Is this considered cheating?

Question

not too long ago i was looking for a joke email and i checked my fianaces email for it - what i found was an email he had sent out - to another woman - stating that he liked her. it was actually a return undelivered email - from a year ago.
When I was pregnant........so apparently he had a crush on someone - I confronted him about it - and he said that
a young girl was flirting with him and he had a crush but nothing happened. I believe nothing happened because he is always home - always hands over a full check to me
always calls me on his lunch break - rushes home to see his son.......but it still hurt.

Answer 1

yes ofcourse it still hurts,but he is always home, and he is calling you, so theres no reason to be upset, you must forgive this, and not keep going there in your mind. when u confronted him he didn't lie to you, and his actions speak for themselves.that was a year ago, i know it feels as if it just happened. forgive him because he apparently wants you and the baby.

Answer 2

I went through the same thing - and I had no idea he was seeing someone else. I honestly thought he had no time to cheat between work, school, and family life. He found ways. It started out as an 'emotional' affair with a 21 yr. old coworker. Then they started arranging their classes together. Then he started leaving for work a little earlier in the morning. Then he had to stay after class now and again to 'ask questions'. Then he told his family he just wasn't happy after almost 13 yrs. of marriage, that we has 'always' had problems, and that he was leaving me. They knew before I did. He moved out on Father's Day - a great memory for his 11 yr. old son.
Where there is a will there is a way. He may regret what he did but unfortunately, during tough times (when son has had a rough night and you are too tired to 'put out' on demand, or if you become ill, or overworked), most men equate sex with love/appreciation and will turn to whomever makes them feel most loved and appreciated.
This would be a good place for a counselor or your pastor to become involved - before you become resentful (if you bring it up to him you will be accused of 'throwing' it in his face) and the resentment starts manifesting itself in other ways. If a counselor can mediate a discussion on how and why you are hurt and how disrespectful he was being AND how to best deal with the situation - you will probably both be better off for it.
I am a firm believer (now!) in getting regular relationship 'tune-ups'.

Answer 3

It's very understandable for you to be hurt. But it was over a year ago and you were obviously number one to him. You were more important to him than this young girl.
But he had a crush on someone and gave that all up for you and your child.
I don't consider that cheating because its not like there was like emails every day. And at the end of the day he comes home to you. Don't worry about it. Its been a year and he's still with you.

Answer 4

It's a lot easier to think about something or send off an email than to do the actual deed. It's entirely possible that your husband/bf was thinking about pursuing someone but changed his mind or couldn't bring himself to do it. some people like the excitement of the emails or chats only and never progfress to anything else. I would say he did not cheat, so be happy he is still with you and supporting you. Sometimes getting close to the edge is enough to scare a peron back onto the track.

Answer 5

It's absolutely cheating if you felt cheated on. Whether you can forgive him and move past it is your decision. Personally, I think it's pretty rotten to be pursuing women while you were carrying his child. Maybe nothing happened because the email was returned or because SHE had the integrity not to mess around with a man with a pregnant fiance.

I'm betting now you check your fiance's email on purpose now, and perhaps even his wallet and voicemail because you can't stop wondering. I don't think you'll be able to let go of this without some counseling. I don't think you'll be able to let go of this without some counseling. Good luck either way!

Answer 6

I don't consider it cheating unless he steps past flirting. I know it hurts but hurt comes along with love. You open yourself up to take risks and thats what happens. If you 2 had a talk about it then I wouldn't take it to heart. He should have told you, that is a fact. But you can not undo what is done in the past. It is your choice what to do now, but I don't think that you should worry too much about it. Unless there is more to the story. Hope for the best with you!

Answer 7

Yes it is cheating, at the very least it was the intent to cheat. If nothing happened it was because the e-mail came back undelivered. Did the girl block him and sent his e-mail back ?? Was he stalking her ? If he would do this while your pregnant dont fool yourself that there is no more skeletons in the closet. I saw my ex all the time too. He found time to cheat.

Answer 8

I think your reasons for being hurt are valid, its more the TRUST issue that he kinda broke. Understandably you are offended, as any sane rational person would be, but you did the most important thing, you talked to him, you know he is home, you know he isnt spending money on amyone else, he calls on lunches, and hurries home to see your son, but it isnt only his son he is rushing to...I think that he realized he was being a jerk, and is basically reproving himself to you. Hurt is tricky to get rid of, but recognizing where the hurt stems from will help you come to resolution and put this behind you. Good Luck, I dont think you need it, you seem to be pretty rational.

Answer 9

Get over it. Sorry, but you can't be playing this "hurt feeling" little girl game now that you're an unwed mother with a baby to think about. If you believe nothing happened, then forget it.
Stop punishing him.

Answer 10

It does take much time in the day to cheat...you are not with him 24/7..He could be all in the Punani and still call u for lunch.. Not trying to add to it however dont keep blinders on!