I suffer from depression but have never gotten help for it, I had an instance two and a half years ago where I just quit going to work for three or four months and just couldn't make myself go and it wasn't bad then because I wasn't married so it didn't affect anyone but me. But in august of this year the same thing happened and instead of telling my husband that I was depressed I just lied and said that they were working on things at my work and I couldn't work as much. Well I went back to work about three weeks ago and I figured everything would be okay, but today my husband found out and he won't talk to me. He filed for divorce and I can't say that I blame him, but I want to get help and am on the phone right now trying to get help. I love my husband and I don't want to lose him, but should I just give up and not be his problem anymore?
2006-10-23 06:54:50 · 18 answers · asked by hideemosquito 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have depression and I am married and and I work and this my dear is not a huge problem, not huge enough to divorce you over! O.K. so you lied, is he that stupid to realise that we are sometimes embarassed of our depression and don't want to bother others with it! There is more to this!
He has not filed b/c you lied and you are not depressed just b/c and if you had more help from him your chemical imbalance would not be as bad as it has been! Stop taking all the blame and let his sorry a_s walk out b/c he can't keep up with his end of the deal for better or for woese through sickness and in health! He and you also needs to learn all that you can about depression! So if you get help he'll stay? Is it going to make any difference? Or is he just an inconsiderate a_s that doesn't have a heart. You are working, good for you! not all depressed people can work! So why can't he give you credit there! Did you tell him or did he find out from someone else? if you are the one that told him then he needs to give you credit for fessin' up... How long have you been married??? How long have you had this job??? and How long have you had depression??? No drug is going to make you better, get a book called "The Depression work book" get a counselor one that will not put you into a hospital or on drugs, one that will deal with the problems at hand and teach you how to cope with depression, you have been this way all your life(?) if you go on drugs you will have to get to know someone else that is different living in your body! Help yourself, Go to the tanner buy a new dress or shoes or make up, get your hair done... Pamper yourself b/c he sure the hell isn't going to! and guess what you are counting on you to pull yourself back up out of the hole that you forgot was there that you stumbled back into... It's o.k. and will be you've just forgot to watch your stones on the path, if he goes let him, he needs to grow up and be a bit more mature and see the real reasons of why you didn't tell him to begin with! E-mail anytime! I'm here for you!!! Mad at him but here for you like he's never lied to you!!! C'mon.... It's not like you had an affair or killed his dog on purpose!
2006-10-23 07:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a major issue in a marriage and you broke that. That's most likely why he filed for a divorce. I would be honest with him about the depression and then go see a doctor and get medication for it. I have suffered from major depression for 25 years and the medication makes all the difference in the world. I stopped taking my medication twice and both times I went right back into a major depressive episode. Depression is a disease just like high blood pressure and diabetes. There are medications out there to control the symptoms, but there is no cure. Take the meds and you are fine. Don't take them and the disease will ruin your life and possibly kill you. Ask your husband to take you. This way the doctor can explain the disease to him and hopefully he will forgive you and give you another chance. Good Luck!
2006-10-23 07:06:52 · answer #2 · answered by BetteBoop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing by getting help for your depression. You have got to focus on that right now. You cannot make your husband change his mind. Try to get him to listen to someone explain about depression, though, and how it is a sickness. Hopefully he will stick around and help you through it. You deserve it. If not, your life is not over. You can only work on you. You can never work on someone else. Also, apologize to your husband for not being honest. Ask for his forgiveness, and do try to tell him the truth in the future. Best wishes to you. I have been there, even close to suicidal, and I am now one of the happiest people that I know!
2006-10-23 07:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get help for your depression, and you need talk to your husband , and tell him what is really going on, and explain to him why? but remember once the trust is lost it takes a lot to gain it back, and try not to lie anymore, I think that may be a whole other issue then just depression
2006-10-23 11:25:27 · answer #4 · answered by rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get help for yourself first, and worry about your marriage later. You can't blame your husband for wanting to get out of a dysfunctional relationship - and you ARE dysfunctional, sorry to say. Work on changing yourself; perhaps he will see that you're making progress, and reconsider the split-up. Even if he doesn't - you still need to address the problem, since it's going to destroy any relationship you are ever in.
2006-10-23 07:01:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a therapist who deals with depression involved and seek counseling - for yourself and for the two of you. He may need to cool off a bit and learn how depression affects people (you). In the meantime, continue to seek treatment. It will be a whole new world for you, though it may take some time to get there.
2006-10-23 07:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband agreed "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" and you should start to see a doctor for your depression. And include your husband, divorce or not. Perhaps his filing for divorce is an attempt to get you to see a doctor. Either way, you'll feel better if you seek therapy.
Don't give up, if you do, you're giving up on yourself, too.
2006-10-23 07:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce seems a little extreme to me! course, I don't know your entire life story either... However, you need to prove to your hubby that you're trying to change and perhaps just asking him to sit and listen to you for 5 minutes would be a good start. Then work on things from there.
It won't be easy, but in time, what ever happens, hopefully you'll learn to trust and confide in those closest to you.
Good Luck!
Aloha!!
2006-10-23 07:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is your husband and if he leaves cuz u are depressed then he is not the right guy for you. You need support not someone to run away. U were depressed and when u are depressed you dont do things logically. This is not your fault this is a disease and he needs to be there for you...do special things for yourself.!!!!!!
2006-10-23 07:04:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is an emotional problem there, and you truly want help, then your husband should recognize that, and give you another chance. depression is not something to play around with. please get help for yourself BEFORE you try to patch your marriage. your husband will probably be more responsive if he sees that you're trying to get help, that is if he's a good husband.
2006-10-23 07:03:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋