+++ How do I get my? +++?

Question

How do I get my 5 year old son and husband to help out with the cleaning?
I will clean the whole house and not even 10 minutes later it becomes worst than it was before.
I've tryed going on strike but they don't care.
To keep my home looking good I have to clean about 5 times a day or more.
It's driving me crazy because It's too much work for one person and I am getting worn out...

Answer 1

You teach them that this is the way that it is going to be: The 5-year-old sounds like the easier one to train; I am the mom and you are the child, and you are going to listen. Show him how you want it, then say, "Now it's your turn. When you're done, we can do something that you would like to do. Right now, we're doing this first." Then stick to your guns and be consistent. Follow up on your promise. Don't threaten and worst of all, don't bribe, like "If you do this, I'll give you this candy." No, no, no. Then the kid will expect a reward every time he does the most ordinary thing, and life's not like that. You're not doing him any favours by giving in to him and doing things he should be doing for himself. I know this woman who did everything for her sons into their adulthood, and they were sent out into the world without knowing how to boil water or do their own laundry. Wrong! I was taught by a very caring mother how to fend for myself, and I'm a guy. I could run the household when I was 12 years old, including being able to do cooking, cleaning, mending, laundry, shopping (comparison shopping, and buying for the household.) So it's never too young to teach independence. As for your husband, he's probably not unteachable, but he's setting a bad example for the child, and the child is probably emulating him, as children do. Tell him that he's undermining your discipline and teaching with the child by doing things that you don't want the child to do. You may have to resort to counselling. Wasn't there some indication of his slovenliness prior to getting married? Anyway, stop doing all this work! You're teaching them that's it's okay to treat you like a doormat, and it will only get worse. Put your foot down, or you're setting yourself up for a breakdown and a divorce. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well.. a five year old is a perfect time to start teaching responsibility... One of those responsibilities is to assign a task for him to do each morning/or afternoon/or whenever you decide.. It should be something which he is fully capable of doing. NOW.. as far as the husband.. You could trade him in for a new vacuuming cleaner or if that is not economically feasible, have a serious talk with hm and if you can do so and stick to it.. "lay the law down".. He will be responsible for not necessarily doing a particular task each day because he is an adult.. but to be responsible for putting his clothes away when he throws them on the floor or whatever... Do you get my drift? You could even blackmail him by saying that you are just going to have to look ford a maid to come in once a week and he should be ready to pay a minimum of $50 a week($200 a month).. that MIGHT rattle him a little

Answer 3

I say clean up after yourself and leave their mess exactly where they drop it. At 5 years old your son should be responsible for keeping his things in order. Teach him now to become a responsible child or he will grow up to be an irresponsible adult. When my children were younger, I made a board with chores on them. They got a sticker for everyday that they did there chores and at the end of the week they got a treat for being helpful. Nothing major, I would buy little toys and knick knack from the dollar store and allow them to pick something or sometimes were allowed to rent a special dvd and we would make sundaes. Let me explain that this is a reward for being helpful and not payment for doing work. I always emphasized that they were being responsible and that they were great helpers and that was why they were being rewarded. Now that my children are older they get allowance not only for doing chores but for bringing in good grades and being all around good kids. Three of my children have part time jobs and they are very responsible. Good luck with your son and as for your husband leave all his crap where he leaves it , don't do anything for him and when he ask why tell him that you are not his mother but his wife and partner and the chores should be shared equally by the two of you.

Answer 4

This is a relationship issure between you and your husband. You need to sit him down and explain the trouble you are having and say that you need help. If he refuses to help with cleaning and with raising you son to be neat then there are other problems that you two will need to work through.

The idea that men should not help should have died in the 1950's when women had to work outside the home. It is interesting that some men still feel the need to be lazy and call it being a man.

Take Care.

Answer 5

They probably don't care because at some point you buckle. In order for this to work you have to go on strike and hold firm until they clean up their own mess. I would suggest a family meeting though - explain how much this hurts you and that it makes you feel taken advantage of........maybe they just don't realise that it bothers you so much because in their eyes if it did bother you so much then you wouldn't do it....but you always do. Good luck.

Answer 6

This is the same thing that happens to me but i'm not married i'm 11 and i share room with my brother but when i clean my room it becomes a mess like in 10 minutes but then i just throw his stuff to a side and his 8yrs.

Answer 7

I have to agree with Gypsy? As far as the 5 yr old make a game out of it. That's what I did with my son & it worked now of course he's 11 & expects to get paid for doing chores!! Also I stopped during my boyfriends laundry when he wouldn't help out. He ran out of clothes to wear & begged me to do it I told him he needed to help me before I would help him!

Answer 8

Take away the TV remote till they clean their mess.

Answer 9

Go on strike again, but hit 'em where it hurts! No meals, no washing, and no night-time goodies for Daddy.

Answer 10

MAKE THE KID DO SOMETHING & INCREASE RESPONISIBILITIES, OR HE WILL BECOME MY 16 YR OLD KID, WHO CAN'T COOK A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!
YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK THE DAD, DON'T YOU?