I am married, and I have a baby that is one, and I am pregnant again even with using protection. I feel like a loser and a bum. I am at work righ now and I can't stop crying because I feel like a complete loser. I used to look at people who had tiny babies and were pregnant again like they were crazy, and now I may be one of them. I feel like puking because I am so ashamed of myself.
2006-10-23 04:01:34 · 33 answers · asked by micheele l 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You are going to be okay sweetheart...you need a hug! This same thing happened to me! My first two kids are only 13 months apart! I felt so bad!! Even after the baby was born; i suffered from depression. I didn't want another baby so soon. I hope you get over these feelings before the baby is born; otherwise you will take it out on him/her! The first thing you need to do is accept what has happened and look at the bright side! I know you feel like crap right now....but things have got to get better! If you want to chat, IM me. I have 5 kids! Maybe i can help you to work thru these feelings you have...okay??
2006-10-23 04:08:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't be so down on yourself. You are not a loser or a bum and there's no reason you should feel ashamed of yourself. It will be difficult, but you will survive. Please don't take your frustrations out on the baby you already have or the one you are carrying. Take care of yourself and make sure you ask for help when you need it. Hopefully people will not be as judgemental of you as you were of them in thinking they were crazy for being pregnant and already having a tiny baby. I'm sure you'll be more understanding now when you see other pregnant women with babies. If you allow yourself some time to accept this pregnancy, then hopefully you'll be able to see it in a different light and look at it in a positive way. You must be a wonderful mother for God to bless you with another baby! Good luck!
2006-10-23 04:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by Julie F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't disgusting or shameful. You are a married woman with a job, at least you have a way to care for your babies. You are not the first and you definitely are not going to be the last person to have children back to back. Your children are a blessing, there are plenty of woman who would love to be able to have at least one baby and you are going to have two. Just hope that your baby is born healthy and thank the Lord for your ability to procreate and think about it this way, if you got pregnant while using protection then your baby was definitely meant to be and they say that you wont be given a burden that you cannot bear. So keep your head up and don't ever worry about what others think or say. No one is perfect. Besides even celebrities are doing it, look at Brittany Spears and maybe even Angelina Jolie (lol). I hope that makes you smile. Good luck and please count your blessings. Take this from someone who had three children back to back (they are 12, 13, & 14). My husband and I are doing fine and guess what? All of those who had something negative to say when I was having my children now wish that they had done the same because my husband and I are able to go out on dates and things without worrying about a babysitter (We also have a 16 year old). And I was using protection when I got pregnant with my 13 year old, but the medication that I was taking counteracted the birth control.
2006-10-23 04:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by juicie813 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry that you aren't feeling well. I understand about having a baby and then getting pregnant again. My oldest two are 11 months apart. I had sex once after my oldest was born, when he was 3 months old and that was it. I don't know why you would feel like a loser or bum. Some people want to have children close in age, for me it worked out great my oldest 2 are in the same grade. Most people think they are twins. The hardest thing I had to deal with was breast feeding the babies at the same time. Having 2 children less than a year apart age wise was difficult but not impossible. Ask for help from your partner and enjoy the ride. If the ride is that horrible ask for help from a professional.
2006-10-23 04:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by samlevine05667 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honey....you are not a loser. You are a wonderful wife, with a wonderful husband....whom you obviously love. All children are a gift from God. The timing may not feel right for you....but remember God's timing is perfect. You are going to make it! Right now you are having the hormonal slumps and yes- maybe some embarrassment with being pregnant again so soon. It's okay...I know a lot of people that have siblings 15 months apart or so. You will be fine and the kids will be close in age and very closely bonded.
2006-10-23 04:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by kizkat 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel like that. All children no matter how far and in between they make come are all gifts from God. Seem to me if you became pregnant with protection it was meant for you to have this baby. Your hormones are probably also doing a number on you right now. Don't be ashamed and don't think or yourself has a loser nor a bum. Find comfort within a friend or your church.
2006-10-23 04:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by mkay_gonzalez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NOT AT ALL!!! My son just turned one, and i am 14 weeks pregnant with our third. Sure, we will be busy, but we are married, pretty well off, and love kids!!!
Feel blessed that you have this gift of having another baby, as there are so many out there who would give anything to have even one!
Don't worry about other people!! And a lot could be hormones, and a million thoughts of what to do, how to handle it, and so on and so forth. But your children will be instant playmates. And they will learn so much from each other. It really is a good thing!!
It could be worse, my cousins were 11 months apart!!!!!
Good luck and be HAPPY!!!!
Congrats!
2006-10-23 04:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by 3rdtimesacharm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so hard on yourself. Release your old feelings on pregnant people that have very small children. It can achieve nothing but being upset...which isn't healthy for you or your baby on the way. Now you know that some of those people you had bad feelings about were not being irresponsible or bums, but that some of them were just like you...someone that took precautions to avoid pregnancy that didn't work. Most birth control is only 99% (or less) effective. Someone has to to be that 1-2%. And remember, a lot of the bad emotional feelings you are having is just hormones talking...and these early pregnancy hormones don't last forever.
2006-10-23 04:27:17 · answer #8 · answered by JordanB 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, don't feel bad at all. Babies are blessings, and you are married and have a job, so your not a bum. Look at it this way-
1) You must be lookin' pretty good after baby no.1, or baby no.2 wouldn't be here.
2) There are women who try for ages to have babies out there. I tried for a year and a half for my second one.
3) You are probably so hormonal right now(because of the pregnancy), go home, take a hot bath, and relax. This will all look better soon.
4) Make the vasectomy appointment for your husband TODAY.
2006-10-23 04:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You aren't a loser or a bum! It happens! i got pregnant when I was on the pill. Just look at it as a blessing, not as something horrible. Just try to think of happy times with your first, they grow so fast- I know for me this first year flew by! And now I don't have a little infant, so when I see one, it makes me want another! :) If you aren't wanting another at all, think about adoption? i wish you the best, everything works out how it is supposed to in the end I feel. Take care!
2006-10-23 04:08:23 · answer #10 · answered by m930 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋