Is it true that more often than not you cheat just for the thrill of it, you're not getting something at home, whatever other reasons are out there and that you have no intentions of leaving your wife or hurting her with the truth? And can you honestly carry on with this affair and still go home to your wife everyday and act like she is the only woman for you and still lead a normal family life? Almost like having a "split personality"? The reason i ask, is cuz i have recently found things that suggest my husband is having an affair, but, the way he treats me, you'd swear we were newlyweds. Just curious if cheating men can really live 2 separate lives? And in defense of the good guys, yes, i know women cheat, too, but that is not my situation, I am not married to a woman.
2006-10-23 07:56:47 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe you should have married a woman...that could have been hot...
2006-10-23 07:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard I know to live with the fear of a cheating mate. Men cheat for many reasons. Some people think it's a deep programed bio thing to "spread your seed as far as you can". Others is the thrill...other it's simply sex.
Speaking of sex...I don't care who you are....angeolina jollie, diane lane or paris hilton....when you're with them long enough the physical feeling of the new sex leaves. But hopefully, if you have chosen you mate wisely, it is replaced by a longer enduring love that will transend the need for "thrill" first time like sex.
Women do cheat as well and our society has fostered the feeling of "immediate gratification" in just about everything. When mates feel this immediate gratification is gone they think that the meaning leaves from the relationship...so it's time to move on and the courts have made that ever so easy (and for the woman very profitable).
Do I have an answer......nope...sorry. I don't cheat but I have been through many life experiences and have hopefull learned from them. If you have a good relationship with your husband then sit him down and ask him point blank about the potential affair....it just might be a jealous friend or enemy of you or your husband...who knows...but the asking of the question just might shake him up enough to bring him back to reality if he is looking at the wrong things.
Our biggest enemy is "unmet demand"". Make sure you are answering the mail in all departments (including sex). You don't want to make him (or yourself) a target for a hostile takeover. Feeling that your mate is cheating can set the stage for you to cheat as well...it happens frequently. Get resolution as quickly as you can.
Good luck
2006-10-23 08:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by hoyhoydc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is yes. Its simple really. Its the same as how a person would act differently at church than they would at a bar. Deep down your husband probably really does love you more than anyone else, but the reason he is cheating could be the most complicated reason of all. He may not even know why he is cheating or he may know exactly why it just depends on what is going on in his mind. Try as you might you may never know why. There is probably something that he wants from your relationship and you either refuse to give it or he is afraid to ask for it. Most likely it has to do with sex or something like that, IE he wants you to dress sexier. Really the best way to find out is to be open and pay attention to what he is saying and what he isn't saying. Most of the info you are looking for is right in front of you you just have to be willing to accept what its telling you. Be very frank with him and ask him what you want to know but don't be confrontational it is just easier that way. It may take a while but you most likely will find out what you want to know
2006-10-23 08:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by logisticswizard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes men can definitely live two separate lives. I was with someone for 3 years and I saw signs of cheating, but he also treated me well, but later found out he really was cheating. I asked him why he didnt just leave me or atleast be up front and tell me and he said that everyone does it atleast once, it was something he had to get out of his system and it wasnt that big of a deal since he didnt really care about her ( which is BS). Also, his father cheated on his mother so I can of see why he doesnt see it as a serious matter because of the male influence he has in his life ( not that it is an excuse) so the answer to your question is yes.
2006-10-23 08:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by aaaah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth of the matter is anyone can lead a double life. I am happily engaged to a man I love, but I keep my "buddies" on the side. Keebler, you are incorrect to say that women must have an emoional connection, many times they cheat the same reason men do, for variety.
But in answer to the original question, it is simply yes, double lives are easy. It is very easy to cover tracks and still treat your partner as if you had never cheated.
2006-10-23 08:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by mandi_rach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe some guys cheat just because it is in their nature to do so. It can be an ego thing - wife could be the sweetest, hottest thing around but if he can get someone else to look at him it stokes his ego. He has no intention of leaving what he has at home. And yes men are extremely good at putting on a "split personality" face - they do it at work and they do it socially so why not at home. He does care ALOT about you - he just wants adoration from other places too ....
2006-10-23 08:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by piano nerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out for sure and if he is, divorce him.
As far as why men cheat... the #1 reason is that the wife is lame in bed or doesn't want sex...
A few men that I know who cheat do so for the thrill of it.
I cheated after my wife did and it did nothing for me. I just wanted someone to be close to and get wild with... yes it is possible for a man to be a wild sex animal and still consider it a bonding thing.
2006-10-23 09:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by Big_D_4fun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion most men who cheat do it for only two reasons.
1. There is a woman somewhere in their life that is willing to knock boots. 2. There are somethings he likes or wants to try that the Mrs. just won't get on broad with. I have a friend who cheated on his wife because she would not perform oral sex... it started out that he just found a lady who would do this for him. Then, it led to a full relationship and affair. He got caught and his wife took him back... she still won't do the deed... and he will cheat again.
2006-10-23 08:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as the "other woman" let me tell you even if he tells u it is for the thrill that is not what he is telling her and yes it is possible to lead a normal life especially if the other woman is aware of everything
i have stood in a store with my lover and his family all the while knowing just hours before we were together -- its tough and i wouldn't walk that path if i didn't have to but some things are just hard to walk away from
i have gone as far as telling him what to order his wife etc. just to keep her from questioning him when we have plans so no matter what the man on here says because i have seen the lies trust me half of these guys are probably lying
will he ever leave her or you, probably not, does the other woman ever really care yes and no but normally willing to accept what her heart wants but her head knows is wrong
so if you think it more than likely your probably right, but more than likely unless he confesses or gets caught in the act he and she both will not tell you the truth
this answer stinks on my part but is just plain honest
2006-10-23 08:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a man, but can answer from the point of being "the other woman". Yes, men are capable of leading normal lives while having an affair and do it everyday.
2006-10-23 07:59:43 · answer #10 · answered by stacye5398 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your primary relationship is providing you what you think you need than people with look else where. That's human nature. I believe men are better compartmentalizing wife-love&family and the other woman is -sex or whatever else is missing.
You suspect fine. How about you work on you relationship because if you do everything he NEEDS then he wont NEED anyone else. The trick is finding out what his need is.
FYI: Your husband is your partner and LOVER. Sometimes forget that we have to play and treat our spouses as lovers.
P.S.
Don't let your fears of "what might be" destroy what you have.
Happiness takes hard work to get and keep.
2006-10-23 09:11:02 · answer #11 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋