I am a mother of 2 girls 18,and 11.They r both in school,and just your typical kids..play soccer,go to school,hang out with friends,movies,u got the picture!.Ok I have a very close friend who also has 2 girls 16 and 14.Her 16 year old dropped out of school and now lives with 3 guys,and no job,nada..The other one is still in school but has been in juvenial facilities and etc..I love my friend dearly and can't get this out of my head.I ask her how could you let your daughter drop out?how can u let her live with 3 18 year old guys,,How do I except that ,,she didnt stop them from this!!!! How do I deal with this,when it is so heartbreaking to me to see this happen??????
2006-10-23 02:49:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You thank your lucky stars that your daughters have heads on their shoulders and a mother who cares for them enough to be involved in their lives. You can't do anything about your friend's situation. Unfortunately, this has been coming for quite some time and she obviously failed to take action when she may have made some differences. Hopefully your daughters will see what's going on and choose not to go down that path!
2006-10-23 02:53:05 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend seems to be going through some hard times right now. There are probably many reasons why she let her children do what they are doing. Sit down with her, and see if she needs encouragement. We work so hard to teach our children right from wrong, and it saddens us when they choose to do terrible things. Some youths feel that it is their choice to live the way they want to, no matter what we parents say. It is usually the friends they hang around with that influence them. Your friend might of gave them to much freedom, and now is regretting it. She might feel ashamed, and does not know what to do. She might also feel jealous that your kids are better. Be her friend, and give her a listening ear. Hopefully she will get the strength to stop her kids downfall. Your friend can do it with your help. Let her see that even though things have happened this way, that it could get better if she showed tough love to her kids. I'm sure she wants to save them from a life of misery. The kids may hate the mother at first, but hopefully in the long run, they will respect her and appreciate what she did.
2006-10-23 03:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing for you to do is to just stay out of it. Let her be the mother to kids that she is. If you butt in to much it might risk the friendship. I mean there's really nothing you can do cause everything has happened. She needs to get her act together. So let her figure it out on her own. Maybe a little prep talk to her might make her change her ways of the way she takes care of her kids.
2006-10-23 02:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Tia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first you need to talk to her,maybe she had a reason. MAYBE she tried hard to keep her kid on track but she wouldn't let her mom "interfere" with her life. NOT all kids are like this and don't think your daughters are going to follow the 16 year old! Good luck ♥
2006-10-23 02:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by Chiclacrosse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their is nothing you can do about this. We do not live in your friends house, so it is hard to say why this happened. If she wanted to she could call the authorities, and see what she can do to get her daughter on the right track, I would be concern too, if this was my family, but it is nothing you can do. May be it would be a good idea to suggest to her to go for counseling.
2006-10-23 02:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not let mine hang out with hers!! That's for sure. You need to make sure that your girls know that the way the others are living is only a dead end for them. Make an example of them to your girls and let them know that you love them and trust them. Maybe then they can make the right decisions. Good luck!!
2006-10-23 02:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by Collared 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm.thats rough. you should consider reporting her if its for the benefit of the kids because if the 16 yr old isnt emancipated she isn't technically on her own and their must be a way to get her back in her moms house or in something..i dont really know how to help , but it also might be best just to continue telling her to get her daughter back and offering help ..
2006-10-23 02:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't easy...but they ARE HER kids, not yours. Therefore parenting styles differ. Because they aren't coming up the way you would hope, yours are. Don't let what others do bother you. Your doing your job by raising your how you see fit. You can't raise other kids too, and it's even hard trying to tell others how to raise theirs.
2006-10-23 02:58:45 · answer #8 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End the relationship with this family. You are secretely telling your kids you like that too. Unless you speak with you kids that you never dream of such things happening to them or else they will give you trouble.
2006-10-23 03:01:40 · answer #9 · answered by infinitum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
while you are not the type of person to do this, she obviously is.
everyone is raised differently, has different morals and beliefs.
the best thing is to support her, and focus on what you can change, which is your kids.
i'm sure that everything will work out fine for them in the long run.
perhaps they need to experience these things to find themselves or God.
2006-10-23 02:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by Tom O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋