Should I apologize?

Question

I have a moral dilemma. I told my neighbor to go f*** himself. We were hosting a party and my neighbor whom I don't know very well misunderstood my intention when I said something. He was quite inebriated at the time and I had a few drinks earlier but had quit by this time. I tried to diffuse the situation by saying, "that was not my intention when I said that" but he became defensive and belligerent and stormed away. I let it go. Later on when he was leaving he came up to me and said "it was nice to meet you" in a sarcastic way and tried to shake my hand. I wouldn't shake his hand and he again became belligerent. At that point I told him to go f*** himself.

Should I apologize or let it go and why? I don't care what he thinks, I'm more concerned that I didn't take the high ground.

Wow, I thought this question would linger with no answers. I'm a woman, BTW, and he doesn't live right next door but down the street several houses away.

Thanks for the input.

Answer 1

Give him a little time for the choco beer (er whatever) to wear off...then when you see him next say: "hey look man I'm sorry about the other night I wasnt thinking clearly...had a few too many etc." It takes a bigger man to apologize...if he doesnt have an apology for you that just shows he isn't the bigger man...remember when we were kids and our parents made us apologize to each other?...even if only one of us was in the wrong?...that should remain w/ us...you do the right thing..for yourself...it doesnt matter what the other guy does...as long as you do the right thing...have enough security in yourself to be the big guy....gl....

Answer 2

First, that night you were dealing with only a limited brain person- if he was not smart enough to not get trashed at a public place (which someone elses home is to me) then your just going to have to realize who and what he is- and if you get by this- then never-the -less may be a good friend and neighbor. Maybe send him and his family a plate of halloween or autumn cookies and goodies and deliver them, say, hey, that was really offensive what you said to me,but I realize that it could have been a total joke (you may realize it wasn't,but be smarter than the problem person) and I really do apologize for over reacting if it was- it is a very sensitive issue for me and I jumped right on it before I've even gotten the chance to know you....Put your real knowledge under your hat- rude dumb people are all around, but I think most people are just in their own little circle and don't mean to be that way- you certainly didn't. It might give him a chance,if he's a big enough person, to apologize too! But if he doesn't- well, you still did the right thing, you have to be able to walk away knowing thart for yourself-

Answer 3

Well, I would say you were both drinking and if you really want to take the high road, do it. Suck it up and apologize for what YOU did or said. He needs to excuse his own actions. Make it clear what you are apologizing for. Then if he still is a jerk then Im sorry you just have a jerk for a neighbor. Then I would move on. But if you need it for your self then I would try to do the right thing. If it comes back in your face remember to tell your self "Hey I did what was right." Thats all you can do. His actions are his own. Good luck! :)

Answer 4

Yes as a neighbor you will see him often. Tell him you both had been drinking and the situation shouldn't have gone the way it did.
In my opinion with what you wrote.
he was wrong to get upset with a misunderstood statement .
And you were wrong to refuse his handshake, That may have been his way to apologize for the misunderstanding and you took his feet out from under him.
Stuff happens I hope you and your neighbor can work it out.

Answer 5

I think u should just let it go. The fact that there was alcohol involved shows that nobody was behaving the way they normally would. Just forget about it. If he cant do the same and get over it, just ignore him. If u dont know him that well and dont care what he thinks just forget about it..thats what i would do anyway.

By the way, i'm impressed that u wouldnt take any sh*t from him simply because he was a guest..he should learn some manners!! lol

Answer 6

He's your neighbor. To cover your *** in the future i'd make sure i made up. Having enemy neighbors is never a good thing, it could lead to cops being called when parties are being thrown, or it could lead to other serious things. Just be the bigger man and be like, "hey man, sorry about the other night." and so on and so forth.

Answer 7

Just let it go. It sounds as if it was all due to excessive alcohol intake and it will be hard to have a discussion about something of this nature.
Out of courtesy, if you see him on the street, say hello or give a wave.
It was a misunderstanding and it will eventually work itself out.

Answer 8

Just wait for sometime when your neighbour head's clear and then you can apologise for the misunderstandings. Its always good to be humble with your neighbour because they will respect you that way. After you apologise u'll feel better knowing that you did something to ammend and whether the relationship is going to be better or not is all up to him but you'll be happy u did something.

Answer 9

If you are asking the question then you know the answer. You obviously feel bad and the best way to help that is to try to apologize and hope that he is as level headed as you and simply accepts and moves on.

Answer 10

Eek... That's a tough one. I understand that you don't care what he thinks but he is a neighbor. Who knows how long you will be living near him. I would consider one last attempt with something simple like "I think we got off on the wrong foot..."

If that doesn't work you will at least know that you tried and that is all you could do.

Good Luck