Me and my live-in boyfriend got in a fight on our anniversary on thursday (oct. 19) I mean screaming and everything, and I grabbed some stuff and my son and left. He says he's been getting physically sick lately with how much we've been fighting. He really doesn't look to good. And its only been for about 3 weeks because we've both been high stress. So when I called him after I left he said he wanted to break up, but when i went to get sum stuff saturday night, we kissed and we layed in bed together for a lil bit. I love him with everyhitng in me and he said he feels the same. But how do i convice him to give me a second chance to show him I will quit blowing up on him? The thought of losing him scares the hell out of me. He gives me the cant eat cant sleep butterflies, and these last 4 days without him have been miserable. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. So what should I do to win him back and show him the girl he fell in love with is still here and needs him?
2006-10-23 04:17:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i think you guys should maybe go to couples counseling. they say it's not fighting that's bad, it's HOW you fight. you guys don't know how to fight the right way and should learn how. you can also look up info on the web about fighting the right way. it's obvious you two love each other so try to work it out and tell him how you're going to try to change.
2006-10-23 04:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by painfullyaverage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you fight about? If it is important and serious, like him cheating, him abusing your son, him beating you, then you need to just say goodbye. But if it is stupid things like him forgetting to throw out the garbage, him not helping enough with the chores or cleaning up after himself, etc, then you need to realize what's important; is it being right by screaming and demeaning him, or having a loving boyfriend and perhaps eventually husband that has a few messy habits but takes good care of you and your son? Remember this every time you open your mouth to start screaming at him. Look at it from his point of view and hold your tongue. Men are pretty slow when it comes to figuring out what they need to do to help out. You need to convince him you are going to work on it by going to see a therapist or counselor for your anger because you have trouble communicating when you're angry. Tell him that, but don't immediately assume all the blame for the fighting. If you do, he'll think he can walk all over you because you have a guilty conscience from yelling at him. Any time you get angry and want to fight remember your son and realize that he's going to be the same way with women when he grows up if he sees you two fighting all the time. He may never want to have a serious relationship with a woman because he assumes that it includes her verbally abusing him. Good luck with everything and God bless.
2006-10-23 04:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may not be anything you can do. I've heard how much you "love" him, but not what you're willing to do to change. Love is an action, not a feeling. If you're already having this much trouble, this early on, you may be fighting a losing battle. Usually people break apart for a reason, it'll only gets worse if you go back and break up again. Finding Mr. Right isn't the solution, being Mrs. Right is.
2006-10-23 04:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by ezenbrowntown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you shouldnt have to convince him that you still want to be together. a real relationship takes work and compromise. and if one of you ae getting physcially sick then it is probaly best that you all take a break from one another. if you feel that need to pack your stuff and leave like you are coming back then yo shouldnt. you two are playung childish games with one another. i hope that your child doesnt witness this behavior because you teaching them it is okay to act like that. you know everyone argues but it get a little ridcules when everytime you fight, you take the child and storm out like you are not coming back. dont get me wrong i am not blaming it all on you,because im not. he plays mental games with you as well. i think the two of you would do just fine with some time apart. if either one of you you are threating the other with "break up" than maybe you should. as they say if you set the one you love free and they return he was always yours but if he doesnt return he was never yours in the begining. girlfriend you need to stop trying to win him back and try winning yourself back. if you dont trully have love and happiness within your self you are not going to be able to give someone else that love and happiness.
2006-10-23 04:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by yaya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, if he realy loves you he should take you back.
you didn't say how long you guys have been together? You guys should fight and make up. We don't know what the fight was about. But you should never of left home, you should of asked him to leave and if he left then he would be the one wanting you back.
2006-10-23 04:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by lollypop_za 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard. Give it time, you both have to cool off...once you've both have done this you will have a clear mind and can sit down and rationally talk to one another. Relationships are difficult...if you both love each other, things will work out....tell him what you are feelilng, the main thing is open up and talk DON'T scream...this will get nowhere. Remember there is a child involved.
2006-10-23 06:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by reina l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of co-dependency? It's much like what you have here. You fight like cats and dogs, deep down you know your relationship is unhealthy for both of you and your child, but you can't give it up. I know it's tough, but the best thing you can do is try to get over him. Good luck.
2006-10-23 04:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by brillantnut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your bf seems to be more patient than i. but i'd accept a sincere apology for the same reason (except infidelity) a couple of times. also, actions really speak louder than words --even if you have to verbalize a lot of things in a relationship. be a worthy partner too. i think he still loves you, so just go straight up to him and tell him everything you mentioned here.
2006-10-23 04:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of fussing and cussing, you both need to learn to discuss issues, because as you see, it is not good for you or your son. Will the two of you be willing to go to a counselor, so you can try to cope with your issues? it will be worth it, if you love each other!
2006-10-23 04:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love him, learn how to swallow ur pride, talk to him about everything u/he wants and needs to know.. prove to him that u r worth it for his love.. for sure he loves u too.. but just in hesitant.. dont wait for the day he will feel and say that he is fed up with things happening with the two of u...
2006-10-23 04:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by kenshi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋