Never seemed to be on the same page for sex with wife. I seem to need it on a regular basis. She doesn't. Our deal is twice on weekends. And Tuesday and Thursday nights. Unfortunately, what she likes is that now there is no pressure on Mon,Wed,Fri. Anyone else have a similar deal. Will this compromise work, or is it doomed to failure? I would like many thoughts about this, so, if you've taken the time to read this, please take the time to answer with any or all thoughts
2006-10-23 01:44:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To expand, early 40's couple. 4 year old child. Yes, the spontaneity is no longer, other than any time can be moved to the next morning or evening if someone really isn't into it then, although I've never not been available. But we've eliminated the stress of me wanting it , being turned down, and the sadness that comes with that. Four times a week when she gets to decide the amount of time I think isn't so bad. Some weeks are 4-5 minutes 4 times equals a whole 20 minutes. I don't think that's too much to ask.
2006-10-23 02:12:20 · update #1
And 20 minutes a week, 3 weeks a month (5 days off for you know what) means I'm getting 1 hour of her time a month, is that so much to ask. Even if it is mechanical. I think this would save Danny Bonaduces marriage, if any of you have been following the show.
I do appreciate all the thoughts everyone have already submitted.
2006-10-23 02:19:19 · update #2
I think that was a very creative on your part. I also think that you are a very caring man. If this works why change it. At least you never said that you are going elsewhere for sex!
2006-10-23 01:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by Leilani L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I've ever needed to "strike a deal" for sex, but I've never been married, either, so I guess I don't count.
But, it seems to me that you're taking a lot of spontaneity out of the relationship. You'd think she'd like to be surprised once in a while. Now the only way to give her a nice surprise is to let her off the hook for the evening. Sounds like the romance is dead.
2006-10-23 01:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you must not have kids! I understand setting up a scheduled time to be together, especially if you both work. I would suggest that one of these nights that you just snuggle and show her that you are as aware of her needs as she is obviously aware of yours. Your wife is a Saint to have sex even when she isn't interested. I hope know how lucky you are and how special she is. Go out right now and buy her some jewelry!
2006-10-23 02:05:46 · answer #3 · answered by barkel76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You schedule doctor appts and dentist appts and hair appts, but scheduling sex is rediculous. It may work in the short term, but eventually YOU are going to start to feel like you are just another appointement your wife feels obligated to keep. You two have some serious intamcy issues that need to be addressed ASAP. Why is she so hesitant on giving you sex on the spur of the moment? I just dont know what else to say about this one.
2006-10-23 03:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 times a week, that is a little much to ask. If you have children, things can be very hard...Your idea and the time you set is great, but I think it should be "your" time not just to have sex....speaking for myself, I want more talk time....and of course listen time as well....if your wife is okay with the 4 a week, then great! I wish you and your family much happiness.
oh and what happens if "your" just not in the mood?
2006-10-23 01:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by baseballmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blink, blink, blink.
Don't you two like each other?
I guess it could work. Maybe try and find out why she doesn't like having sex. Is she too tired? Not in the mood? Don't you please her?
I think you guys need to talk, not just about when she will do her duty.
Man, this sounds like me and doing the dishes. Ah, do I haaave to??? Yes dear, it's you're duty, all the other wives do the dishes. We could use paper plates? Ok.
See, if you're not careful, you may end up with paper plates.
2006-10-23 01:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a dream come true.
I'd settle for 4 times a month at this point.
2006-10-23 06:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think anyone else can make a deal for the other nights? Seriously, isnt it hard to plan being in the mood?
2006-10-23 01:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, wouldn't work for me, but that doesn't really matter does it? If you and she are both happy with the situation, then noone else's opinion should make any difference.
2006-10-23 17:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by hellyeah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I happen to find it to be an interesting solution to a sticky situation. I honestly do think it could work. Good luck
2006-10-23 01:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋