My boyfriend is 36 and I am 22. As big as the age difference seems, we are in love and have been together for 6 months. He's been divorced for 5 years and now his ex-wife told him that she wants him back and she doesn't understand what I have at 22 years old that she doesn't. He told her that I love him unconditionally, don't argue with him about everything and I don't resort to violence. (which are all true) These are all factors why he left her in the first place. After he told me this, I stupidly said that if he ever found his feelings for her again, I'd completely understand. He began to get emotional and said that it would never happen and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. The only thing that he got out of his relationship with his ex was physical and mental abuse. I've been in a relationship before where bf said the same thing about his ex-gf and they did get back together and they are now married. Should I worry about anything or am I just being parinoid?
2006-10-23 08:31:36 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You said the right thing to him. You showed him how real and pure your love for him is. Once again you showed him why he picked you over her.
Your previous experience is related to the cycle of abuse. Usually the abuser makes the victim feel like they will not commit the abuse again and then promptly repeats the abuse after the relationship has rekindled.
It sounds like the guy that you are with is committed to you and sees the light. That is to say that he sees why his past relationship was no good. I do not think you have anything to worry about. Just be there for him and continue to show him why he picked you over her.
Take care,
Troy
2006-10-23 08:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. My boyfriend and I are 14 years apart ( I am younger). He has an ex wife and a child with her. I struggled a lot in the beginning of our relationship thinking that he would go back to her because she wanted him back and they had a child together. Eventually I let it go and it was the best thing that I ever did. If he wanted to go back to her he would have done it already. He made his choice by being with you. Now all you have to do is love him and enjoy your time together and see where the relationship goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years and are talking about getting married. Let it go and enjoy your relationship. You won't regret it.
2006-10-23 08:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont expect patterns from two different guys. first off if he really spent the time to divorce her, odds are he wont get back with her. but dont go right away with the whole, spend the rest of my life with u deal. he just found out what real love is probably so give him time to make sure ur the real deal, cuz its always hard to tell no matter how much u want to believe one thing. just dont end up in the same possition that u need to get a divorce. thats my best advice to give. and dont worry about her, she sounds long gone.
2006-10-23 08:42:05 · answer #3 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you tell him that you understand if he has feelings for her ? I think she is trying to get back with him and you gotta be careful . I am not sure if he loves you as much as you love him because I never meet you guys . But I can tell , Love is a very strong thing .So you should not be worried if the love is there. Try to be honest with yourself. Good luck
2006-10-23 09:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your right keep your guards up it will be easy for them to hook up because they have been together already in the past. Its going to be a challenge for her now but people never change yeah for a moment but there true colors always come out.
2006-10-23 08:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by John A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are worried. Go and "fight" for him.. Be attentive to his needs in and out of the bedroom. Make him feel he is special to you
2006-10-23 08:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by mrdjj 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he goes back to a violent relationship, he wants it. I wouldn't be worried unless he starts acting shady.
2006-10-23 08:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it. Just make sure you keep the communication lines open.
2006-10-23 08:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a question no one can really answer for you. good luck. i suppose it depends on what he feels in his heart. if this woman was really so bad i dont see why he would want to go back to her.
2006-10-23 08:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone closer to your age that has never been married before. Why go through all that baggage.
2006-10-23 08:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋