i cant wait for my wedding- but i feel really competetive about my fiance and the fact that he's been around the world a lot... my insticts tell me to go travel a lot and just party like hell- is this normal? or should i just accept the fact that my bf is 9 years older and he obviously has done more things than me? i feel inferior because he has more experience... maybe as a guy, he need to feel this?
2006-10-23 07:03:12 · 29 answers · asked by wendysmmrs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's my feeling that if you have any doubts at all, do not get married. You need to experience life some more, travel, and get it all out of your system. Otherwise, you might feel cheated after you get married. Hopefully your fiance will understand and wait for you. If not, it was not meant to be.
2006-10-23 07:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better wait. There's a lot more to marriage than a wedding day. I realize the excitement is mounting, and rightly so, but you should understand one thing: problems only multiply and magnify after the wedding. That doesn't pose a threat to people who are truly in love and willing to work through the problems. However, it may mean certain death for marriages with parties that were unsure from the jump.
Too many people want a wedding and not enough want a real marriage. Commitment isn't necessarily "feel good" all the time, but that doesn't mean that it can be thrown away when it requires us to be a little stretched or uncomfortable.
Marriages that start questionably are the reason for a skyrocketing divorce rate in this country.
2006-10-23 07:08:10 · answer #2 · answered by mrtoddanson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun you're having Cold feet that happens to most people at some point. His experiance makes you feel like you haven't lived enough yet... the thing is though Marriage isn't the end of Life. I think once you two are married he can take you to these places he's been and you can have a wonderful time... Having wild parties and being out of control is not what makes Life... and isn't a measure of how GOOD life is. Things like that don't make you happy or successful. The fact he's older than you of course he's going to have different experiance but that can be said about any two people. Two things are possible here... one he has been around the world and lived it up and he wants to share it with you... or hes grown out of the need to party hardy and now he wants to live a good solid life grounded and fulfilled. Talk to him about this... Above all things good communication makes or breaks a marriage. Those who can talk to eachother and work things out no matter how serious or how trivial the circumstance may seem. Because something you think is silly may be really important to him and vise versa. May God bless your marriage with peace and love and security in one another!
2006-10-23 07:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by Jembee1720 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't sound ready for this type of commitment... and the feelings you have will not go away until you are satisfied by your own experiences... You said you can't wait for the wedding... and that gives it away... because the wedding is a celebration and party... If you were ready for the commitment you would have said "I can't wait to be married"... Take a long hard look at your inner self before making this move...
2006-10-23 07:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry I understand.Look if he realy loves you & doesnt want to just get married cause of his age, then he'll wait for you until you are ready, but remember he can only wait for only so long.i'm not telling to hurry up & make up your mind, but if in the future & he asks again dont be suprised, he wont be waiting any longer.Also if you noticed your previous relationships havent been soo good & this one is great that you would want to see your future with him in it, then why don't you appreciate what you have.& I've known of cases where guys & girls are infatuated with the Ideal guy or girl, I'm not saying you are like that but just take the time realize what you really want.Remember if he really loves you then he'll wait, cause he has to be understanding knowing your about your age situation.it's just that you both on a different track w/ the whole age thing he wants kids now & you want to wait a little bit more, you should've realized what you were getting yourself into. But I dont mean to twell you what you should do but judt think things through.
2016-03-28 05:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is your ? as a guy your fiance need to feel this
as far as your statement goes it is you who have the need to travel
have you discuss that to him, has he been honest with you about his traveling
my husband has travel a lot before we meet, that has nothing to do with me, we both travel to different part of the world
so now we make it a point to show each other the places that we visit and go to new places tpgether
at the begining he used to say I been their you won't like I would answer that for me to decide
If you decide not to get married stop the marriage
but do talk first and think of the true reason behind it
2006-10-23 07:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready for this marriage yet. Do not rush into a marriage that you know in the deepest part of your mind, that you are going to have serious problems. You should not even be thinking about his past life experiences, if the two of you are together now. Marriage, is to be a togetherness, not a competition to end up in divorce court.
2006-10-23 07:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by ace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men ALWAYS have to feel superior. That is a fact of life. If he MAKES you feel inferior about your lack of traveling, then maybe you should stop and think about the wedding.
2006-10-23 07:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by sean_stout2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe as a woman you need to realize that if your not 100% into getting married then perhaps you should put it off for a while. Every lady looks forward to their wedding but that is no reason for getting married if your unsure if your ready for this big step or not.
2006-10-23 07:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you guys plan to party and travel together? Explore the world together? Grow together? This is what marriage is about - not about who had had more "experience" before getting married.
2006-10-23 07:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋