My niece is 10 and lately she is hating herself. She is always saying she is ugly, which she isn't, and she is stupid, which she isn't.
This is a new thing with her and as many times as I tell her she isn't ugly or stupid she argues with me.
How can I make her see what we all see.
2006-10-23 02:30:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a difficult age....they often have these feelings during these middle school years. Mine went through the same thing and now at 12 and 16 they think and know they are beautiful, and smart. First, don't make any big deal out of it. Just, say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way, but to me you are beautiful" or "smart". Then don't say anymore! Building up confidence can be a job, but can be fun.....this is a real opportunity for the two of you to bond... Which is much needed during this age. Try to remember yourself at this age...hormones plays a "big" part.....so there will be days that she feels good again, and the next day she will be down on herself again. Take care and it will get better.
2006-10-23 02:40:00 · answer #1 · answered by Rea 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the same as your niece with low self esteem when I was younger. I can tell you from experience what has worked for me to boost my self-image concept when it was low. Keep reinforcing her that she is beautiful. Whenever she does something different with her hair, or has a new outfit - any slight positive change in her image - compliment her on it - and the key is repetition. Find out how she's doing in school - concentrate on her good grades and positive comments from teachers and then bring it up to her, praise her, tell her that she is a bright girl. Also, if you want to go another route - enrolling her into some sort of dance classes which involves healthy competition with kids her age will improve her confidence. Take her to one of those photo places at the mall and have her picture taken after her hair, clothes, and whatever else are done the way she likes. Maybe there is something about her appearance she wants to change, but doesn't know how to go about it - ask her what she doesn't like about herself and if it's something that can be improved by reasonable means, work on that. Also, maybe signing her up for some sort of regular sport that she would enjoy will take her mind off of focusing on herself as much.
2006-10-23 09:43:28 · answer #2 · answered by Angie A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may be worth a trip to the library, take out books on self esteem, or get the tapes. Take her out once in a while and get her hair done. Just keep talking to her, School peer pressure has a lot to do with this. Tell her you are as pretty inside, as you are outside. She has to learn to believe in herself. This is going to take time, but keep telling her, let her join a girl scout group. This is a good outlet, for young girls.
2006-10-23 09:36:53 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out why she feels the way she feels. Kids at school may have put that thought into her head. Also, how are her grades? My son who is 7 has been saying he isn't smart lately and I found out is because the teacher never calls on him to answer a question. I practically had to pry it from him. I have a teacher-parent conference this week. You first have to start with how that person feels and why they feel that way. You might be surprised at the answer.
2006-10-23 09:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop trying to do it through words.
take a dance or yoga class with her.
try bellydance. or modern dance.
try going for a walk and camping and hiking.
get her out doing things that make her feel good.
NOT SHOPPING.
a hobby that interests her is good.
find out what she likes and get her motivated and involved with that. you can't change her feelings by telling her she's wrong.
it will happen when she loves to live and be herself.
when there is something she loves to do.
what does she like? do it with her!
2006-10-23 09:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think when the subject pop up ignore it
she only need attention from you and when she put
herself down you react and that why and how they
get you're full attention,focus on the things she likes
the most an compliment her on that,inscrib her in dance
lesson or favorite sport,to built her confident up.
take care
isabelle
2006-10-23 09:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is being picked on in school, take her shopping for some new clothes, maybe a new hair style.
2006-10-23 09:32:09 · answer #7 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋