Husband told me he divorced her. Divorce happened in CA supposedly. I do not know which county it supposedly happened in. His brother won't tell me if he really is divorced. He said he doesn't want to get involved. "X-wife" lives at husbands mother's house with husband's former 3 children. Called the house one time, and x-wife said, "I'm not married, don't call here again!" Its what the brother-in-law doesn't say that gives me the impression that husband is still married. Husband sleeps at mother's house once a month. Hard to believe he isn't sleeping with her?
2006-10-23 04:22:05 · 15 answers · asked by Hicktown girl66 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He will not introduce me to his mother. He has never taken me to his mother's house before. He says he goes to his mother's house just to visit her. He and his mother live in different cities.
2006-10-23 04:32:31 · update #1
Ask him where he was divorced in California, it is a matter of public record. But please realize there are so many red flags up for this relationship and it is not impossible.
I once dated a man for a long time and one day received a call on my job from his wife. We started talking and I realized this woman was not the ex-wife I knew about. The more we shared I found out he had married her some 15 years earlier, but due to the fact he was in an industry that required a lot of travel our paths never crossed (I lived in another state). She had started digging and ran across another woman who she believed him to be married to --- this is the same woman I thought was his ex because I spoke to her all the time.
Long story short he was married to both of them! He and I were engaged and his mother knew about the one I was speaking of but not about me or the second Ms. so and so....men are capable of anything. I kept asking where he divorced his wife and where he got married -- needless to say after much digging in both counties and states I found where he said he got divorced to one is where he actually was married and vice versa.
I would not take this lightly I almost became wife number 3 and he was a really nice guy. :( He even cried and told all of us how the other was lying etc. Even his 2nd wife who really wasn't legally supposed to be his wife was in on the lie from me and the first wife. She was benefiting from her own job by being married to him.
Needless to say people are scandolous so if in doubt please check it out.
2006-10-23 07:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This rule was made during the time the Hebrews were fighting for their survival as a people. Remember there were no DNA test kits to establish paternity at that time: adultery meant the possibility of someone else's child inheriting land, carrying on the family name, passing on unwanted genes. Yes, it was harsh, but no more harsh than some other rules passed in other cultures to ensure survival. And "lying with a woman married to a husband" enforces this idea: if a man is sleeping with a woman who's not married, the man can be forced to marry the woman and support any child he fathered with her. If he sleeps with a married woman, the husband gets stuck with supporting the other man's child. But more importantly this command emphasizes the sacredness of the marriage contract. BTW, how many times in the Jewish scripture does it ever record the death penalty being carried out for adultery?
2016-05-22 01:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why exactly is your husband sleeping at his mothers house once a month? Why are you not with him then? When you married him didn't they ask for his divorce decree from his previous marriage when you went to the courthouse? When I got remarried they asked for that. Why is his ex living at his mothers house? I would say you don't feel comfortable with him sleeping at his mothers house. If he says he has to I would be with him every single time he did. It just sounds a little funny to me. If he is still married he is a bigamist. I would ask him to see his divorce papers. If he says he can't find them ask what courthouse they were filed at. Dig deep to find out. Have you spoke with his mother? Do the two of you get along? Ask her about the situation. Good Luck
2006-10-23 04:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the court house and look up divorce decree. or go on line to the county records in the state the divorce took place. also if you are not legally married, it is highly probable that they are still married, check it out. good luck.
2006-10-23 04:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he has never introduced u to his mom nor bring u to his moms house.. and his brother said that he doesnt want to get involved.. and ex wife and children lives at hubbys mom's house.. well u huv to open ur eyes.. u must be his " lover " only and not the " wife ".. and his "ex wife" is still his wife and never got divorced..
if he has problems with lying.. means dont trust him.. go and leave him.. find someone else that will respect and truly love u. goodluck!
use ur head, follow ur instincts.. and not just ur heart.
2006-10-23 05:00:55 · answer #5 · answered by kenshi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if I was in this particular situation I would have to do alittle research to find out the truth. you can search on the internet for divorces I would also question what is really goin on with her living at his mothers this is not a tipical situation for a divorced couple also find out is she there when he stays at his mothers what I see is there is something definately wrong with this situation bottom line protect yourself you never know!
2006-10-23 04:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by dreamsangelslove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, I'm sorry for your situation. It really sounds you've gotten yourself into someone else's drama inadvertantly. I recently have stepped in a big pile of poo myself and can't seem to scrape the stanky crap off!
I think you should free yourself and not live with these suspicions, cause I highly doubt it will get better.
2006-10-23 04:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First tell me how his three kids can be his former kids. Unless that is not his biological kids, and when he met her he took the responsibility to be their step-father after marriage without adopting them then sweetie it would be his former kids. But if he is indeed the biological father or their adopted father that is his kids indifinently.
Okay, is the wife and kids living at his mother's home without his mother or are they living with his mother at the mothers' house? If his mother is living there and letting them stay there as well, it seems strange that the supposedly ex-wife is not out of his family's life yet if they are divorced. But if she is the head of household of that house and his mother is deceased or not residing there at all then one possibility is that he is the owner of the house and through divorce proceedings she was awarded the house because they have kids together.
Girl let me tell you from experience do not be a snoop. You make it harder on yourself. Yeah it may be cute at first because it shows him that you care and are jealous but it gets old don't you think. I know you want answers, but the last person you want to ask is his "ex-wife," assuming that is his ex. It makes you look like the bad person. It makes you out to be the bad person. You do not know what kind of lies she might have told him about you and what you said after that phone call. You gave her power over you then.
If you can't get reliable answers from him, I think that he has a problem telling the truth not him having problems lying. Do not rely on the brother at all he may not be looking out for your best interest. For all you know he himself may have feelings for you, he may not want to see his brother happy, maybe he does have something that he wants to withhold from you because he loves his brother and thinks the world of the "ex," or maybe he just don't want to get involved. You see what I am getting at. It could be a multiple of reasons for his brothers' attitude about the situation. So do not beat yourself up with his brother response, his brother is an outside person darling, this is you and your boyfriends' relationship. Keep outsiders where they need to be and that is outside.
When he spends the night over at the house once a month that is creating intent for them two to do what ever they want. Listen if they are divorced and he is spending a night out of the month over there that spells trouble. Reconciliation maybe the reason. Worst yet it they are not divorce and he is doing that he hasn't found closure with her. She and the kids are on his mind enough to make him go back and spend the night. Think about it he could easily have gone and picked the kids up, take them out, spend some time with them at a movies, dinner, park your house whatever and drop them off home right? But he didn't. Instead he made it a night cap like old times. And to spend the night with her that is inexcusable.
Here is what you do to get the power and upper hand again. Invite the kids over some days. Take baby steps though. Once a month than if all goes good on the weekends, or invite them over to have a family dinner, spend time together on their birthdays you know how to do it girl we are females. Think girl don't lose focus. If you love him and want a future with them accept the kids, and show everyone that your presence is known and kept and that you plan to be in his and the kids life for good. Do not be a nag or a nuisance and show him that you trust him, love him and are willing to stay with him.
Get in good with everyone girl.Him, his brother, the kids mother, and the kids. Apologize to the kids mother and throw her some excuse for calling her asking her that marriage/divorce question because you wanted to open up to her and you didn't know how. If not it can turn sour for you. There is no telling what he is thinking after you called his kids mother. Now gain his and her trust back. Let them see the nice side of you. Not the ugly side. Believe me if there is anything that you should know it will come to surface eventually God will show you on its own time, not yours.
If you want to know if he is really divorced, go to your states website for marriage and death information. First go to a search engine site like yahoo.com then in the query box enter marriage records for the state of-then enter your state. You know his name and hers right? Okay now you are on your way because it is public information girl they will tell you any public information. It is called the "right to know clause." If you want any other questions answered, email me at starsmoonis@yahoo.com. Good Luck. ;)
2006-10-23 05:25:51 · answer #8 · answered by starsmoonis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LIKE YOU SAID ITS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS NOT SLEEPING WITH HER ESPECIALLY IF YOU ONLY SEE HER ONCE A MOS., I THINK YOUR HUNCH IS RIGHT AND YOU BETTER CONFRONT HIM NICELY AND YOU HIRE A P.I. TO SEE THE RECORDS OF HIS MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE IN WHATEVER PLACE IT IS.
2006-10-23 04:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the marriage would be in public records find out from that state
2006-10-23 04:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by Juleette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋