I just made love to the guy that I am in love with for the 1st time and it was off the chart awesome.....I would have never imagined..The problem is..I am married to someone else and can't stand him. I want a divorce but I want to be biblical about this...I know that making love to the other one is not right.....I understand that but we have been trying to keep this from happening for months now. HIstory...(4 years of physical abuse, cheating, no attention to me or kids, he doesn't live for God) those are the things I have put up with from him.....Any auggestions? PLEASE??
2006-10-23 07:47:07 · 104 answers · asked by T&E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I AM TRYING TO BE BIBLICAL. THIS JUST HAPPENED AND I HAVE DEALT WITH THIS CONSTANTLY IN A BIBLICAL SENSE BUT AFTER A WHILE...YOU CAN'T HELP IT WHEN SOMEONE COMES ALONG AND WANTS TO LOVE YOU.
2006-10-23 07:54:58 · update #1
Wow....a lot of harsh answers. I'm guessing none of them has evern been tempted to cheat...yeah right. You gave in, it was fun/passionate/carnal. Things happen and you move on. You probably should get divorced, but not because you slept with this guy. Its hard to do and the affair is an easy way to feel better. Suggestions??? No I don't have any....but I'm not going to condem either.
2006-10-23 07:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
You're going to have to tell him and you can't live life unhappy. If he has done nothing but give you 4 years of physical abuse and cheating, etc.) you both need to sit down, talk about your relationship and get the divorce. You're not happy and he's probably not happy. Trying to be biblical, no, don't do that. You want to be happy and healthy, so tell him you need to talk, work out the issues and talk to a lawyer.
2006-10-23 07:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by redneckshorty84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simple answer is: Get a divorce. If he has been cheating on you and abusing you, you should have gotten a divorce a long time ago. There is no point in being biblical about anything. You have both committed adultery.
2006-10-23 07:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by Niecy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you have just made love with this other man you really can't be biblical about it. If your husband is abusing you and/or your children you need to divorce him. The way I see it you should have left that abuser a long time ago. Move on and be happy. You and your children deserve it.
2006-10-23 07:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Kristen S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Biblically, you could have divorced him a long time ago for the cheating. Jesus said that if your spouse sleeps with someone else, they are no longer a burden to you and it won't be considered adultery for you to marry someone else. Unfortunately, since you have cheated also, you've already committed adultery. So I guess you might as well throw doing things "biblically" out the window and go ahead and get a divorce. God'll forgive you ... probably ....
2006-10-23 07:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by ♦Hollywood's Finest♦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you met someone else? I'm happy for you!
Now it's time to be honest with your husband, ask for a divorce, ask for NOTHING out of the marriage contract (unless you're carrying a prenup), walk away from the whole kidoodle, and hook up with your newbie. Yes, you will be called a whore and a slut for a while, and describing your husband as an abuser and a skank will not earn you any brownie points from anyone else. The point here is that YOU did the deed, and all we have to go on with him is what YOU say.
Let all this go, get a super quickie divorce, ask for nothing in return, walk away and to your new man's house. And of course, be happy!
Hope it helps!
2006-10-23 07:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by diagofaldi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have tried to justify this in your head. Its great that you have your beliefs, but that is not a reason to leave a man. Especially if you knew that was his belief system before you were married. Ask youself straight forward answers like, do you want to be married to this man or not? Be true to yourself and the vows you made until you are not married. Some of the most religious people I have met are the ones that have followed their stated beliefs the least,and you are no exception. You need to do some soul searching. I'm sorry I'm not trying to hurt you any more, really, but its important to play devil's advocate in these situations. I feel for you, especially if you have been physically abused. Remember, everything that happens begins in your head.
2006-10-23 07:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you want a divorce then get it why tack on to your problems and add some more drama to your alread tramatized life its no excuse you should have at least been separated from the husband before you had sex....now this guy you had sex with is he what you want in a man and worth losing the husband home and everything for?can you live with all the guilt of the lying and hurting b4 you decide when it's to late to turn back think of the pros and cons b4 doing that again honestly and two wrong dont make a right just makes you look like the bad person tsk tsk
2006-10-23 07:53:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
For starters, you left biblical out of this the second you cheated on your husband. If he is treating you badly, get out of the relationship.
You totally blew it. During the divorce you could have had reasonable grounds for leaving him (physical abuse, cheating, no attention to me or kids, etc.). But now you went and screwed it up by cheating too.
2006-10-23 07:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beg to differ... you can help it, I have, so have others. You should have chosen more carefully when getting married.
Now, as to how to deal with this biblically, admit what you did was wrong. Since he has cheated on you and been physically abusive, then I would say you're in your rights to ask for an even split of items. If it weren't for that, I'd say leave and don't take anything with you. But that's just because you want to be Biblical.
2006-10-23 08:10:00 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, you threw all your God arguments right out the window by cheating. You can put that little game back in your pocket.
If your relationship is that bad, get the hell out. If you want to suffer and cheat, fine, but don't make those kids suffer. They don't deserve that.
If you were truly all about God, you wouldn't have been with another man. This whole can't divorce him because of God is crap. You're probably just scared of someone being mad at you, or looking bad. Well, get over yourself, put your kids first, and get out.
2006-10-23 07:50:08 · answer #11 · answered by Allycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋