back I came to know that my wife had developed a friendship with somebody,she used to call him 10 to 15 times a day for hours and used to send tens of messages everyday,this I came to know when I enquired her cell phone records.She went to movies with him. She used to email me everyday detailing everything accept about this person. Now when I confronted her with details she just ignored everything saying it was just friendship nothing else but this reply hasn't been able to give me peace of mind though its over 6 months. We are parents of 2 kids and I want them to have best of everything so we are going to stay together for sure but I am completely clueless for myself. One important thing which I forgot to mention that I had told my wife that I didn't like her talking to him(though she spoke to him just once in front of me) when I visited home for 5 days during my assignment. Now I constantly feel that I have lost that magnet which I had for her. Will anybody show me some light please?
2006-10-23 08:04:38 · 14 answers · asked by toppopsy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I will put it this way. My ex wife, yea I said ex wife. Did the same thing to me, I mean the samething. The phone calls and the movies. He was just a freind until 2 weeks after I divorced her then they got married. I hope she is happy b/c I know I am now. I don't want someone like that. You lose everything you every had for that person. I wish you the best. She is cheating on you wether you believe it or not. You dont spend that much time with a freind when you are married. Trust me. It has been a year since my divorce and I am getting married next weekend to a wonderful woman that went through the same thing. Life goes on and so far mine has been alot better than before. Good luck bro in what ever you do but don't be a door mat for ANYONE.
we also have 2 kids together. They have done pretty good about it all. Just show them you love them and split the time up between them if you can. They need both parents.
2006-10-23 08:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by tenndadof2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is apparent you want the family to stay together. Well...take some time off from work. ..a vacation...say for three days or a week..and then spent this time, renewing your devotion to wife an family. Do the things you did when you were so in love. Assure her that you love her all the more and that you will always be there. Do not be confrontational as this will only bring her farther away from you. Your wife may have just missed your company. If she is into an affair, she would think twice if you show you still care for her deeply. If she is not , then nothing is lost, you have spent the much needed - quality time with your family.
2006-10-24 00:25:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman talking to another man 10 to 15 times on the cellphone and sending 10 messages daily and seeing movies with him in the absence of her husband, doesn't appear to be 'just friendship'. All the more, after you disapproved of your wife's association with this man. I agree with you that it is not at all a satisfactory reply from your wife. I don't want to plant suspicions in your mind, but these are the things of which you have material records. Could there possibly be things of which there is no record? May be not. But it is possible all the same.
You possibly know best what caused such deviant behaviour on her part. But she does owe you a proper explanation all the same. Be sure to get it. If she doesn't do it anymore, and is remorseful, you may excuse her once in a lifetime mistake and allow her to lead the life she lead with you previously. And all this for the sake of your children and peace in the family. Even then, regaining 'the magnet' would be difficult for you, unless she makes an extra effort.
But if she continues to philander, divorce is the best way out.
2006-10-23 09:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i would like to say that did u ever imagine b4 that u were out of the country for almost a half of the year, being a married woman spending six months without husband means alot. may b ur job is more imp, but if u got married someone then, it means u have some resposibilites towards her. either u should take her along with u(which is difficult as u r hvng 2 kids) or u can try 2 change ur current job to a suitable one.
Now, first u have to find out few things - whatever happened, was a result of ur busy schedule, it was just a attraction or she seriously loves him, is she feeling guilt about her, if this is the case then i think u should forgive her, give her a chance, try to reload that love in ur relationship, that way u can save ur children's life also. afterall what they have done wrong, why they should pay for this. i know its not easy to forgive, but we should try to forgive each other as afterall we all r human beings, we can make a mistake-you too. Always try to find a solution instead of give up.
If she doesn't wanna continue then thats a different case, and consult with a good lawyer.
2006-10-23 09:00:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, I am sure that everyone here at Yahoo Answers are giving you they best advice. However, I sincerely believe that you need professional advice. On the face of it people will jump to the conclusion that your wife is having an affair and advice you accordingly. How can anyone make judgments without hearing your wife’s side of the story??? Perhaps you should remember: -
1.Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
2.Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
3.It takes two hands to clap.
4.There is no smoke without a fire
2006-10-23 08:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all do not take this lightly.ok. and now the problem is this she didn,t tell u bec its not a good or healty relation .its very bad in our society .u told u have 2 kids .first u should ask her where is the problem i know u will not like her no more .but when u see u r kids .u will think what will happen if i left her.u should keep u r eyes on her .don,t leave her free. if u have u r father or mother bring one of them at u r home .i can,t tell u leave her bec i have same problem .i m going to divorce her. i have also 2 kids 1boy 1 girl.but i can,t tolrate thats why next month i m going to file divorce and coustedy 4 the kids . think about u r kids first , then do some thing..................................
2006-10-23 08:17:33 · answer #6 · answered by stranger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well it sounds as if you're gone too much and your wife was seeking companionship. Maybe it was nothing, but she should have sticken to her g/f's or something and not another man. That's wrong of her. She should tell you what happened. She owes you at least that. Are you giving her reason to believe you're cheating? If not, then you guys need to sit down and be honest. If you can't work out your differences/lifestyles/careers, and you're staying together for the sake of your kids....they will not be happy. Don't do that. They will grow up and see that their parents are truly not happy. That will make them unhappy.
2006-10-23 08:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry that this happened to you. :( All I can say is just fallow your heart. I think that you really have a big heart for staying with her because of your kids. But make sure that your going to be happy too. Also, if you really want to find out more information try talking to your wife again and if that doesn't work, try to get that guys phone # and ask him what went on yourself.
2006-10-23 08:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to say this but could she be having a affair? I could be wrong so don't assume she's having one just b/c I asked ok. If u no longer love her then it might just be for the best. I don't like to give this kind of advice espcialy since u share kids but it sounds like u may be headed to divorce. Sorry to ruin your day but it would be worse to stay together if u 2 don't love eachother. It would hurt the kids too.
2006-10-23 08:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur wife is saying that tis is only friendship then she can be right ,don't worry love ur wife n child more go 4 holiday if possible every thing will be all right. give more attantion to ur wife n childrens . and 4 furure ignore ur long trip like that its bad ur wife need u not money did u get me wt i mean.......never leave alone ur wife n children like this it can be big losss.
2006-10-23 08:19:21 · answer #10 · answered by jagrati 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋