i had an affair with a guy 6 yrs. ago for 2 yrs. now i'm getting married to another guy. i have no feelings for my x-bf in my heart but i don't wanna hide anything to my husband. how safe will it be to tell about the relation i had with another guy six yrs. ago?
2006-10-23 04:55:06 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly speaking, I'd advice you not to tell your husband about it because most men always carry their egos as baggage, knowingly or unknowingly. It's a man thing, you see. So even if he's the coolest, chilled out fella, it will always stay in his mind that he wasn't the first. There will be people telling you to be honest, but at times it's best to be wise than sorry. For a man to speak of his past conquests is like an ego-booster but to hear his wife boast of similar conquests is an ego deflater. So just let things be as they are. If and when a situation arises where both the men come face-to-face, then introduce your ex as an old friend. And control your body language and demeanour so as not to arouse any suspicion. That's about it. Remember that a relationship is also a mind game where you have to think on your feet at times to avoid cracks developing.
2006-10-23 05:12:06 · answer #1 · answered by Kamal S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him anything that could be construed in a negative manner. Not every shred of our past deserves to be dragged out into the light every time you start a new relationship. Many people feel threatened by the past; let the sleeping dogs lie. Be honest, but don't dwell on the details, and don't bring it up unless he's sincerely curious about it. (Most of the time, however, guys demand an answer not out of curiousity, but out of misplaced jealousy and insecurity; however, your past is yours, and yours alone, and only you can make a judgement whether or not you wish to discuss it with anyone.)
2006-10-23 05:10:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends, is the guy you are going to marry the guy you cheated on? If not then you should be able to tell him that you had a relationship with this other person. Have you already had the Who have you slept with talk? Are you still in contact with this guy you used to sleep with? How does your future husband feel about keeping in touch with old bedfellows? how do you feel about his feelings?
I think that if you have a "I want you to know everything about me and i want to know everything about you" kind of talk - and all this stuff is in the past and you present it as a life lesson - would never repeat it again thing - you should be fine..
2006-10-23 05:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by mraandmisse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not safe.
If you're being honest and have no feelings for this old flame and you won't cheat on your husband then it's best not to tell him.
If you do, he may feel betrayed and call off the wedding. You can trust your word but he may not trust that you're not going to do it again. It's in the past, your relationship survived through it, you got over the ex and now it's best to move on... never look back.
2006-10-23 05:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should sleep with him again just to make sure you're done with it. If he's not willing, find another guy (or more than one) who you can ride for a long time. Heck...walk into your local watering hole, have a couple drinks, then ask all the guys there to have their way with you. You need to get this out of your system. Invite you fiancee to watch so he can see the real you.
2006-10-23 05:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how it even relates to your current situation. If your future husband was not in anyway involved than you telling him is entirely up to you. There's no need to disclose that certain demon unless you feel it's necessary for him to know. Mine knows I've cheated in the past, because I wanted him to be aware that I'm not perfect, not that, that gives me an excuse to misbehave but I wanted him to know. Maybe part of me was because if I did it to him I could say "see, I told you I was like this"... is that your motivation?
2006-10-23 05:16:20 · answer #6 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you have been having an an affair? Were you married to one of these guys or dating the guy you are about to marry or........? It sounds to me you have feelings for your x-boyfriend or you wouldn't be asking this question. You dated him for two years and are still thinking enough of him to ask this question. How over him are you really?
2006-10-23 05:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by Braveheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the past go. It happened before you met your husband now if you do not wish to repeat the same again you need not mention it.
You can be truthful to your husband yes but you must know what he will think once you tell him
2006-10-23 05:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is very unimportant leave the past in the past. If you havn't done anything wrong in this relationship it shouldn't even matter leave it in the past because I think if you tell him now he will have this insecurity for the rest of his life like how do I know she wouldn't do that to me know what I mean?
2006-10-23 06:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by Adamng 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that being perfectly honest with him about it may be an indication of how loyal you want to be to him, since you're not trying to hide yoru past from him.
2006-10-23 04:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋