this step and there is no way to save it...don't put this off...you need to be decisive and move on. Lingering will only make it worse. If she is serious about "hanging out" (what the heck does that mean anyway) with another man...church or not...it's over and act like it and get the new address...yes I know...rent or mortgage...car payments...yes all that will be complicated, but you need to go ahead split those bills and responsibilities up and move on.
2006-10-23 10:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(wiping my eyes from laughing here) Oh honey. Maybe this whole control and "putting your foot down" is the VERY REASON why she's separating from you in the first place! Ever thought about that?
You concern yourself with YOU. Don't try to control her. Don't make her decisions for her. Guess what: SHE IS A COMPETENT HUMAN BEING! She is free and over 21, which means she can make her own decisions, for better or worse. She knows this. Do you? Do you TRUST her enough to make her own decisions, her own friends, to live her own life?
Or are you thinking, somewhere in the back of your mind, that she's just not quite up to the job of making her own decisions, making her own friends, or making her own life so she needs YOUR expertise because she is, ultimately, a woman? because she's YOUR woman?
She's not yours -- she belongs to herself. Her life and her decisions belong to her. She does not exist for you. She exists to be the best person she can be. You exist to be the best person you can be. Together you should help each other. No one needs a back-seat driver for his or her life!
What you're really asking is, am I going to get cuckolded by a guy who seems to be nicer, less controlling and more easygoing? Does she like him more than she likes me, because he's nicer? What if she leaves me for him?
Speaking personally I divorced my first husband because he was controlling and because he tried to "put his foot down" and "keep me under his thumb". I let him play Twister with himself and work himself into knots trying to control me, as I blithely went on with my life, making my own decisions and being myself. Separating and divorcing him was one of the high points of my life. Now I'm married to a wonderful, kind, easygoing, non-controlling man -- much like that church friend of your wife's.
More power to her. Rein in those control issues, son!
Cheers, K -- thank you for the laugh! :))
2006-10-23 10:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by Kate 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well What A Guy you are so giving she has to wait till march to be rid of your sorry *** and to top that you want to put your foot down ..because you may not approve of your wifes friend....your wife needs to take her foot and stick it so far up your sorry *** that it will come out of that big *** mouth of yours I hope your wife and her friend fall in love to a point of ECSTACY.......sureilll
2006-10-23 11:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just sounds like she turned to him for friendship. I mean you told her you want to separate I'm sure that hurt her. He just seems to be a friend for her to lean on thru this time in her life. Why should you put your foot down your the one that obviously doesn't want her anymore.
2006-10-23 10:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you are a fool.
If you are leaving you have NO right to tell her who she can hang out with.
You are the one who decided to bail out. Live with your decision.
2006-10-23 11:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are getting a separation.
You can no longer have ANY say in ANY thing she does.
Your question is absolutely ridiculous.
2006-10-23 10:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is still married to you regardless weather your together or apart, you never know what might cross their mind while spending time together.
2006-10-23 10:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋