Whenever she asks me if I am happy with her or if I find her sexy I have learnt the hard way that she isn't interested in the truth but she is just "fishing for a compliment". When I say "The truth" I don't mean that I am gonna tell her I hate her or that she isn't sexy. I mean I would say, "of course I love you, but if you could just do such and such I would be much happier". So does she ever want to know the truth?
2006-10-23 06:43:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are right, when she asks you that she wants to hear something nice. but at the same time we are curious to know what's really on your mind. for instance, i would love to know if my BF has ever cheated on me, but i would die if i found out that he did. women want to know the truth, only if it favors them
Pao
2006-10-23 06:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by Pao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a women it is NEVER easy to hear the truth if it is not what we want to hear. but YEs we do want the whole truth. It may upset us bu we really do want to know. We have soo much more respect for a guy who is honest. It is not that she is fishing for compliments she is probaly just wondering how u feela bout her. Maybe she is feeling that you havent been noticing her or whatever. It is essential also to pay for her to get her hair done once a month to help her feel better. do special little things for her each month and I think the paranoia will slow down.
2006-10-23 13:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't generalize here. With some (regardless of gender), when they ask just a question, they really don't want to hear what you have to say, they want you to say what they want to hear. With others, they want a realistic answer. Personally, I prefer a realistic answer. But I don't know your wife, so you have to go with your own instincts and history. Maybe if there are some things you'd like her to do or not do, you could tell her at a different time, and not when she's asking "are you happy?" etc. Make sense?
2006-10-23 13:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all in the packaging. When she asks, "Are you happy with me?" you need to give her a big hug and a kiss and say "Of COURSE I am." Then, instead of following up with something like, "But I wish you would shave your eyebrows more often," you say: "And one of the HAPPIEST times I spent with you was when you shaved your eyebrows. I'd love for us to do that more often." (Obviously, substitute your own happy memory for shaving her eyebrows -- unless that WAS your happiest memory, in which case you might want to ask your doctor about what medication would be right for you. :-)
You can even take the initiative on this -- come up behind her, put your arms around her waist, rest your chin next to her ear and say "Honey, I was just thinking about how wonderful it was when we XXX, and I'd love for us to be able to do that again." It could be anything from a vacation in Tahiti to miniature golfing to that thing she did with a mouthful of crushed ice and a feather-duster -- it'll satisfy her fishing-for-compliments need, and you'll get Good Husband Points for Talking About Your Relationship (it's question #347 on last month's Cosmo survey about Why Men Suck And How To Get One). And one subtle thing about that, but don't miss it: be sure to say "how wonderful it would be for US to do that again." Women love it when you demonstrate that you think of the two of you as a couple, even if what you're thinking of was something that she was most definitely doing to you (or at least to part of you).
Also... if she asks you these questions regularly, there's no excuse: prepare an answer in advance. So for example if she regularly asks, "Do you think I'm sexy?," think ahead of time about what you find sexiest about her -- especially if it's something other than the usual (that is, something different from the parts of her body covered by skimpy underwear). I recently told my wife, "You have poster-quality calves and feet." "Poster-quality?" she asked. "Yeah," I said, rubbing her foot and leg for emphasis, "your legs are so perfectly proportioned that you could take a picture of them and blow it up big enough to make a poster." That one ended well. :-)
So, does she really want to know the truth? No -- she wants to know that you love her. So maybe, whenever she asks you one of these jaw-clenching questions ("Do these jeans make my butt look big?"), your best answer may simply be to sweep her into your arms, kiss her passionately on the lips and throat, and say "I love you, I need you, I want you," in between smooches.
And hey, maybe she'll get out the crushed ice and the feather duster!
2006-10-23 17:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by Scott F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the truth but also be realistic with her. Example: One day I was putting on makeup and I saw a few gray hairs. I am only 24 and I ran to hubby and said "my god I have three gray hairs." he looked at me and said "well you arent getting any younger." I was shocked at first but it's the truth. Then he said " I didnt marry you for your beautiful body I married you for you and truth is your beautiful body will get old one day but I will still love you." So it helped me to be realistic and at the same time I know I can count on my hubby to give me the truth with a little bit of sugar.
2006-10-23 13:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by 2h@n@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What? are you stupid, of course she doesnt want to know the truth. She wants to think that you always find her beautiful, sexy and thin. She knows you are lying, but it makes her feel like she has trained you right!!
2006-10-23 13:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes the truth! She wants to know the truth! No matter how much it will hurt her that is better than lying!
2006-10-23 13:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by Trinity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no at the same time she does want to some what know the truth but then again she wants to be complimented obviously you don't do it enough so maybe you should try complimenting her more often.
2006-10-23 13:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you be anymore of a dumbass? don't go telling the girl her faults......who wants to hear that.......try telling her nice things, compliments without her asking......when you wake up in the morning tell her how beautiful she is sleeping so peaceful and relaxed.......it would probably make her day
2006-10-23 13:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by lonely northern alberta guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not want the truth.
2006-10-23 14:20:09 · answer #10 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋