I have been married for 1 year and I sometimes feel regret. I fought to make this man believe he should marry me and now I feel that he also regrets marrying me. I really am confused about the whole situation. I have tried my best to make things work. There are good days but it seems that there are more bad.
2006-10-23 09:36:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sit down and talk to him. Then decide together what you both want to do.
2006-10-23 10:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by Clever1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your initial question, my short answer is you should take as long as you think you need to make the decision for yourself.
Now for the 2nd part, I am responding to the details you added.
1st, you don't MAKE anybody do something that they wouldn't want to do, unless you utilized some form of torture, or mind control. However, you may have nagged him about marriage so much, that he finally decided to marry you in the hopes that it would shut you up, & now he should be angry at himself for making this choice, but I'll bet he's somehow taking his anger out on you.
You said you tried to make things work, but if by that you mean that you state how you want things to work in the marriage, & he's supposed to listen to you & conform, I can promise you that you will never get it to work.
You two are caught in an endless cycle of you squawking about your needs, & he does what he feels he needs to do to keep you quiet, & then he passive/agressively vents his anger on you.
If you end this relationship, I highly recommend that you take a look at your role in this one & see if you can find some areas you could make some changes before you start a new one.
2006-10-23 09:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl I know what your talking about. I been married for 7 years and two children. I thought I had the worst communicator (husband) in the world. It turned out he may not have communicated much, but he was always listening. One day sat down and a heart to heart and blood to blood talked and we said things and yelled things but in the end we understood each others feelings. It's something i suggest to everyone I know. Have you talked with your husband about your feelings? Really really talked? You married this man cause you loved him. Have those feelings really changed in one year? nah!
2006-10-23 09:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by lovebrin05@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been dating since we were 13 years old (we are both 29) Our first year of marriage was one of the most difficult years in our relationship, because we have never lived with each other. The thing is, you are getting used to living with another person and getting used to being a wife... both are very difficult. It's called the adjustment period. It is NORMAL. Try to work on your relationship and yourself. It's all about compromise and hard work... GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-23 09:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by iluvafrica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had to FIGHT and MAKE him marry you - why did you expect a different outcome? Sounds like both of you are wasting your time. When the two people are in a mutually loving and respectful relationship, no one has to fight for anything, or make the other person do anything. Learn your lessons, and find a person who *truly* wants to be with you.
2006-10-23 09:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you didn't finish crushing his free will.
I say continue until he's a shell of man and then leave him because he isn't man enough for you.
OR
Talk to him. If he doesn't want to be married either that would make things easier. Remember a you don't need to agree to get a divorce. It only takes one to file.
2006-10-23 10:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had to force him to marry you, then the marriage is not real. Why would you do that? How sad and pathetic. You basically tricked him into marrying you and now you're miserable. You brought this on yourself.
2006-10-23 09:41:30 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first year of marriage is HARD! You both have to decide how important it is to stay together. If it is important to you both, then try marriage counseling or someone unbias you can both talk to. Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 09:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by mommyuv2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not about fighting... you pressured him into marriage and now its falling appart... Do not blame yourself or him... just move on and try to remain friends... Good luck
2006-10-23 09:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by V L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you need and as long as your partner allows you to take. What seems to be the problem?
2006-10-23 09:40:44 · answer #10 · answered by It's a secret 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋