2006-10-23 03:58:01 · 10 answers · asked by John H 1 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
An attractive women, just because she's attractive, are like honey to flies... all the deadbeats go after her first.
At least in the teenage and young adult years, "nice guys" are usually more passive and less willing to go after a woman and force themselves on her. They're also a little unsure of themselves and feel awkward. And they're less liable to present themselves in the "best light" and instead act more like themselves -- so it's "what you see is what you get."
Deadbeats, on the other hand, see the women more as attractive objects they can "acquire" in order to feel successful and virile and brag about to their friends. They do less to rein in their sex drive and are more directed by it.
They also are willing to pretend to be something they are not (i.e., pretending that they care, showering gifts, saying the right things, offering lots of attention) in order to get the girl hitched to them.
(Even the "average" woman would have trouble pushing away some guy who she's indifferent to, who keeps pursuing her and doing lots of things to get her attention, if no other guys are coming after her and the "deadbeat" at the moment seems attentive. He looks okay at the moment, he seems to really care, and she has little reason to doubt him.)
By the time the deadbeat starts showing his true colors, the woman has already formed an emotional bond to him and it's very difficult for her to break it.
(You see this a LOT -- the woman knows she needs to dump the guy, she knows he's bad for her, she realizes he was just using her... but she already cares about him anyway, made a commitment to him, wants to help him "get better," and hopes beyond hope that he might one day change.)
This goes away somewhat with age. Older "nice guys" are more assertive and confident because of their experiences, and attractive older women have learned how to read men and their intentions better, and know the best things to look for.
2006-10-23 05:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who says they are deadbeat? Is it the woman or is it the guy on the outside wanting the woman?
My serious answer is: Really attractive women sometime think that they are only being loved because they are beautiful, so they look for someone who appreciates them for other qualities, when in the end they find someone who doesn't appreciate them at all.
2006-10-23 04:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by quinn-merritt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm I quite like rough guys myself...but I'm not quite sure why. All I know is that sometimes nice guys can be suffocating sometimes.Plus, after having a rough/tough love relationship with my parents, its what I'm used to and therefore tend to fall for guys that have a similar view on relationships. This could be the case with your ex. And yeah, bad guys are sometimes just more fun...but at the end of the day, the nice guy ALWAYS wins, even if it takes him a while to get there.
2016-05-22 01:09:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my daughter's case, it was because of her sense of low self-esteem. Why she had such a low opinion of herself, I'll never know. Her first boyfriends and subsequent relaionships and her ex-husband were all deadbeat scum. When she entered a relationship with a decent guy, she would end it, as if all she was worthy of were losers. I don't know what happened to cause her turnaround, she had no counseling, but she found a good job as office manager for an accounting firm, bought a house and has been in a relationship with a great guy for 3 years. It took awhile for her to realize she deserved what she has worked for, though. She is almost 43.
2006-10-23 04:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by rhymer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because, today, most people, unfortunately, are superficial, shallow nitwits who don't seem to understand that a persons' values, intelligence and beliefs are more important than how well they look perched on a barstool in a club, and women are no exception.
And, to be serious, women are natural nurturers. We want to 'fix' people, help them, make them 'all better'. This is an admirable trait that, often, gets us into deep trouble.
2006-10-23 04:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by dingobluefoot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it probably is a result of low self-esteem. Just because a woman is perceived as attractive doesn't mean that that's the way she feels inside. You can look at celebrities who fall into this category too: Halle Berry, and Britney Spears are but two examples.
2006-10-23 04:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's how they treat them. But personally you always have to keep things open at are end.
2006-10-23 04:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by lilmnhockeyfan2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because it's not allways about looks, or what their spending on them. It's about how well they treat them and care for them.
2006-10-23 04:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because it's always nver matter about looks. it's about how they take care of them.
2006-10-23 04:03:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hard question to answer but I know what you mean
2016-03-05 07:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by gina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋