I have a 14 yr old daughter who is in her first year of hs. Yesterday some information surfaced that has me very upset. She told me last night that she purchased speed from a girl at school and the girl is suppose to bring it in to her today. Her sister told us that she told her that she also took speed at the football game Friday night. Her father and her go together, apperatenly she went into the bathroom with a friend and took it. She said that she did tell her sister this, but it was a lie. Imagine that. Well anyway, I found out she has been on MySpace and I took a look at her message history and seen a message in which she was asking someone for pills back on 10/18. Her words "I love pot and pills." When I contfronted her, she told me that she is just so depressed that she wants to be dead and she never took the pills, but wanted to.She has an appt this am for bloodwork. She is normally a good studentand I am afraid that she will be suspended. Should I tell the school?
2006-10-23 02:33:50 · 18 answers · asked by Julia 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Please tell me what steps I should take.
2006-10-23 02:34:44 · update #1
Well, firstly I would be more worried about the depression and suicidal thoughts than the prospect of her being suspended. I don't see the point in telling administrators at the school, but I would let her school counselor know what is going on so that the counselor can take any appropriate steps to help your daughter. I would then talk to her about why she is feeling so depressed. Perhaps she feels she has too much pressure on her to be "a good student" as speed is popular among students mostly to help them focus on school work and stay up longer/be motivated to get it done and do well. Pot, on the other hand, will allow her to rest, relax, and come down off of the speed and forget about her problems for a moment. Just be supportive of her and her struggles and perhaps talk to her about family therapy or at least therapy involving the relationship between herself and you. I hope everything works out!
2006-10-23 02:38:11 · answer #1 · answered by Redshift Agenda 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
1. Get professional help TODAY
2. Search her room, from top to bottom--it is your responsiblity to do this--privacy is not a right it is earned.
3. Make an appointment with the school counselor and the principal and advise them of the situation--they may have additional resources.
4. Don't forget to tell her that you love her and you are not doing this to be mean to her. You are doing this because you love her.
5. Find some other parents you can talk too, there are support groups for everything.
6. DO NOT ignore it.
7. DO NOT allow her unsupervised internet time. If the computer is not in a common room, move it. There is also a large variety of parental control software on the market.
8. While you are doing all this be sure to spend some quality down time with her and don't let her goad you into losing your cool.
9. Remember how hard high school was for us? Have some compassion, and let her know no one could pay you enough to do high school again...
2006-10-23 10:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by ms_books3736 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hi im not a teacher, counselor or a parent of a teen but i am 18 and i know what ur daughter and u are goin though as my family went thought the same thing with my baby sister who is now 17. my advice is to take ur daughter to see a counselor because there might be an underlying problem that needs sorting out which might be the course of ur daughter wanting to take pills and yes i think u should let the school know as the might be able to do something about the person sellin the drugs and if the dont know say for example ur daughter takes one at school and it goes wrong the school will not know what to do if they dont know the cause.
i wish u all the best with this
2006-10-25 06:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Cheeky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't be mad at her. She has already been through enough. Second, if she is doing this stuff, enter her into a rehabilitation clinic.
There are things bothering teens that they will not tell anybody, especially parents, in fear of how they will react and how they will find out how they screwed up.
You should only tell the school that you have found out that there could be some drug dealing going around, but you can get anything at school (unless it's a private school). There are some ways to stop it, but it will keep on coming back.
Good luck with your daughter. Hope this will help.
You just received all of this from a fifteen year old.
2006-10-23 10:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by George 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I want to say that you are a really good mom to be online figuring out a solution to this. Most parents just yell and scream at their kids which never works, so I think it is great that you are thinking this through.
Drug use is a pretty complicated problem. There are many factors that lead to why people begin to use and what maintains their use....based on your explanation, she appears to be using the drugs as an escape/way to handle her negative feelings and depression. I would start by getting to the root of this problem. i would also attack the problem comprehensively. Set her up with a psychologist and a psychiatrist....the psychiatrist can administer any meds she may need for depression/anxiety.....the psychologist will handle counseling.....if the psychologist recommends it, you could go to a drug counselor, but a general therapist that specializes in adolescents should be sufficient. The fact that she told you she wants to be dead means that she is reaching out to you for help....and she's lucky you've noticed.
Anyway, I wouldn't get the school involved yet. You could just bring her unecesary problems. I would start with weekly counseling sessions, and medications first.
Also, it might help to restrict her internet use (in reason) because that seems to be one of the ways she is communicating to get drugs. I know you can't cut her off from all dealers, but do what you can. Just be careful because you dont want her to get defensive. The more she pulls away fom you the more it will be difficult to help her.
I'm sure you'll get through this!
Take Care, and Good Luck!
2006-10-23 03:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I completely disagree with the last response. You should be very concerned with the suicidal thoughts and depression, but my question would be is this just a ploy to get out of trouble? You should definitely notify the school about the other girl and the fact that this is taking place on school grounds. Unfortunately we cannot watch our children 24/7, but if you have the school administration on your side it can help. You daughter needs to learn that there are consequences to her actions and that drug usage had BIG consequences. If she is suspended or sent to an alternative classroom then that is a consequence. At 14 she is old enough to know better and to face the music of her decisions. If you don't make her face up to the consequences then she will think that she can just say she was depressed and going to kill herself every time she does something wrong.
I would put her in a drug treatment program, take her to a scared straight program (usually put on by your local police department or state jail. She needs a BIG wake up call! I would not treat her with kid gloves! IF she is old enough to make these decisions then she is old enough to face up to it!!!
2006-10-23 02:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by me:0) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a daughter same age and grade. First, call the school and tell them there is a drug dealer there. Also, check with the school guidance counselor and psychologist. They may know more about your daughter than you think. Get her into counseling and drug rehab. Find out who her friends are. I have four teenagers and found that sometimes their friends have an influence on them. Last but not least, let her know that you love her and are there to help without judging her. I have found that means alot to a teenage girl.
2006-10-23 09:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by lgb1072 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You honestly need to ring the school; Tell them your concerns of drug use among the students, they may get someone in to talk about the side effect of drugs.* they cannot suspend her if she didn't take drugs at school"
Take her to have her blood work done
Take her to see a counseller, therapist or psychiatrist, She really does NEED HELP if she is infact suffering from depression it could be many things and she needs to talk about it.
Take her to your doctor and let her speak to the doctor byherself about feeling depressed,The doctor may recommend some temporary medication, Especially if she is feeling suicidal
If she goes out with friends reguarly, Restrict her from doing so, Peer pressure plays a HUGE role with drugs, Instead hire her a movie or a magazine and sweets so she can have time for herself, ** if you do chose to have her on medication, she should not be anywhere near any illicit drugs at all**
You should also seriously consider the influence this " Friend" is having on your child if she is normally pretty placid, Cut short some of her phone calls with this friend
Ask your daughter questions, but do not pry.
She does need a serious grounding if she has taken speed.
Warn her of the risks, Ground her!! & show her www.facesofmeth.com this will show her what her face will look like if she keep taking drugs.
Speed (methamphetamine)can cause irreversible damage to blood vessels in the brain, producing strokes. Death can result from hyperthermia, convulsions and cardiovascular collapse.
Chronic, high-dose Speed (methamphetamine)abusers are susceptible to violent and erratic behavior, and a psychosis similar to schizophrenia. The neurotoxic effect of Speed (methamphetamine)causes damage to brain cells that contain dopamine and serotonin. Over time, reduced levels of dopamine can result in symptoms like those of Parkinson's disease, a severe movement disorder.
Hang in there, if she has an episode or is on drugs at any stage, Take her to emergency immidiently, Speed is serious and can cause heart attacks and strokes.
2006-10-23 03:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say to tell the school, try and comfort her and get her out of being depressed, if she gets suspended her depression will just get worse by if you are getting mad at her for this, so I would suggest to not get after her for any of it let her know that you are there for her and she doesn't need drugs to be happy, maybe take her on a trip somewhere not too expensive she wants to go, to get away from everything let her mind clear she is worth taking off of work, and if you don't quite have the money to take a vacation with her take her out and get her pampered if she likes that, just don't get angry at her for all this happening, it will just frustrate her more and make her more depressed. Good Luck
2006-10-23 04:44:31 · answer #9 · answered by Lisha 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say take all steps to ensure your daughters safety! First and foremost concentrate your efforts towards getting your daughter to feeling better mentally. Sounds like she needs someone to talk to that will listen to her about her "issues". It's always sad to hear someone say they want to be dead, especially our own children. We know teenagers have crazy moodswings sometimes and go through alot of awkward phases growing up....just be there for her and let her know there is NOTHING she can't talk about with you....that you'll listen, be non-judgemental and help her any way you can. Our children need us parents more than ever in todays society..they need to know we are there and care and will never turn our backs on them. Don't worry about trouble at school or anyone else getting into trouble over it...you worry about making sure your daughter doesn't start a habit that can spin out of control on her and ruin her life....She could be starting out with these pills and pot now..only to start doing worse things. I've seen my sisters destroyed by drugs....she started out with small stuff at 14 and today at age 33 is sitting in prison until August 2008 for meth charges and check forgery. Please just worry about her health and getting her on track...nothing else on earth is as important...Best of luck to you and God bless!! :)
2006-10-23 02:42:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋