My soon to be ex-husband (who is living w/ his mother) is demanding a key to the locks that I changed or he said he would have all of our (me and our 4 yr old) utilities turned off. He abandoned us for an internet romance that didnt work out. He leaves threatening voice messages on my cell phone and he is still trying to control me through fear and intimidation. My divorce will be final by the 31st and I'm just trying to keep my sanity.. Someone please advise.
2006-10-23 04:53:30 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get a restraining order against him.
2006-10-23 04:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by Grasshopper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN...don't walk and get a restraining order...this guy sonds like a loose cannon...you have a child to protect as well as yourself. I have been there and done that and you need to help yourself. Restraining orders are no promise that he will stay away but it is a start. He sounds like he is an absolute control freak. Document all of his inappropriate behavior, which sounds like all of his behavior.
If there is a way you can leave your current living situation and NOT let him know where you are you need to do that and soon. His anger won't subside once things are final, I don't mean to scare you but it sounds like you need to be afraid, being scared is not always a bad thing. Perhaps this is extreme but I would consider getting a gun if you can't get out. He's a childish bully who is blaming you for what a mess he has made out of things.
Keep records, record his threats. I know this isn't easy, I really have been there. My ex would damage my car, threaten me and worse. I was lucky and was able to reason with his parents who got him in line....could you talk to his mother?....shrink his world, don't let him know you are afraid...that is what he wants. good luck to you, it gets better.
2006-10-23 05:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get the utilities put in your name. Tell them a divorce is pending and he is threating to have them turned off. He sounds like real ***. If you want to be completely free of him you will have to get his name off of everything that involves you. Most of the time, a simple call to the gas. electirc, phone, etc, can get the change over done in just minutes or hours. Make the calls first, before he calls once he has them turned off you are in a worse position. Take this part of the control away from him. And get a restraining order against him! Good luck girl!
2006-10-23 05:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't change the locks.
Second, save the voice messages and head downtown to file a lawsuit for harassment. Also, file for a restraining order against him.
If you have proof [the messages], it'll be even better.
It's his own fault that you left him, he abandoned you and your child. During a custody battle, be sure to let the justice system know this, because with his actions he doesn't deserve to have custody of his children at all.
Your property is your property, so with a restraining order he can't step onto your property unless he wants to get locked up.
And, change the utility bills from his name to yours! As long as you're paying the bill they will not shut them off. They can't take a request, "Please shut off the electricity and water" for a family with a child under 5 anyway.
2006-10-23 05:05:59 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get all of the utilities changed over to your name and get a restraining order. The way I got my ex to leave me alone was to move far enough that he would not drive that far. Sorry if this dosn't help. I know, easier said than done.
2006-10-23 04:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by julie_loves_music 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a lawyer dealing with your divorce then you tell him. However if you have you utilities in his name then I suggest you call your local electic and gas company and get your utilities put into your name and while your out I suggest that you get a restraining order on this CRAZY man! Good luck!
2006-10-23 04:59:28 · answer #6 · answered by miss_peaches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order against him. Hve your attorney in the divorce proceedings go for supervised visitation if you feel he is a threat to the well being of the child.
2006-10-23 04:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a restraining order save the threatning voice messages to show to the police
2006-10-23 05:11:24 · answer #8 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the utilities in your name and forget about him. Thats why hes the X hun. He doesnt need keys to your house anymore.
2006-10-23 06:02:34 · answer #9 · answered by babygirl_k2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a restraining order,get the utilities in your name, he wants you back and your too smart for that, so he is trying to control you hoping your going to give in and take him back. have your cell phone number changed.he is a controller who aggressively manipulates your boundaries. his choices in life has created this, and he isn't happy with the outcome.
2006-10-23 05:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT GIVE HIM A KEY, CHANGE THE UTILITIES, CHANGE PHONE NUMBER, GET RESTRAINING ORDER, ARRANGE AN INTERMEDIATOR FOR VISITATIONS, CUT OFF ALL CONTACT. CONTROL FREAKS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LET GO, PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!
2006-10-23 05:14:44 · answer #11 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋