My mum wants to be there when I give birth?

Question

I really just want it to be me and my husband but as I am her only daughter I really don't want to hurt her feelings as I know she will be very upset. Do you think it's just easier to go along with things for an easy life??

HELP!!!!

Answer 1

I think that it's great that your mother want to be there for your delivery however, I agree with you I would prefer my husband to be there instead of her. You should just talk to her too let her know how you feel, she should understand... Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

I had a similar problem, my mom didn't want to be in there because she knew I wouldn't be comfortable but, my mother-in-law kept insisting that she be in there. I kept telling her I wasn't comfortable with her being in there but she didn't seem to care. On the day I went to the hospital (I was induced) she and her 2 sisters, my father in law and a couple of cousins of my husband showed up. My father in law and the cousins stayed out in the waiting room and I saw them very little. BUT, my mother in law and her sisters sat in the room and very loudly gossiped and laughed and were having a good ole time. My contractions were getting closer and I hadn't had my epidural yet, I was miserable. All of a sudden I had had enough. I sat up straight in bed and pointed at the door and told them to get the f === out of my room. Their mouths clamped shut and they stood up and walked out. I don't know what came over me, I don't usually say those things. Needless to say, she didn't bother trying to come back in the room. In fact, I was still a little angry after my son was born and I didn't let her come in until he was like 1 hour old. I have had 2 since then and she NEVER asked again.

My resolution would be to tell her that you are not comfortable. That you want this to be an experience you and your husband share together. Tell her you understand that she want to be there but that you just won't need her there. The delivery will be a rush of about 3 or 4 nurses, the doctor, (my doctor has a NP and a PA that helps him), people from respiratory therapy, sometimes the anestheaologist (sp?) will be there.

Remember this: Please take the epidural!! :)

Answer 3

I could be wrong, but I don't think being in the delivery room is a normal "only daughter type" experience (like a wedding). This experience is all about YOU. Youll probably be stressed out and very uncomfortable as it is, you don't need anything at all in there that will make it more so. Maybe you can let her come in and out during the labor, but leave when the doctor checks you/when delivery comes.

If I was in the worse pain ill probably ever experience, that would be the one time I would insist things go my way.

Answer 4

One thing to remember is that this is YOUR day. Your the one calling the shots and the one that should be in control. You should do whatever makes YOU the most comfortable. If you felt comfortable you could have her there during your labor and when it came time for the baby to be born you could ask her to step out. It's up to you. I personally don't think I'd want my mother there. I've thought this over and I didn't even feel comfortable when she was there for the ultrasound. Some people are just more private and like to keep things that way. The best thing is to be honest or don't call her right away to let her know your in labor.

Answer 5

Would it be possible to tell her that it's hospital policy to let only 1 person in the delivery room with you? That way, you could have it your way, and it will be like the decision was taken out of your hands.

If she already knows that more than 1 can be in, there really isn't a way to not let her in without her feelings being hurt. But she does need to respect your choices, no matter how many daughters she has. If you are going to regret it, don't do it. My mother-in-law would've loved to see her grandson be born, but I wasn't going to let her in the delivery room, not no way, no how.

Hospital policy said that 2 people would be allowed in, I was going to let my boyfriend and my mother in, but I ended up having a cesarean so only my boyfriend was there with me.

My sister in law would've let the whole neighborhood in, so long as it resulted in the baby being out of her.

When labor actually begins, you may end up changing your mind. Sometimes, you just want your mommy, no matter how old you are.

Good luck, and congratulations on the baby!

Answer 6

My mother didn't give me the chance to ask her. She said she couldn't handle seeing her "baby" in pain. She wanted to wait outside. I was happy because my husband and I wanted to do it alone.

Tell your mom that the room will be crowded with nurses and doctors and it would make you feel better if you didn't have to worry about her and how she would react to you if something happened. Not that it would, but you never know.

It really is a stressful time during delivery. People are flying all around the room and she would be in the way.

My husband brought his parents in right after my first baby was born and I was nursing her for the first time. I wasn't ready for visitors at all. It really ticked me off.

The second time, I told everyone that NO ONE would be allowed except my husband.

Stick to your guns and go with your heart.

OR you can always give the excuse that your doctor or the hospital doesn't allow anyone in except the delivering parents.
:)

Answer 7

I was there for my daughter's first birth, but she asked me to be there. I would not intrude on such an intimate moment if I'd not been asked.

Tell your mom how much you love her but that your plans for the birth of your child include only you and your husband. She may have hurt feelings for a short time, but when she sees the miracle you and your husband have created all of that will evaporate.

Congratulations on your upcoming birth!

Answer 8

This is a case for...

...the little white lie.

Tell her that your doctor/the hospital only allows one other person in the room during the birth, ie your husband. Every hospital/doctor has a different policy concerning extra people in the delivery room, just blame it on them.

If she happens to discover your fib, just tell her you must of misunderstood the doctor. After all your hormones are out of whack and they do throw so much information at you so quickly, your "misunderstanding" would be easy to blame.

Congrats on the pregnancy and good luck to you & hubby.

Answer 9

I think since she is your mum she will understand when you tell her you dont want her with you suring your birth. Maybe ask her if it would be ok for to wait outside or com after the baby is delivered. Having a baby is a special experience, it should be perfect for you. Your mum can se the baby afterwards but you can only experience this particular birth once and you should explain this as gently as possible to your mum.

Answer 10

My mom told all three of us girls that she wanted to be in the delivery room when we gave birth to our first, I didn't like the idea of my mom looking at my crotch being that I was 18 and thought heck no, but I was the first pregnant, and when the time came they asked me ok who do you want in the delivery room I was in so much pain and did not care so my mom, mother in-law and boyfriend were all in there but my second it will just be my husband. If you truly don't want her in there tell her but I think it would be great, it is your moms first grand baby, she is so excited to see, you can tell her where she can stand if she is in there with you limit her to places if that is what you are worried about, she just wants to be one of the first people to see her gran baby probably.