I was wondering what everyone else's personal experience is regarding divorces, separations, kids' reactions to it, etc.
Gonna go through it myself soon, wanna know what to expect. Also, if you could do it over again, what is THE ONE THING you wish you had done differently?
2006-10-23 05:48:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was married for 16 years and when I divorced, my kids were 14 and 12. I was a very difficult time for all of us. Especially because the boys adored their father. One thing I decided to do was to NEVER speak negative about their father to the boys. What happened between their dad and I was strickly between my ex and I and we kept the kids out of it. We assured them that we loved them and they had nothing to do with the divorce.
First few months were the hardest because I had never been on my own (since I married at 17). I surrounded myself with a good support groups (family and friends). You need positive people around you to help you go through these tough times. Put your focus on you and the kids. Though being a single parent can be hard at times, it can also be a blessing. Take this time to heal emotionally, to grow and learn from your past experience and also take time for YOU. Enjoy this time with the kids. This is not the end of the world. Life goes on and so will you.
Do not get into another relationship right away. You need time to heal and rebuild.
Two years after my divorce, I met a wonderful man who loves me and loves my kids and we got married just this year. There's life after divorce. Just take it one day at a time. Focus on YOU and your kids and leave the rest to the future. In time, you too will find someone who will love you and honor you.
Good luck!!
2006-10-23 06:26:16 · answer #1 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hell no! So you made a 'few' mistakes, we all make em, that's your past. And why would you think a 'divorced woman' with three kids is damaged goods? I admit it's a mans world but all this shouldn't and doesn't mean that all that should prevent you from leading a normal life, and being capable of pursuing a relationship. Go for it hun! Relationships are not only for child-less, undivorced people - everyone wants love, wants to feel wanted so find your mr right and never let anyone tell you you're damaged goods! And those who tell you so are deluded people stuck with misconceptions which they believe to be true. This ain't the 17th century lol, so go for it and I WIsh you the best of luck hun :)
2016-03-28 05:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediately set up a separate bank/checking account, credit cards, etc. and have your name removed from any credit cards you may share. If he goes on a spending spree you are still responsible for at least half. Talk to your lawyer about the best way to protect your assets.
Get the best lawyer money can buy. Interview several, talk to friends/colleagues for referrals, etc. Make sure that lawyer will fight like h--- for you!
Also, if there are kids involved and split custody - put in the decree that there are to be no members of opposite sex that are not related (meaning no hooches) staying overnight while kid(s) are staying with ex. You would be surprised at how many judges will agree with this.
If I had things to do over - I would have had a different lawyer and taken him to the cleaners!!! I was way too nice and I walked away with absolutely nothing after 12+ yrs. of marriage AND cancer!!
2006-10-23 06:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, we didn't have kids when we got divorced... "Making ends meet" was easy, since I was making more than he does to begin with. One thing that I wish I had done differently would be not rely on his words about the bills having been paid, but check my credit reports myself.
2006-10-23 05:53:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had one son with my divorce, and I ended up getting a single girlfriend (with 3 kids!) to come share the bills with me. What I wish I would of done differently is NEVER to of become so financially dependent on him...that was the main reason I stayed with him longer than I wanted to.
2006-10-23 05:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to adjust to a different income level, but it just takes some time to get used to it. My son was 9 when we separated and it took him a few years to actually deal with it. He took it pretty hard. But he's 16 now and is very well adjusted and glad that he doesn't have to be in the middle of all the fighting anymore.
2006-10-23 06:21:22 · answer #6 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had three daughters under 13 when I left my husband. The only thing I would advise is to have a fund of money available to you before you do it. All kinds of expenses pop up when you least need them to and sometimes exes can be vindictive and won't pay child support even though you need it badly. Believe in yourself and have a close friend to lean on.
2006-10-23 07:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked 2 jobs and took care of my kids myself. Never asked anyone for anything and set my own goals. Put my kids through college, bought my own house, car, etc. I have no regrets about anything even marrying the ex. No matter what, he's still the father of my children and without him I would not have my children that I love and adore.
2006-10-23 06:08:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 kids, 10-16, worked, went to college, family helped, ex paid child support for a couple of months, boyfriend/current husband helped a lot. kids were and still are glad. kids now 22-28 very succesful and well adjusted.
2006-10-23 06:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i had a baby at the time.. I cut things out like getting my nails done, cutting coupons, I also got a roommate... things like that really helped. The one thing i would have done sooner is so get a seperate checking account.. i got screwed he emptied our account the day after i got paid. My half a months pay check gone...
2006-10-23 05:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by Virginia1228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋