my boyfriend and I have been going out for 9-10 months. He smokes weed and it bothered me the whole time. but now things are getting pretty serious and I want him to stop. However, he says hes not going to stop until I have sex with him ( i want to stay a virgin till I'm married) I think its totally unfair and we are comparing two totally different things. Do you think I have a good reason to be pissed off? What should I do?
2006-10-23 10:04:39 · 23 answers · asked by tabatha1333 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
other than this problem we get along fine and have almost everything in common and hes very sweet.
2006-10-23 10:07:17 · update #1
I glanced at your Q. & A. page. You are having a major problem with this. I am sure you are not going to listen to me or anyone else, but I will try anyway.
You must be 15 or 16?( Like I said, I didn't go into the detail)You are on the verge of making the biggest mistake you will make in your life if you have sex with this guy. Any person that puts you in the situation he has certainly doesn't love you. He doesn't know what love is yet. He is using you and he will dump you. Have sex with him and he will come up with an excuse to break up with you and whatever self esteem you do have will be in the toilet.
If only you young girls would listen to experience. Please think about this. Get on with your life, go to school, get your education, get out on your own and create a great life. Don't go the single mother route or marry a creep like this because you get pregnant. This is something you will live with your entire life. And that is one hell of a long time, sister !!
2006-10-23 10:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a totally good reason to be pissed off! If he's pressuring you to have sex by saying that he'll stop smoking he is so not cool. You are comparing two totally different things, he's just using it as an excuse. I'm not quite sure what you should do but, you shouldn't give in.
2006-10-23 17:08:50 · answer #2 · answered by nik 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your beliefs! He doesn't really love you if he try to pressure you into sex when you obviously want to save that part of you for your wedding day, which is very admirable! If he really loves you he will not pressure you into having sex. If you do not like the pot smoking, he will probably not quit. If you give in, he will probably break up with you after he gets what he wants and then your virginity is gone for ever and you cannot get it back! I feel that you should find someone who doesn't smoke weed and has the same morals that you do! I wish I had saved myself for my husband like i wanted to do, but my first true love(so I thought) convinced me to give him my virginity and now I regret it! You are doing the right thing! Be strong stick to your convictions!
2006-10-23 17:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by sabrina c 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has absolutely no intention of giving up pot, so he's asking you to do something that you have no intention of doing. This lets him off the hook in his mind. Sure, he'd like to have sex, but having sex is less important to him than not having to give up pot.
You don't say how old you two are, but if you are still teens, just break it off. It'll be a long while before he's ready to stop smoking weed, if ever.
Good Luck!
2006-10-23 17:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by pessimoptimist 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is very sweet you say?
Except the part where he wants you to have sex with him....and he is saying only when you do?...will he stop smoking weed.?
First if you are still a virgin............STAY THAT WAY.
Second..............NEVER let any guy say he will do something , if you will let him have his own way...?
Be mistake...because that sets the mark for always.
If you were my daughter........I would say ....you do not have a winner! with this guy.
Sweet or not.And more than likely, you have not been out with other guys, who are the real deal.
Its your life.....but once you give this weed smoking guy, who sounds like a spoilt brat...his way...be prepared to give him everything else, he wants....You my dear are just a 'pawn in his lies-and selfish world'...............good luck.
2006-10-23 17:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a very good reason to be pissed off, and you shouldn't sleep with him. By the way, he wont stop cos you've had sex with him. He shouldn't be bringing the two together. He should just tell you No if he cant give it up.
2006-10-23 17:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by sleepyme 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
first of all,getting sex would not resolve the adiction problems. Second of all,if he loves you he would stop that and respect you. Dont be hurted,but I think he doesnt loves you the much you love him,hes not a great decision for youre future:(You have toput a stop to the situation or you will be affected,not just in your heart,even the addiction can get you,and thats not a pretty final:|
2006-10-23 17:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by boricua-honda 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u have a DAMN GOOD reason to be pissed. he shouldnt even ask that of u and he wouldnt if he really cared for u. u dont have to have sex w/someone to get them to do things for u. just be honest and if he says that again or doesnt stop smoking then he isnt the one for u. u should find some one that will care for u and respect u.
2006-10-23 17:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by emilybailey1980 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love is a decision of the will. You will the highest and best thing
for the sake of the be-love. One sure way to find out if he loves you or not. Is he willing to Quit Smoking period and is he willing to abstain from sex until you are married. If not throw him back,
there are plenty of fish in the sea. This may be difficult but it will be best for you in the long run. You are to be commended for you vow of chastity. God bless
2006-10-23 17:15:53 · answer #9 · answered by Gods child 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good for you girl. You have every right to stick to your guns. He is comparing apples to oranges. He is making a decision that could be detrimental to his success, marriage, health, productivity and your life if everything would fall apart once your married. You need to know before a marriage would happen that he has quit.
You are making a good a tough moral decision that is hard to stick to now days. I commend you on your decision.
2006-10-23 17:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by roxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋