A few years ago I was engaged to my high school sweetheart. We were together for two years before I started to realise I didn't love him anymore - what I originally loved about him was his outgoing, fun and cheekiness had become alcoholic, smart-**** and posessive. His best friend was living with us at the time in the spare room and was everything my fiance was not - caring, generous and sensitive. I slowly formed a crush on him and when I broke up with my fiance I have to admit part of it was because I wanted to be with him instead. Not long after we broke up, I was with his best friend. It lasted three months and came to nothing; at the cost of which I broke up their friendship.
Very few people know this about me except close friends and people who were around at the time, because I feel I will be judged. Does this incident make me a bad person?
2006-10-23 01:46:17 · 20 answers · asked by Ericka 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hate to tell you this, but your ex's best friend isn't the reason you broke up, he was just the excuse.
You said it yourself, your ex had become someone you didn't want to be with. The relationship between you two was already dead. His friend just happen to be there at the same time and was happy to take on the job. If it had not been him, it might have been another guy.
Also, you can't blame yourself for their friendship ending. If your ex's friend didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't have been with you. He knew that a relationship with you would cost him his friendship with your ex.
In the end, no, you are not a bad person.
2006-10-23 01:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by M.A.X. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really the fault of the two of you. Who would bring a friend to live with a fiance? When you are engaged to someone, then you need some time for just yourselves, there can't be 'strangers' nearby, you just need quality time. Now, how can you be engaged to someone that you really didn't know well enough to realize that he was an alcoholic, etc... Isn't that why we have a boyfriend-girlfriend era, to get to know each other well? And lastly, how could you, being engaged and all, have the "eyes" to look into somebody else and start crushing for some other guy?
I don't know if you are a bad person, but you aren't a good one; and that is putting it mildly.
2006-10-23 02:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by josecarlosolivera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a bad person, It is all part of growing up, and just learn from your mistakes. The grass always looks greener on the other side, until you get over their, The key is , the next friend you get, go with him a while so you could get to know him, and let a friendship turn into a relationship! Be positive of yourself, and do not worry about any one says, it happened, your are sorry you had to learn the hard way, It is all a part of life.
2006-10-23 01:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For them, yes it might. But theres nothing you can do about it anymore coz things happend already. Now what you can do is to start all over.Im sure time will pass by and they'll get over it.Or even the 3 of you might get together someday and just laugh at it.You may never know. So dont sobber.Just be careful this time and be sure with who you choose to be so as not to hurt anyones feelings and relationship again.
2006-10-23 02:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by KD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a bad person. Life is what it is. You were very smart in leaving before you couldn't leave, and sleeping with his friend, well they will get passed and still be friends. Just give them some time, and you need to just move right along and do something for yourself and have some fun
2006-10-23 01:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by sillyredhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if neither of them was "meant to be"..then there is really nothing you can do about the past.people change,even the high school sweetheart can change with time,he wasnt perfect either ..you know that,so why do you think people expect you to be so perfect,and who knows maybe one day he might come back into your life the exact person that you fell in love with in the beginning.all that really matters is if you are able to forgive yourself and move on ...after all you and everyone else is just trying to live there life,noone ever said it came with instructions,right?
2006-10-23 01:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by crystal d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! I think the fact that you are worrying that you are a bad person means that really you are a very decent person. Besides they couldn't have been the best of mates in the first place if their friendship broke up.
2006-10-23 15:52:02 · answer #7 · answered by Kimbo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are a bad person....I think that your ex may be though...It seems like he took you for granted, and so, he pushed you away. I don't think he really knows what it takes to have a successful relationship...
As for dating his friend afterwards, that doesn't make you a bad person either. So what you broke up a friendship.........Your ex was only jealous of his friend having you. Maybe if he would have shown you what you needed, you would still be together.
2006-10-23 01:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does not make you a bad person. You followed your heart and did what you needed to do. Now on the other hand the best friend should never have dated you knowing that it would break up his friendship
2006-10-23 01:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those feelings were perfectly natural.... maybe it was just a way of fate letting you know you weren't with the right person to begin with. Don't sweat it, your not a bad person, and if the guys friend really cared about their friendship, he wouldn't have got with you, so don't worry about it.
2006-10-23 01:56:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋