im friends with this girl at my college for a few months now. we have always been close since the first day and i really appreciate her friendship. th thing is she isnt talking to me at the moment. she is ignoring me and i dont know why. so today i plucked up the courage and asked her what was wrong. she said she didnt want to talk to me. i asked her why and she said she had her reasons. so i told her i couldnt solve the problem unless she talked to me about it. she then said again she didnt want to talk to me and she had her reasons. so what could i do? i just had to walk away. it is bothering me so much because i never wanted to lose her as a friend. and it is also goin to be so difficult because we hang around with the same people at college and i dont know how o avoid the awkward moments. i cant not speak to everybody else and not her. i really dont know how to avoid this situation or if i should be avoiding it at all. she is the bossy type girl who wants to be better than everyone
2006-10-23 07:50:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
she is 21 by the way ifanybody needs to know
2006-10-23 08:00:09 · update #1
Do you like her as more than just a mate? Did you try and make a pass at her? If you did, you might've scared her away... she might not be ready for you to be more than just friends. she should still be honest with you and tell you what's bothering her but if you can't change her mind then you will have to try and find out from her friends as they are also your friends.
2006-10-23 07:53:43 · answer #1 · answered by h0axsp1d0r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is a BULLY!!! Basically how dare she just decide to not talk to you and not even have the courtesey to tell you why. And you were friends??? Are you sure about that or was she using you for something? The fact that she won't tell you why she is not talking to you suggests there either isn't one or if there is its a pathetic crap reason and she doesn't want you to know. Listen to me the best way to deal with this is carry on as normal. Still hang round with all the friends and say hi to her etc. Don't slag her off to anyone as they will all think you're the *****. DO NOT let her think she is getting to you, and don't change the way you act at college because of her. IT is very very difficult and I reckon we've all been there at some point. Just be your nice normal self, she is a bully and eventually poeple will see that she is the one being nasty, and talking about you etc and if anyone asks you just say the truth you have no idea and maybe they should ask her. Good Luck, be strong and rise above it she sounds like a real COW and a BULLY. Don't let her win - before long it will all be over. Make her look the pratt.
2006-10-23 14:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by Katie G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh brother for the first answer on this question. Typical male to ask did u make a pass at her.
Get a new friend for now. She could just need some solitary time to herself. Or theres a family problem she can't tell u about. Don't worry about it. In time she'll come around. Just don't pressure her to talk. Be friendly though like saying hi how are you in the hallway. I'm sure theres been times when u felt u needed some alone time too.
2006-10-23 14:58:29 · answer #3 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, give her some time to think things through and then after a bit of time has gone by, ask her to go out for coffee or some place where the two of you can talk. The things that I would suggest not doing: Don't stop hanging out with mutual friends. It may be ackward at first, but don't lose all of your other friends. Secondly, don't talk badly behind her back to other friends. Thirdly, if she doesn't want to express her feelings to you and it isn't resolved, don't dwell on it--it's her loss to lose your friendship. Best of luck.
2006-10-23 14:56:12 · answer #4 · answered by zoe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well someone doesnt just stop talking to you. Try remembering if you've done something that could have cause her to be like that, or if there's someone who shes friends with but you hate. Also tell her that her not talking is stupid. Because her not wanting to talk, means her being/stupid about something you might have done. So tell her that if she doesnt want to talk to u fine, but you need to know the exact reason. or just ask her, if she just woke up one day and decided without ANY reason that she was gonna avoid you. Try to get to her basically. And confront her, dont avoid.
2006-10-23 15:00:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not write her a letter telling her how important your friendship is to you. Don't ask her to tell you why she's not talking, just write about the friendship. write true from your heart. Post her the letter or find a way of giving it to her without you being there. It is then up to her whether she reads it or not. have no expections of the outcome just know you've resolved things within yourself. In time you may become friends again.
2006-10-23 15:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its difficult but maybe you have to accept that this person isn't the friend you thought she was. Her behaviour is childish and hurtful - nobody needs that from friends.
Before you close the door on things altogether maybe talk to her or write her a letter explaining that you don't feel you deserve to be treated this way?
You will soon make new friends and hopefully they will be more worthy of you.
2006-10-23 14:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Fill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just accept that she won't talk to you and leave it up to her, she will come to you when she is ready. If she values your friendship she should not be behaving the way she is. How old is this person, they should be mature enough to address any issues with you. Ignoring you and the problem will not solve it.
And remember who needs a bossy friend, you will be married one day.
2006-10-23 14:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she is just being silly. unless you have had a disagreement about something, there isnt an obvious reason for her to behave like this.
try not to worry about it. she is probably mad at someone else and taking it out on you. just write her a little note telling her that you apreciate her friendship, and that you are sorry if you inadvertantly hurt her felings. that is all you can really do, and hope that she can start talking to you again.
2006-10-23 14:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by fifs_c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may not be your fault at all som1 could have a grudge against you or simply be jealous of you or her and som1 could have said something it may sound childish but that is the world we live in you should be careful what you say to people i never knew my friends could say and do some of the things they have done i found this out the hard way by showing too much concern and i lost alot of good mates through it
2006-10-23 14:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by alex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋