I was in a relationship with a man for 4 1/2 years. He was abusive mentally and physically and he was an alcoholic. About 1 year ago I left him and filed a restraining order against him. He got a 4th offense drunk driving and for over 10 months he has quit drinking and thinks we should try to get back together. Well the problem is there are so many bad memories and when I left him his family protected him and I was the evil one. None of them will talk to me anymore and I didn't do anything wrong. My kids and my co-workers are totally against us getting back together, but I still care about him deeply. I remember the good times when he wasn't drinking and I believe people can change. My concern is I've wasted 5 years of my life and now wonder if I would be wasting more time if I went back to him. I'm so confused and maybe some advice is needed. What should I do give it a shot or completely call it quits.
2006-10-23 04:08:20 · 5 answers · asked by Marianne2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree Once an alcoholic, always one.
Your kids don't want you to take him back, so why in the world would you take him back and put your kids in his life if they don't want you too.
Do what you think is best for you and your KIDS
2006-10-23 04:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by lollypop_za 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's extremely difficult to stay in a relationship after there's alcohol involved. I know...I'm an ex-alcoholic myself. And I'm single.
Things just are never going to be the same. People change dramatically when they quit drinking, and someone in your position (the non-drinker) will have a tremendous time adjusting.
Counseling should be in order for both of you.....if you want to work it out.....
If the kids are his it's definately worth a shot......
It's a constant battle that you're going to have to fight as well...
If you really love him go for it........Don't let family members influence your decision.....
Good luck ! ! !
2006-10-23 11:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once an alcoholic, always one. Seriously...alcoholics are always 'recovering' and it's a big beast they never forget. I would advise against it - and move on. And you might need some therapy...sounds like his mental abuse took a toll on your self-esteem. My sister is going through something very similar and I feel for you.
2006-10-23 11:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by empress_pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this person hasn't stopped drinking and changed his ways by now you are wasting your time with him. there's someone out there that you can love that doesn't drink.
if you go to church then pray about it. ask God to help both of you. God can and will give you the right answers if you ask and trust in him. i'm telling you this becauce i know first hand. God changed things for us and i know he can do the same for you. i will pray for you.
2006-10-23 11:21:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get over the bad memories then it would do you no good to get back in that relationship.
2006-10-23 11:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by wingedgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋