My friend has been abuse by her father. What advice should i give her. What can i do. She is 17 now. Can she legally leave her house in the state of MO? This has been happening to her since she was 13 or earlier. She is my bestfriend. Please help!!!
2006-10-23 10:22:19 · 14 answers · asked by Maverick 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
she can get emancipated by the courts- as in she can "divorce" her parents and live with another gaurdian- or she can call the cops have his sorry *** arrested and then live with a guardian as well
2006-10-23 10:24:52 · answer #1 · answered by geom1974 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She can't legally leave her home until she's 18 (I think), but she can try to get emancipated, or she can go to a safehouse for domestic violence (most cities have them, even fairly small ones). The fact is, she's still a minor, so she'll need a guardian working in her best interests. Even though your typical brand of "running away" isn't allowed, she can call a doctor, 911, or a non-emergency police station. She can also tell a counselor at school, a teacher, a minister or other clergyperson, etc. If she tells any of these people, they will get her out immediately.
Since she's a minor, and it's been ongoing abuse (as in, it didn't stop at puberty or anything), she's well within the statute of limitations (a period of time a victim has to come forward and pursue a case) to press charges against her father.
Your friend will need counseling, too. If she goes to a safehouse, she will have to get counseling. If she tells someone and takes steps to move out, press charges, get on with her life, they will encourage her (at the least) to seek counseling to deal with this.
It's great that you, as her friend, want to do something, but the most important two things you can do for her are to be by her side encouraging her, and get her to talk to someone who can actually help her in some very real ways (moving out, working through the court system, getting counseling, etc.) Even as her best friend, you aren't equipped to handle something of this magnitude, and really, neither is she.
You don't say what kind of abuse it is, but if it's physical or sexual, and you honestly fear for her physical safety, maybe you should tell your parents or a teacher. That may, at least, get the ball rolling. I think it would be along the lines of a Good Samaritan Law, which means that if you know of a crime being committed, and you do nothing, then you are guilty of a crime as well. However, situations like this are touchy and difficult to work through, and I really think your best bet would be to encourage her to come forward, and if she won't, you talk to your parents or a teacher, someone else who can at least get some investigations started.
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, call Child Protective Services (it goes by various terms in various states). You can leave an anonymous phone message, but I would recommend telling them who you are, so they can follow up (someone called CPS about my son when he was a baby because of how tiny he was, and he wasn't growing, and the guy we talked to told me they generally get the idea that if someone is REALLY serious about their belief that a child is in danger, they would leave a phone number so they can be contacted to asnwer questions, etc., and be helpful in the investigation.)
Best of luck to you, and of course to your friend.
2006-10-23 18:01:17 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know the laws in Mossouri, but in Tx you can legally leave. Does your friend's mom know? She definately needs to tell someone. You should look up the laws on abuse. Is this sexuall abuse or physical abuse? She may be able to press charges. There are probably shelters or something that she could go to in/near your city. Maybe you could let her move in with you until she can get on her own feet. She may want to consider counseling as well. Her father definately needs to be punished. Also, if she is still in highschool she should tell a school counselor or nurse. Maybe you could get advice from your school nurse or counselor if your friend is too scared. Hope some of these ideas will help.
2006-10-23 17:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lesley W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is her mother? Does the mother know?
She needs to go to the police. Maybe she could talk to the nurse or counsellor at school first. It might help if an adult goes with her. But she better be honest with them and be telling the truth. She can not make false accusations against her father just because she might be mad at him for some reason. This is a very serious charge.
Does she have an aunt or other older family member who could go with her? If not, and you are sure she is telling you the truth, then would your parents want to get involved? Do your parents know this girl? What do they think of her?
You need to ask her these questions, and talk to your parents, too. See what they would suggest. They might not want you to get involved either.
Again, if this is really true, your friend is going to need you for support. This is a terrible thing to happen to a child and her father should be charged. Your friend should get some counselling, too, so she will realize she was not to blame.
So please talk to your parents, and encourage your friend to find an adult to go with her to talk to someone at school. If your school is small and there is no counsellor there to talk to, maybe she could talk to a teacher she likes. If not, then she should go to Child Protection Services, or whatever it's called where you live.
Thank you for being a good friend to her and wanting to help.
2006-10-23 17:50:42 · answer #4 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a shelter. Also take her to a police station. But you can't force her. Talk to her about it. But let her do the talking. See how she feels about everything. If she doesn't want to leave (most likely because she's too scared) you need to take matters into your own hands. contact the police. Beware, this may upset her and you can lose a friend over this. However, I do believe that at 17, she can leave her parents. I believe that that has to go through the courts though. Contact the police and shelters and ask gather up all the info you can from them on such a case! good luck! :(
2006-10-23 17:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about getting emancipated--that is a legal procedure that "divorces" her from her parents. See if there is a trusted family member she can stay with during the process. Also, urge her to call the police or child protective services.
2006-10-23 17:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by justatouchoflovealittlebit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a few different things she can do. She could go to the police, a social service agency in her area, a women's shelter, she could get help from her school, she could contact RAINN or another organization that will connect her with resources in her area for victims of domestic violence.
2006-10-23 17:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and social services. Both of these agencies can remove her from the house and possibly help her to emancipate.
2006-10-23 17:24:46 · answer #8 · answered by TLBFH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it all really depends on how she feels. if she wants the abuse to stop, she can file a report. or better yet, leave. try persuading her to get conseling, and maybe move in with a friend. make sure she feels independant but at the same time, not alone.
2006-10-23 17:26:55 · answer #9 · answered by girllll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child Protection Services are in most states. Call them now (confidentially)! they will explain clearly what can be done.
2006-10-23 17:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋