We had a very good sex life before the baby , fore play ,games ,all the things in very sexual relationship .and it has just stopped we only have sex now twice a month if that and it is a stop drop your pants get it and go kind of thing,
2006-10-23 02:52:11 · 13 answers · asked by cowboy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Having a child and caring for one can be a VERY exhausting life change. I've seen family and friends stressed out because they aren't getting enough sleep or they are running around doing a million things to make sure their baby is properly watched after. This is draining your wife's energy and ultimately hurting her sex drive.
I recommend having a family member or a licensed nanny watch over your child for a FULL night so the two of you can go out on a date and be romantic with only each other. Rent a room somewhere nice and pretend like you guys just started dating again.
2006-10-23 02:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Assuming its not physical, it's her biggest erogenous zone, the one between the ears. It could be birth control or the lack of it. If she does not want to be pregnant again you need birth control.
Here is the big question, when was the last time you went out on a date without the kid? One of the most common problems with a new child ( 15 months is not that new) is that she may have moved into the "I'm the mom" role and forgot the "I'm a wife role. Sounds like you both need to make some couple time.
Put that kid to bed at 8:30 and save at least an hour for each other. You cannot ignore each other in the name of parenting and stay together. Make time. This is important. Do this and the sex will return. If not you will be upset and 5 years from now the kid will be starting school and she will look around and think he does not pay any attention.
Do not forget to maintain the relationship. Its why you are together. Forget to do that and things spiral downward.
2006-10-23 03:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she nurse? If so, she could be having lingering hormonal effects from that. Does she stay home with the baby? If she spends all day with a warm body clutching at her, she does NOT want another one at night. Make sure she is doing things that remind her she is "not just a Mom"- like going out with friends, going on dates with you, taking dance classes, etc. It's hard to "switch roles" from Mommy to wife just because the baby is asleep, so give her a chance to "switch roles" BEFORE the baby is asleep.
Studies show that that the best time to initiate sex is when the other person is feeling especially good about themselves. So make sure she has plenty of opportunities to feel pretty, feel confident, and feel successful. This alone will pick up her drive.
Studies also show that housework will hinder a woman's sex drive. This does not mean DOING housework- knowing there is work to be done is often enough to distract her. In other words, as long as the kitchen is a mess, that's all she's going to think about. It's not enough to say "hey, don't worry about it" because she IS going to worry about it. So eliminate that worry- hire a maid or help out yourself.
2006-10-23 03:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a usual thing post partum. Need to have her doctor check to make sure her hormones are in check, and then if that is OK, have a talk with her.
Its important part of a relationship to have a good sex life, even with kids around. Makes weekend get-aways nice when the kids are a little older and can be left with family while you and the wife have some " quality" time together.
Don't get discouraged, follow up with the medical side first, then have a long talk with her.
2006-10-23 03:00:27 · answer #4 · answered by bigmikejones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be alot of things. Having a baby is alot of work and when a woman is tired her sex drive is nonexist. Do send the baby to a sitters once in awhile or do you take the baby and let her go relax once in awhile. She may just need some rest first. Try talking to her also ask her is it bc your just too tired lately or do you just not want it period which is a sign of a hormonal imbalance that can be fixed by seeing a doctor.
2006-10-23 02:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by starrmerlan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Her focus has changed to taking care of the baby, its not that she doesn't want to have sex with you she just wants to be a good mom. Plus have you ever tried taking care of a baby 24/7 their very demanding of your time and she is tired. Try telling her how good she looks and that your very proud of her, it may take some time but in the end you both will win
2006-10-23 02:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has fallen in love with her baby. Don't worry it is only temporary and she is tired. Understand her and at the same time tell her that you need her too. You have to learn to love her more during times like this otherwise you will fall into temptation with other women. And it will break her heart and divorce is unavoidable. Tell her about your need instead of keeping it inside you. She is interested in sex, just now she is more worried about feeding her baby and keeping him clean and so on.
2006-10-23 02:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are quite sensitive, I suggest you look back at how both your lives have changed since the baby was born...remember all the good things she appreciated. If its flowers, I say spendt a week working your way to reviving that joy you two once shared. Send her a flower to work..then send her four the next day then make a dozen flowers be he first thing see sees the following day...then make petals be lead the way to the room of the one who she also loves to bits (the baby) the day after...this should be a gradual process that shouldn't be easily interpreted with I wanna get you to bed. Have her talk to you more, have her naturally smile...make her happy. That way you will be working your way to having her trust you enough to open up to you and that will enrich your bedroom experience as well. Remember, priority shouldn't be to have her make love to you often...but it should be to have be involved and enjoying herself in the process as well. Good luck.
2006-10-23 03:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be tired from taking care of the baby. Sit her down for a heart to heart talk, so as to know what is going on. Then see if you guys can get time for a romantic getaway just the two of you to rekindle the passion. Good luck!
2006-10-23 02:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by teddytrin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happens often. Try making special times for just you two after baby is asleep. Romance her, be honest. Tell her things have to change or you will live like this for rest of your life, I know!
2006-10-23 03:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋