Looking for suggestions on helping my 11 month old quit the soother...?

Question

I know there are a lot of questions about this here, but I haven't found any for this age group. I'd like him to quit using it before he's 12 months old. He's too young to understand anything like a soother fairy story. He only uses it on long car trips and during naps. I'm wondering if I should I go gradually or break it all at once? Any suggestions?

:o)
Okay for those of you who don't know, a soother is a pacifier - sorry about that...

Answer 1

Ahh... the great pacifier debate...
Babies need to suck... it's natural.
Why are you trying so soon?

My baby loves her soo-soo too. She's a sucker and had her hand in her mouth at all my fetal assessments before she was born (I had gestational diabetes so we saw her lots.)

I gave her a pacifier in the hospital the 2nd night after she was born (because the nurses wanted me to feed her every time they saw her with her hand in her mouth.) We've never had a problem with it, (no nipple confusion, no demanding it all the time) but we only give it to her in her crib (we keep a spare in there too in a consistent location so she can find it during the night if the first one goes missing in her blankets or gets tossed out.) She also uses it in her car seat and occasionally at church when she gets all riled up and we can't quiet her down any other way. Otherwise we just keep it COMPLETELY out of sight and entertain her with other toys. During the day she only wants it if she sees it.

Sure a pacifier is a bit of a crutch, but if it soothes your baby there's nothing wrong with that. We all need (and deserve) a little soothing now and again.

Just my opinion, but I wouldn't toss it just yet if I were you. And certainly watch out if you do and he starts sucking his thumb which you can't take away, will certainly wreck his teeth if you can't stop him eventually and is a much harder habit to break later. If it was me I would just continue to provide a soother but restrict it's use.

Most pediatricians and dentists seem to advise to take it away around 24 months before it wrecks his teeth or the shape of his palate. (Lots of BabyCentre articles on pacifier use seem to say if it's only being used at night then until age 5 or so is fine, but that seems way too long to me.)

I always keep in mind that I know a few kids that sucked a pacifier too much or too long and it not only eventually affects their dental development (which can be costly in orthodontics later), but it also may cause a delay in speaking and some motor skills if over used. Knowing this has always kept me from over using it. My daughter certainly doesn't need (or get) a pacifier every time she cries.

Limiting use the way we have we have a healthy happy 11 month old who's walking and chattering away all day long and likes a soother at night, but tosses them both out of her crib on her own by morning.

We plan to restrict it to in her bed only at 18 months, give her the whole "big girls don't need soothers" song and dance, and cut the tip when she turns 2. This worked for a good friend of mine.

Or maybe (after reading a bit more about pacifier weaning today...) we'll tell her a soother fairy story, replace it with some other little gift that she wants and be done with it once she's old enough to understand our reasoning with her. (And when she's not so likely to just jam her thumb in her mouth as a replacement.)

Her birthday is in late November and I just read another story (link below) about someone who took them away at Christmas and said they were trading them with Santa for toys. He'd take the soothers away to other little babies that needed them. Cute...

Not sure it's fair and I don't think I'd do this except maybe as a last resort if my first plans all failed, but I also heard a pediatrician on TV once say that he'd asked the dentist to tell his kids when he brought them in that they shouldn't have soothers anymore when they were 2 and to throw it out while at the dentist's office. That way he could say, "What did Dr. So-and-so say? No soothers!" and put it on the dentist.

Another person I know told her kid to toss it out the car window and she did. So then when the kid asked for it Mom told her "Well YOU threw it out the window!!" (I don't plan on using that one either, but maybe this teaches a valuable lesson about tossing things out the window too :-)

If you do choose to go ahead with getting rid of it now, slow withdrawal is the best method at any age. Pacifier weaning should be done with empathy. Don't attempt to banish the "binky" if your child is experiencing some kind of trauma, such as the birth of a sibling or your return to the work. Wait until the homefront is calm.

When you do start limiting its use, be sensitive to the times when your son really seems to need it. Cut out those times last. Many children use a pacifier to make getting to sleep easier or to soothe themselves after an upset or injury. It may help to establish new bedtime rituals. Offer plenty of hugs while attempting to overcome reliance on a pacifier.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Take it away cold turkey. That's what I did with bottles, nuks, and most everything.

By the way--it might change my answer if I knew what a soother was. I hear about it all the time and have NO idea what they are.

Okay sorry I didn't know! Yep--been there done that. Just take it away and toss it. It's just a burden. Does he have a routine? The best thing to do is stick to the routine (or have one for a week) then take the soother away. Don't act any differently about it. Best of Luck!

Thanks for letting me know--I always was like HUH? What is that and skipped questions because of it and now I can answer them all!

Answer 3

I've always liked Haley, but make sure that whatever you choose definitely sounds good when you yell it. that is the real test as to how it sounds all together with the first middle and last. Also, maybe Brooke, Savannah, maybe Addison for a middle name. I know they are a little old fashioned, but they're cute. Something a little more modern maybe could be Kaylie, or Katie, Hollie, and Jennay Carly. Those are some of the ones i helped my sis pick out. maybe go buy or look up online for a baby names book/list. Those can help a lot sometimes! Good Luck! And best wishes!

Answer 4

I only used the pacifier for my children at naps and bedtime. When I took the pacifier away, I simply told them it had to be thrown away and let them put it in the trash. My son asked for it that night and I reminded him that we threw it away and he was fine and went to sleep without it. Children may be upset for a day or two, but they will eventually be just fine. Sometimes it is harder on the parent. In the long run, the sooner you quit the pacifier, the better. As time goes on the child becomes more attached and it is better for dental reasons too.

Answer 5

Every baby is different. My son is eight months old. He used to use his binky alot! I have noticed though, that the past like 2 months, he's been wanting it less and less. He's gradually let go of it on his own. So my suggestion to you would probably be to gradually wean him off of it. On long car trips try soothing music, that's what I do.

Answer 6

basically we ended up just taking them and tossing them in the trash at around 8 months. we would give her some warm milk before bed and we would rock her and try to get her to learn how to soothe herself. He may cry a bit. Which is heart breaking, but it does pass, now she has tons of teddies she sleeps with (shes 15 months now) and when we tuck her in we have to give her kisses along with her teddies. LOL

Answer 7

Never should have given him the soother to begin with. It causes deterioration of the teeth, and has been known to also cause teeth to come out crooked. Easiest to start with taking it away on the car rides first, then the naps.

Answer 8

Go cold turkey. Just tell him no more soothers and throw them out, it will be a hard first few days but it doesn't take them long to get used to it. Just don't give in and give him one! Throw them out or cut them so you won't be tempted

Good luck!

Answer 9

Although most doctors don't worry about breaking a baby of it until 2 years old, you can try snipping the end off with a pair of scissors. The baby won't want it anymore.

Answer 10

Why would you want to take it away? Most kids will break themselves of it usually between their 2nd and 3rd birthdays. Why would you want to take away something that gives him security and comfort...I don't understand.