i went to this dating website a year ago and someone who is my superior found me there. i figured out it was him and he also knew it was me. the thing is, he has sent me two emails I haven't opened because I won't put myself in a vulnerable position but how come the guy still goes online like once per week. and i know he's not writing to other ladies. i know that if this individual were trustworthy, he would send me a private email where I can read what he has to say in peace and without him knowing whether I have actually opened the email. should I just avoid him?
thanks
2006-10-23 02:39:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
we sort of like each other but never went out or anything
2006-10-23 02:39:41 · update #1
i actually agree with Just Gone
but I still want to hear what you think
thanks
2006-10-23 02:49:29 · update #2
Well, I'm not really sure how reading his e-mails would make you vulnerable. If you feel it is inappropriate for you to have a relationship with your superior in the workplace, then perhaps you should respond to his e-mails and let him know that, or tell him in person, whatever makes you more comfortable. However, if you do not feel this would cause a problem and there is not a policy in place against it, then perhaps you should go out for a date with him. Of course, you have to keep in mind that, if he is not very emotionally stable, if things don't go well, he may take that out on you at work. Personally, I would not enter into a relationship with my boss because of those very issues. You just need to let him know what your position is so that this does not lead to continued discomfort for you in the workplace. If he doesn't stop e-mailing you after that, you could consider pursuing it as sexual harassment.
2006-10-23 02:47:45 · answer #1 · answered by Redshift Agenda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one. I agree that if he DOES know its you he should totally approach you via private email - or in person. well, I think that fact that you haven't even opened the emails yet says a lot. it tells me that you are not 100% sure or keen on this guy cos if you were TOTALLY keen for him you'd have opened them in 5 seconds!!! So I think go with your heart on this one - delete the emails and maybe even send him one saying I've deleted the emails cos I don't want to make myselg vulnerable and I think the situation is inappropriate. then see how he reacts to that - it will be an indication of what kind of a person he is.
2006-10-23 09:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by supagrrrl84 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to pursue a relationship with him? Then yes, open an email, see what it says and try talking to him in person.
If no, delete the emails, and walk away.
If you're unsure then open them, but don't pursue it unless you want to. If he's only sending you mail so he'll know when you open it, you can refuse the next email that he may send, or turn him down in person.
2006-10-23 09:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by Drolefille 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work out what you where you want this to "go" and then
open the emails and communicate that message to him.
Whilst you don't open the emails he knows you haven't
opened them. He knows you have a problem. Don't
have a problem. Deal with it. (It's just an email.)
2006-10-23 10:36:21 · answer #4 · answered by Ego Fatigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously this situation is disturbing to you. Follow your hunches and avoid him. There's something not quit "above board" with what he's doing and I'm sensing that you are picking up on that. Trust your intuition on this one!
2006-10-23 11:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what do you want? out of life? if you want to be in this situation then read and respond.. if that is not helping you to your goal then forget it life is too short to worry about something that isn't going to get you where you want to go!
Good luck!
2006-10-23 10:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your superior. If you kinda like him DO NOT go out with him. It will hurt his career and it will hurt yours.
This has sexual harassment lawsuit written all over it
2006-10-23 10:56:08 · answer #7 · answered by shinobisoulxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is possible that he may think it is you, but is unsure. there are hundreds, if not thousands of people who use online dating sites. or, maybe he is using the site to see if you really are interested in him.
2006-10-23 09:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by john j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for this crass reply but it is intended to illustrate a point.
"You don't get your meat where you get your potatoes!"
Work and pleasure are not a good mix.
2006-10-23 09:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a no win situation. Don't read them.
2006-10-23 09:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋