I'll try to be as brief as possible...
My husband and I have been together for 10 years & best friends for 7 yrs before. We argued about stupid things but I just didn't see how trivial they truly were until recently, "conveniently" as he puts it, when he gets to his breaking point. I tried to explain that sometimes you just have to see things for yourself & that I really want to work this out but we just have the same convos over and over and get nowhere. He says he doesn't want to try, he just wants it to be done. He moved in w/ a family member after one of these convos...that was about a month and a half ago now & though he says all he wants is to sell the house & get a divorce, nothing has happened. He came over 4 wks ago saying he was calling a mediator the next day but so far nothing. I want to believe that he is torn and maybe not as sure as he says but I don't want to be the queen of denial!! I just feel there is so much to lose by walking away & I can't imagine life w/out him
2006-10-23 05:14:18 · 9 answers · asked by needhelp06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know how long you expected to argue over stupid things- 17 years? 25? People get sick and tired of it, their love and respect starts to dwindle, and they decide to move on. He got fed up, he wants out and he's done.
Too many women play this little "stupid argument/ it's all about my feelings" game for so many years, and can't believe it when their man says enough.
There's no way you can get him back as you are. You'd need a major overhaul, and you'd have to show him- over a number of months- that you've changed. IF he'll give you the chance.
Get a copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger. After you read it, you might understand how he feels and why he's done- and possibly how to change.
2006-10-23 05:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 years is a long time to be together and if these little argument are really getting to him, then maybe you should just let them go. If hes willing to get a mediator but hasnt come through yet maybe you should go ahead and find one for both of you. It sounds like he might want to work it out with you, but if you go in there and tell him that you cant live with out him, he might want to walk away even more. Just try and trust youself and trust that the universe will support you, whatever might happen. And be stronge too... because no man likes a weak women. (dont forget to say sorry if thats in order)
2006-10-23 12:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Even 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation, and my husband's "breaking point" conveniently coincided with his affair with another (albiet inferior) woman.
We have been separtaed for a year, and still no separation agreement. It took me a while to accept that it was really final, and Im sure your husband is torn to some extent.
At this point I would take him at face value and start to move forward with your life.
It may seem as though you can't live without him, but believe me you will. There is also nothing less attractive than someone who seems desperate to get you back.
Do things for yourself, spend time with friends, go out, buy some new clothes and behave as though you couldn't be any happier. This may not bring him back, but he will respect you for it, and it is also the only way for you to begin to heal.
Fake it till you make it!
Avoid blaming yourself for everything, often spouses who leave will give you a laundry list of reasons they "had to" leave you, and neglect to take responsibility for any of their own actions. Do take responsibility for issues you contributed to.
And most importantly DO NOT read DR. Laura
Best of luck!
2006-10-23 15:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by tethergrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the story, but some of the little things can add up to be a big problem. If it is a recurring argument over a certain problem, then someone is not trying to understand what it is doing to the other. I'm not saying to give in just somethings are not worth arguing about, and most little problems need to be just left alone.
2006-10-23 12:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a big hassle to start the "proceedings" so that's probably why he's stalling. Before that happens, you need to make sure you have records of all the assets, bank account numbers, his SS number and anythinge else you two have acquired. It may come to nothing, but it's better to be prepared than out in the cold as a broke divorcee.
2006-10-23 15:39:31 · answer #5 · answered by Countess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get help for yourself, if the divorce happens you will be better prepared. if you feel you have a chance you should do what ever it takes to make it work.
communication is a major factor in a marriage.
2006-10-23 12:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to play a game of monster rain with lil jimmy
2006-10-23 12:30:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is done!!! You need to express your thoughts and feelings to him and see his true feelings!
2006-10-23 12:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yall have issuse
2006-10-23 12:20:36 · answer #9 · answered by brandy baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋