2006-10-23 01:33:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
I can't speak for everyone, but , being gay, I can speak for myself. Being gay was torture as a kid, because who can you tell. Noone. You keep this dark dirty secret inside and let it fester and worry you to death, because of the fear of being rejected by friends and family. While your male friends are starting to like girls and date, you don't or you pretend and go through the motions ,when you would rather be dating your male friends.
But when I was old enough to not care what others thought,and came out to my Mom and Dad, and two best female friends, I was told that even though they didn't understand it or know why I'd be attracted to someone of my own sex, they still loved me the same as they always did. I was one of the lucky ones. Some parents choose to cut that child out of their lives. Sad. My mom asked questions,and even brought home an issue of Playgirl,and asked me to explain what it was in a man that I found attractive. Even though this was embarassing for me to do, I thought , how wonderful that this woman who gave birth to me ,would lower her standards to get this magazine and look at it with her gay son, all so she could know and understand me better. So I explained that I was looking for all the things a man wants with a woman,only with a man, and that the attractions were the same. Someone I'm physically attracted to, with a nice personality,and good sense of humor who I could love and who would love me forever. The sex, though slightly different, was the same as for straight people, either an expression of lust or of love. And that I loved women, but not in a sexual way or for a mate.
My Dad never talks about it, but has always shown me the same love and respect he has since I was born. I am out to most of my family and friends now, I wait til the person asks me and then I'm honest. If I had had a choice at birth , I would have chosen to be straight ,only so I would be accepted easily by my peers, have had a family and be considered among the normal crowd, be invited to the parties and gatherings of my straight friends even if they are mostly married couples, and I wouldn't have to look for men in bookstores and sex starved gay personals, full of men who don't want a commitment and who think monogamous, means I live with you but we both screw around.
Don't get me wrong, I am proud of who I am, because God made me this way in this life, for a reason,and who am I to second guess God. We are all his children and I treat people the way I'd like to be treated, with love, caring,and respect for who they are, and celebrate their uniqueness . I have to feel sorry for people who say that being gay is a choice. Is being straight a choice? I don't think so. Not any more than being born blind is. You work with what God gave you, and make the best of it. Would someone want to choose a sexuality where one is ostrisized , has to hide, pretend, show affection to the one they love only behind closed doors, not talk of their relationship to straight friends for fear of offending them, hence not sharing your whole life with those you love and ache to share with. No. I have been single my whole life, because almost all of the men who I have fallen in love with or who have fallen in love with me, have been married men , who hid it from me til they knew I could be trusted to keep their secret, and then wanted a LTR on the side with me. I had one such affair for twenty years,and when the man ended up divorced, he ended it, only because he couldn't face telling his grown children ,he is so close to. So sad, we could have been so happy. I find that most of the married men I've met have either had gay sex from time to time, have had gay sex since before they were married, or after the kids were grown,they finally came out. So , guess what folks, the percentage of gay people in the population is probably 50%,if not more, higher than you've been told, as the gay men married to women, haven't been counted, and they range in age from 20 -80. They only men I have found who chose to be gay, are those men who have been badly burned in straight relationships and are hesitant to be hurt by another woman, but have sexual needs , so they try with some guy they trust,and though nervous and scared at first, they are amazed that they actually enjoy the sex and get so excited by another man, so they keep having gay sex, even though they are always uncomfortable with it, until they find another woman they fall for ,enough to take a chance of getting hurt. But if hurt again, they turn to men again. These men are not gay, but frustrated straights, or what I call, gay wannabes, some start being with men to escape the overwhelming responsibilities of being husband,father, breadwinner,and never emotional always macho.
They weren't born gay,and decided to try it as an alternative or because they are bored with their sex life or lives in general. There are some men who though happily married, have suppressed those feelings they had for men when in their teens, so well, that when they meet a new male friend and feel butterflies at the sight of him, or can't wait to be near him, and are drawn to him, and start to ache when he isn't around, if the opportunity arises take the plunge and have sex with him,and realize they are finally home. They realize that this is the way it was suppose to be for them and suddenly realized that the happiness they thought they had, they have just found for the first time in their lives. I call them late bloomers. They usually had strict upbringings that stifled anything of themselves and their lives were planned for them, by over bearing parents or because of religious beliefs and they never experienced theirselves from the inside, but only interacted with the exterior world they were brought up in and were discouraged from trying things different to those around them. They followed the leader or leaders,instead of finding their own. When it happens , it shakes the very foundation of life as they believed it to be,and they are totally confused and asea. These are the men who need therapy to get through the coming out process, but who when they confide in someone, are usually told to get therapy to get rid of the disease of being gay. Being Gay isn't a disease, I can't breathe on you and turn you gay, and you can't turn gay; from eating after me, or from sitting on the same toilet seat. And no amount of therapy will cure you and make you straight, short of hypnotizing you to believe it, or brainwashing. So America, look at the beautiful diversity of life , of man,animal,mammal,plant and insect, there are so many species within each catagory, why would God have made all of mankind alike, when painting the multicolored canvas of life. We aren't meant to be clones, who exist, but amazing creations that constantly change and evolve. I hate labels, they constrict and choke growth and acceptance. We are all creations of God, we are life.
2006-10-23 03:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by mainah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im straight but Ive had a gay best friend for years and I love him to death. I think you have a right to be happy with someone of your choice no matter who you are and no one should have a right to judge you on your actions but God. I think if the worst of it is being gay your probably okay :)
2006-10-23 01:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by Catie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never be gay,but i have some really close mates who are and i love them to pieces so gay is fine,just not for me lol
I remember one night,i ended up in a roughish area lots of big build guys staring at me and my mates and one of my gay (lad) mates walked in the store and started styling my hair 1 he was drunk 2 he had just got his degree 3 my hair had fallen out of the clip it was SO funny i mean really you had to be there.Any way gay lasses are great for talking to about lads ( trust me) and the gay lads are great talking about anything ( the ones i know at least lol )
2006-10-23 04:15:49 · answer #3 · answered by kez_124 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not gay, but gay people dont bother me, and therefor I can assume that I wouldnt be bothered if I was gay.
I wouldnt be upset if any of my kids turned out to be gay either.
2006-10-23 01:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anria A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is really up to the person if they want to be gay there not hurting anyone one of my cousins is gay and she is great i wouldnt change one thing about her shez always up for a laugh aslong as your not hurting anyone by being gay good luck to you hee hee x
2006-10-23 01:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by ..x..blue.eyed.princess..x.. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not gay but my english teacher is and he is one of the best teachers i have had, i see them as no different to anyone else expect for their sexual orientation which then is non of my business
2006-10-23 02:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like that is the case gender dysphoria is real and you might want to talk with a doctor about this. some people are borned the wrong gender, and go most of their life stuck in the wrong body. i know part of me wants to be female.
2016-05-22 00:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not any different that i would about any other group of people. whats the difference??? people are people, there are good, bad, short, tall, nice and mean among all races so i dont have a problem with any one group. just the mean ones i avoid
2006-10-23 01:37:59 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I always maintain, what consenting adults do behind closed doors is of no interest to me.
2006-10-23 01:37:06 · answer #9 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your happy and not hurting anyone go for it. everyone has a right to be happy
2006-10-23 01:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by fernwood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋