We are saving for a house & will probably get it at the end of next year. We have $50,000 saved up. We both have finished college & have good careers-we both make $20-25/hr. I know he wants to get everything financially in place but I'm so tired of waiting! He is 31 & I am almost 27. We've been married almost 2 years but been together a total of 8 years. I just feel like we have everything together except a house but hopefully we will get one next year. How can I talk him into trying to conceive several months before we buy? He said we might start in March but he changes his mind a lot. He even told his mom that & now she is excited. I just hope he doesn't give our hopes up! Any advice would help...thanks.
2006-10-23 07:06:47 · 17 answers · asked by beachbum26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also I want to add that I work at home 5 days/wk so that would help as far as not having to pay someone to watch the baby.
2006-10-23 07:08:15 · update #1
All you can do is talk to him about it and try not to pressure him too much cause then it may turn him off to the idea more. My boyfriend feels the same way about our future. I would like kids right away after we are married (after a year or so) and he wants to wait until we have a house and are financially stable. So I understand what you are going through. Just try and talk to him and maybe plan something super romantic and adorable that he wont be able to refuse! Good luck and have fun!
2006-10-23 07:11:04 · answer #1 · answered by bree_1384 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me- dont have a baby unless both of you are positive thats what you want. My husband said he wanted a baby just to make me happy because he knew how bad i wanted one. Our son is 8 months old and we both have never loved someone so much but it has hurt our marriage- if we had to do it all over again we would wait a little longer to have children. If our husband is waiting for you guys to be "financially ready", you will be waiting forever. Once you think your ready something else comes up. There seems to be other issues besides money. On a positive note, i thank god everyday for our son. Ryan is the light of our lives.
2016-05-22 01:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to just relax until after the house is complete. You guys are young and have plenty of time. Having a child is a huge decision and BOTH of you need to be ready.
If he feels pressured into having a child too early, he could potentially become resentful and dissatisfied with the situation.
You are right and you guys have your act together, but waiting a little while won't hurt you. Additionally, he wouldn't have told him Mom if he didn't want it!
PLEASE do not listen to these people telling you to stop taking your pills and deceive your husband!!! That is a huge lie and I just can't image you want to have that hanging over your relationship.
2006-10-23 07:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 1 person isn't 100% on board, then you wait. Stop trying to nag him into having a baby, and wait for March to bring up this issue again. I'm sure many women would love to have a man like him and would be more than happy to wait another year. You realize that once you have a baby, it will no longer be about what you want, and your schedule and your feelings, and your impatience, right? Better start putting that into practice before the baby.
2006-10-23 07:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you do not want to hear this, but I think you should wait. Kids are very expensive. It is important that you are ready for anything that can come up with a child. There is nothing I think is worse than having a kid you cannot afford. My advise, get the house, get everything in order, and then have the kid. Your child will thank you, and you will feel much more comfortable during the stressful pregnancy.
2006-10-23 07:11:58 · answer #5 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are ready for the house now unless you are trying for something very expensive. You don't need anything that big for your first house. I bought a house for 185,000 and 1400 sqft with 40000 in debt and nothing down. I got a decent interest rate also. I would say go for the house early next year. Move in, get six months in the house down and by next year you will have gotten pregnant and things will work out nicely.
2006-10-23 07:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by finished 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what is he waiting for?? You have what you need. You certainly don't have to be in your own home to have a baby. Your finances are straight, you been together for a good enough time. He probably have the new daddy cold feet drama thangy. Yes, having a baby will change your lives BUT in most cases, and certainly yours...I know it will be for the better.
2006-10-23 07:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the house is just an excuse for him to put it off, because he's not ready. I don't know how you get him ready, having a kid is a big responsibility, and everyone proceeds at their own pace. I'd give him til you guys get the house; meanwhile, enjoy being together, and have fun.
2006-10-23 07:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stop takin what ever brith control your on now since it will take a while to get out of your system and then if it happens fast just say oopppss 27 its about time when i turn that age ill have a 7 year old and a 10 year old
2006-10-23 07:10:08 · answer #9 · answered by jaydaka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casually say, "So, March, right? OK, unless you tell me otherwise, sounds good to me." Then, don't bring it up again. In March, stop using birth control, but say nothing. In this manner, you have not deceived your husband, and if he asks you how you got pregnant, you can honestly say, "I stopped taking birth control in March, just like we had decided last October."
If you don't like that idea, or if he does decide to renege later, another great way to apply pressure is to announce in late February that, come March, it becomes "his turn" to take care of birth control, and that if he doesn't want you to get pregnant, he'd better take care of that. Be sure you've stocked up on lots of sexy lingerie and his favorite porn DVDs to watch together. You'll be pregnant in no time, and he will have only himself to "blame".
2006-10-23 07:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋