Why is it harder for a Black woman to find acceptance when shes in a interracial relationship?

Question

My cousin just got engaged to to wonderful and sweet man from Colombia. And he is very respectable and has a masters degree. My family is very dissaponited and keep on asking, "why didn't you bring home a nice black boy?" The same thing happened to me. I was going out with this latino boy and my family was very against it. But my older brother dated a asian girl and no one said nothing about her race. What's up?

Answer 1

I think that it is harder for a black woman to date outside her race because I think, we as a people, think that black women are to keep the bloodline "pure". I also think that there is a double standard in your family, and as well in the black community. It is okay for a black man to date outside his race, but it is look down upon if a black woman does it, but if you are in love with this guy it should matter what color his is

Answer 2

I"m married to a vietnamese/german man who looks outwardly caucasian. I've experienced the very same things, so you're not alone. Interestingly, what I find is that black people tend to be less understanding than whites. Strange, indeed. Whenever I go to a predominantly black establishment with my husband, I get blatant stares of shock, even resentment, from the men and the women look at me like I think i'm somehow better than them because I have a white man.

However, when i'm around whites, for the most part, unless we go to some redneck joint, we are treated just like everyone else. There may be initial stares because it does tend to catch the eye, but people end up going about their business.

I'm not sure why it is, but I suspect that a lof of black people are still trapped in the past and see every white person as the enemy, when a lot of times, we are enemies to eachother.

I'd tell your cousing to live her life and don't worry about making everyone happy because it's impossible. As long as her man is making you happy, what else matters?

Answer 3

I believe the problem is insecurity at your family's end. Seems to me that they have been through a bad experience with latinos. Or maybe because they know so well how Latino's will play in a relationship. They think maybe Latinos may not play fair.

Or maybe because your brother is a man, he can't possibly get hurt too bad. Whereas you, a woman, can really be vulnerable.

Its actually your welfare they're concerned about, They sure wouldn't want to see their daughter get hurt by dominant Latino men.

They might have agreed on your bro getting an asian simply because they thought asians are fair partners.

Whatever the reason, you just need to prove toyour family that there is sense in all your choices. Prove it Make sure the guy you choose will not trash you in the end.

Also make your parents understand that its not fair to judge someone without actually knowing him more and giving him a chance to introduce himself and prove his worth.

Be smart.

Good luck

Answer 4

Usually the negative feed back is from the black males in her family and social circle. this is because many of them feel threatened by the idea of you wanting to be in relationship with someone they sometimes consider their rival. Its almost as if you're insulting them and saying "you're not good enough" . I find this very hypocritical because now a days black men seem to want to be with everyone but a black woman. when ever i say a white guy is cute i get a back lash too. Don't worry tho they'll get over it.

Answer 5

My family was against the relation I had with a brasilian black girl, we broke up after a while,then I realized that similarity matters in relationship, it makes it easier, but this doesn't have to be called racism. In your case is better you find out if your boy is more similar to you because of his race and it is not just an exotic trip you are in.

Answer 6

I dont think men date black women based on the color shades, I would think general appearance, intelligence and personality are what men usually looking for. If a man date a black woman based on her color shades, this man may just wants to date and may not have an intention to marry her, because, for a long term commitment, color shades are the least important element to keep a couple together.

Answer 7

women face this all the time, from family friends and society in general... it really is not the race women are, it still is a man's world and men get acceptance more than women...we have come a long way and still have a long way to go...one can help educate society by keep our head up and demand equal rights as we live our lives and also teach our youth that women are powerful and able to do anything we wish to....hang in there and we will survive this, hopefully soon...

Answer 8

Because as one very good friend often used tell me, the Black woman is still seen as a GEM to Black men and not to be taken, but then I think ALL men of ALL races are very terittorial when it comes to their women and that is based on experience and seeing my Indian friends REACT VERY STRONGLY to Indian women with White,Chinese and Black men.So thats the reason. Okay ? There was the business of one Indian friend with a beautiful blonde and there was a REACTION to that as well ! LOL . its more a CASE of SHES OURS, ALL men of ALL races are like that, believe me.

Answer 9

That's a little known secret in our black community. I will date any race, as long as the person is decent. We have just started accepted our black men dating outside the race but as with any race it is usually unacceptable for the females of that race to date outside it. For blacks I think it has to do with the taboo of other races dating black women. Although it's been years, there is still that forbidden taboo about other races dating black women.

Answer 10

some ppl have a sick mentality at the end of the day you go out with the person you are attracted to. what has colour got to do with it? people like that are the reason why racism is still rife in the 21st century