My partner verbally abuses me and even tried to hit me. I want to get a divorce but he threatens to fight to get full custody of our baby. This is the only thing that's holding me back.
2006-10-23 03:38:56 · 20 answers · asked by Brenda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
... and report it to whom??
"Verbal abuse" is one of those catch-phrases that means, - "I don't like what he says"
And besides, with your same definition, - how much do you "verbally abuse" him??
BTW... If he really "tried" to hit, - you'd be 'hit' already... stop the victimized woman routine.
2006-10-23 03:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by MK6 7 · 0⤊ 7⤋
There's nothing reportable about verbal abuse unless it's a threat to your health or life. It must escalate to something more than that. However, you don't have to stick around for it! Stand up for yourself. Let him know you're not going to tolerate him. You CAN report it to your lawyer and you should keep a daily jounal of all occurences (including verbal assualts) and any other proof that you can come up with to show that he's not a nice man and doesn't deserve a small child( I used articles of clothing with blood, hospital reports, etc.). Most of the time the woman gets the child anyhow, unless the man can proove the mother unfit. Don't worry about his threats. If you're in a bad relationship then it can only progress. If you know that you're financially capable to move out then more power to you. It seems that men have a way of beating us down (when they're like that) and keeping us from doing something for ourselves because of the fear the man has instilled in us. You're worth so much more than a man that's going to threaten you. That's not love. That's control. If you feel that your self-esteem is too low to take control of your life then buy some self help books, go to counseling, talk to other people about your situation other than your husband. You'll find the strength to move on if that's what you really want. And remember he can threaten you all he wants to, but those voices he's got echoing through your head will become dimmer with time away from him. If he has plenty of money to pay a lawyer then so do you....even if it's in his hands. Talk to a lawyer. Seek help. You're worth so much more than all of this. And don't you think the baby is too? God bless. Hope you find help soon. Take action honey. Noone's going to do it for you.
2006-10-23 03:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by rowster 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Brenda,
First off don't listen to some of the idiots that post on here. Don't listen to the name calling.
Second, yes you can report verbal abuse. Why? Because it's ABUSE. You can go to the police and file a report, it's justified. If he does hit you call 911. Documentation is the key.
Third, Unless your husband can find you unfit the placement of the child will be with you. Just be yourself and continue to raise your child to the best of your ability. Be a good mom and you will have no worries.
Fourth, If you feel you are trapped there are shelters that will get you out of the bad situation and placed into housing fast, because you are a mom. There are many services out there available to you. Seek them out.
And lastly, Do not stay in a bad situation for your child, this will do more harm than good for the child.
Good Luck and Bless your heart!
2006-10-23 03:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by razzyrascal 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Verbal abuse is a distinct form of spousal abuse which can be very hurtful and if done over a period of time can devastate an individual. Yes, you can report it and use it in divorce procedings. And it is shown to be very likely to continue in custody battles, so it is advised that if visitation rights are given, it is accomplished at public places or with a third party present.
2006-10-23 03:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all he can not be charged with verbal / mental abuse, but if you really want to prove what he is like, start writing it all down giving dates details., and all circumstances around each event as it happened. then take it to a lawyer, whom you want to use for the divorce itself, and have him start with a restraining order, that Will legally restrict him from coming near you. have him served at work, and on the day that is happening have the locks changed on the doors to where he lives. the proof of verbal abuse will help you win custody of baby.
2006-10-23 04:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you can use his verbal abuse in your divorce proceedings. Now is the time to start documenting each and every instance of abuse. It sounds like it will not be too hard to make this man look like the degenerate ****** he is. Staying in an abusive marriage that makes you unhappy is not only bad for you, but there will be lasting repercussions for you child. Do not let him use fear to BULLY you into staying.
2006-10-23 04:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't let him bully you any longer. There is nothing he can do to gain custody of the kids if there is a record of the abuse he has subjected you to. He can fight all he wants to gain custody but short of you being an unfit mother the law is always on your side!!!
Don't let him intimidate you and put your plan into gear right now!
2006-10-23 03:44:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
alright you have to put your two feet on the ground. Stop just accepting this crappy behavior and be strong for yourself and your baby. You have to. now i know no matter what any of us on here says your not going to listen to anyone but yourself. so im just going to put in my own small opinion. he cant get custody of your baby. your his mom the courts always rule in thefavor of good mothers dont let him intimadtae you like that you need to record his bad mouthing. like use a cell phone or a small recoder and get it on tape sometimes verbal is worse then physical dont let him hurt you anymore stand up and be strong get the proof you need to walk away so you have no worries about loosing your child. but i am going to say this. if you dont work you need to get a job. do you work? add some details on here., sometimes guys get very frustrated when there income is the only one coming in??
2006-10-23 04:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to say as I live in the UK and there may be different laws where you live. But honestly it is highly unlikely he would get custody of your child unless he has black and white evidence that you are unfit to be a mother.
2006-10-23 03:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get you and your baby to a safe place and get a restraining order on him, you need ask them where you can get help and guidance so that he cannot have the upper hand on you, knowledge is power if you know how to use it. You dont want you nor your baby to grow up in a bad situation. If he does not have anything over you to win full custody then you need something on him to prove that he is a danger to you and to your child, Please be careful. I will pray for you.
2006-10-23 03:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by rzblossom 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
so let him try and get custody, he won't be successful, unless he has proof you are a bad mother. If he treats you like trash, what makes you think the baby will be treated any better by him. Cut him loose..
2006-10-23 03:42:34 · answer #11 · answered by Pale 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋