after 2 yrs of marriage my wife told me she was not virgin and she had reletionship with a friend before mariage, now i feel very bad about all this as i was virgin before wedding,feel cheated and want to break but it's too late , pls help
otherwise she is very good in nature and nice girl
2006-10-23 01:51:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
shame on just about all of you!! wether she was a virgin or not is beside the point What about misrepresenting herself?? pretending to be something she was not???? If she really loved him she should have been honest with him up front, no???? I'm not saying one way or the other if he should leave her. He needs to decide that for himself. But not based on wether she was a virgin. He should decide wether he can TRUST her or not!!! Is this the only lie?? whatelse may she have withheld from him?
2006-10-23 16:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by hellyeah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is is because you're afraid that she'd measure you up w/ the guy she's been w/ before? if so, you shouldn't be. It happened in the past and you should put it all behind you.
When you said that she had a relationship w/ a friend b4 marriage, do you mean she cheated on you? or did it happen before? I would probably feel the same way you do if she cheated while you guys are together, otherwise, it's history. She probably lied about it because she didn't want to hurt your feelings knowing that you were also a virgin. She probably thought you might think you wouldn't live up to her expectations. If it makes you feel better, talk to her, let her know how you feel and tell her that it bothers you that she kept that little secret from you and that from now you guys shouldn't keep secrets from each other.
2006-10-23 02:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by MISSTERY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad indeed. I understand you much better than those above,
I know how you feel right now. The worst feeling for you at the moment is:- How does she compare you with the one she had sex with before you came in. Are you any better...? These questions are disheartening. You now have trouble to get answers.The fact that this lady lied all the way only to break it now 2 years later sounds suspicious .Is it that she is now ringing bells into your ears? Has she got anything up her sleeves again.
I am touched with your feelings because I married my first timer as well I vowed to know no other woman. She knew she made me know sex first and I knew that she was not a virgin...So I stayed on for some years untill later ...in my opinion she started abusing me in so may ways....I went out to taste some waters and used to drink alot because of the problems I faced. We are divorced now its two years .
I am marrying again this Dec 06 but bot a virgin, I chanced to get a virgin before I met this fiancee, unfortunately I will not marry her,
My advice is :- stay on... tell her your worries and see how she responds if she is kind of sarcastic and shows signs of you not satisfying her in bed then I suggest consider parting ways now before any damage is done. Its the hard way.
This is a gross betrayal of trust. It may look simple to others but I know verywell. The onus is on her to keep you now and assure you that you are the greatest. The last question is why did she want to disclose this now? I am at pains as well there might be more men.
Goodluck.
2006-10-23 02:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by infinitum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, would you have left her before married if she told you the truth? If you really love somebody that must be one of the last factors you look at. She had a relationship before she met you, that's not bad. Don't judge. Would it have made any difference if she had been a virgin? Don't think so. I understand you wanted to marry a virgin because you were a virgin. Would you rather marry a virgin that you don't really love? ONE Question: why did you marry her? 1. Because you thought she was a virgin 2. Because you love her. Don't let this thing destroy you. Good luck.
2006-10-23 02:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by confussie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why you'd be upset, especially since you were a virgin when you were married. You have to ask yourself one important question. Can you live without her? Marriage is a very important matter and should not be entered into lightly. She did lie to you which was wrong. But consider this, at least she didn't sleep with 20 guys before you married her. Look into your heart and forgive her if you really love her and forget about the past. You can't build a future living in the past. Look at her for who she is and not how many sex partners she's had.
2006-10-23 02:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave the past in the past. At least she is being honest with you. I f she is devoted to you know and being a good wife then what are you worried about. When yall got married it was to start a new life with everything in the past behind you all. So dont break up with her just because of something that happened way before yall got married you would be a fool to let that ruin a marraige
2006-10-23 02:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by homie_j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's up with you, it's not like you could turn back and marry some other girl who is virgin, because you not, and than she'll be cheated...well why don't you deal with it and appreciate her being honest with you and that she is nice girl and has a good nature...
2006-10-23 02:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please, you can't be serious.
do you love her?
did you love her before?
is this the only thing that puzzles you? i guess it depends on your culture (that's probably why you are shocked). but if you love her with your full heart, and if you say she is a good and nice girl... don't even consider to stop loving her. she did a mistake by probably telling you she was a virgin. but you guess why?? because she must have been too afraid to tell you. afraid of losing you. afraid to lose the love of her life (or otherwise she would not have considered marrying you). forgive her for not telling you the full truth. she did it because she was afraid. good luck + take care :-)
2006-10-23 01:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by india18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so funny! A man a virgin before getting married .Thats a crock a crap.E ven my daughter knows that and she just a teen.I bet you were about 15 when you lost yours . Good fable though. lol
2006-10-23 02:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, she should have told you before you two got married, but she didn't. So really all that is injured is your pride right? If she is a good person in every other way, and she makes you happy, and you truly love her, then work through this. Have you asked her why she never told you? Obviously she was afraid to tell you because she was afraid she would loose you. But if you truly love her, she won't loose you--right?
2006-10-23 01:59:04 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋